


Cocoon

by Denrhea



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Childhood friends Minako and Hiroko, Family Secrets, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Mother-son conflict, Mutual Pining, Omega Verse, Pining Katsuki Yuuri, Pining Victor Nikiforov, Secret Past, Suicidal Thoughts, With A Twist, i'll add more later, mentions of other relationships, not between Yuuri and Victor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:00:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 62,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denrhea/pseuds/Denrhea
Summary: Presentation could not happen at a more inconvenient time, at the end of a competition in Fukuoka.  Victor is rushing to find a safe place when he finds Yuuri scared, lost and alone...and also very definitely presenting.  They are later found cocooned together.Cocoon (verb): when two youths are placed together during presentation creating an attachment.NOTE:  There will be no underaged sex detailed in this story although it will be suggested.  However, both parties will be a teenager.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 711
Kudos: 679





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new story! I'm excited about this one. Lots of pining between our two boys. We begin with 9 year old Yuuri and 13 year old Victor. Trust me to take care of our boys...but there will be some tears in between.

* * *

Victor groaned as he felt the prickly flush slide up his skin. He’d read about the symptoms in sex-ed but he didn’t feel ready for it. He began going through the checklist.  _ Get someplace safe and private. _ Presentation wasn’t rut or heat but it still incapacitated its victims. That’s how Victor felt towards the natural process as he felt the nausea rolling in his stomach.  _ Thirteen. Every other skater at the rink presented at sixteen or older. Why the fuck do I have to present at thirteen. _ He could feel something...something drawing him. The scent...it was sweet.  _ What is that scent? _

Victor rounded the corner and his eyes widened at the little Japanese boy curled up in the far corner frightened. Shaking off the cloudy thoughts in his head, he approached the child. “Hello, are you lost?” defaulting to English in hopes the boy would understand.

Wide brown eyes lifted up towards him and Victor was hit once more by that scent...and like vinegar, the distress as clear as the expression on that wide-eyed face. “Oh,  _ solnyshko _ ,” he murmured, kneeling down in front of him. “I’m not going to hurt you. Do you even know what is going on?”

The boy shook his head but seemed to relax a little. “I feel weird and like...I need to hide.”

Which made sense.  _ Omega _ . And that need to protect him drumming under Victor’s skin.  _ Alpha _ . “Let’s find someplace safe,” Victor suggested. The boy hesitated before taking Victor’s outstretched hand. “Do you know who I am?”

That mop of brown hair bounced as the boy nodded his head. “You’re V-Victor. The best skater in the world.”

Victor chuckled softly as he pulled the little omega down the hall and finally opened a door. It was used for the medics but they seemed to be out at the moment. “Well, not yet. But maybe someday. What’s your name?”

“Katsuki Yuuri. My friend Yuuko calls me Yuu-chan.”

Victor felt the omega’s charms working on him, and really, he was just out and out cute. “Can I call you Yuu-chan?”

Yuuri studied him solemnly before nodding with all the seriousness his small body could handle.

“Then you should call me Vitya. My closest friends use that name.”

Yuuri’s eyes widened and his cheeks bloomed with a blush. Looking around, he murmured nervously, “My teacher should be here soon.”

Victor squeezed that small hand. “This is where the medics work. Someone should be back soon that can find her. But I’ll stay with you until you are safely in her care. How old are you, Yuu-chan?”

“Nine.”

Victor’s eyes widened. So young. No wonder he’s so scared. “Do you know about alphas and omegas?”

He nodded and then made a face. “My sister is omega. She hides in her room sometimes and makes gross noises. Mom makes me go away and  _ respect her privacy _ .” He mimicked the last phrase causing Victor to smile.

“True. Privacy is important later. But sometimes we present early and our bodies start making the changes.” He studied the little boy for a moment before easing Yuuri into the truth. “I think you are presenting as an omega.”

Yuuri hugged himself, his breathing becoming rapid as he looked around the room anxiously. “I’m not ready to make a baby!”

_ Of course not. You’re still a baby yourself. _ “That comes later,” Victor reassured him. “Bodies have to do a lot to get ready for babies.”

“I’m scared, V-vic-chan.” The little boy crawled into his lap. And well, that nickname was cute. Victor held him close, his own time growing short. He began going through his thoughts.  _ I have to keep him safe.  _ Rocking him back and forth, he felt that small hand fist into his shirt. Those big brown eyes were growing heavy and Victor needed...he needed someplace quiet, isolated. Just beyond the medics room was an office. He carried the sleeping boy into that room. A sofa sat along one wall. Victor situated the little boy between the back of the sofa and his own small form, wrapping them both in his Russian team jacket. Yuuri grabbed hold of his scarf and held onto it. And then darkness took over him...and he slept, Yuuri held securely in his embrace.

* * *

  
  


“We found your skater, Coach Feltsman. However, he seems to have attached himself to a child,” the ISU official informed the old coach.

_ Of all the times to present, Vitya had to do so with drama.  _ Releasing a long-suffering sigh, he followed the official to the room in question.

“The medic cleaning up the room found them in the office next over. I suspect he was waiting for help and it didn’t come in time.” He opened the door to the office.

Yakov studied his charge and the younger boy in his arms. “Do we know who he is?”

“There is no identification. I thought you might prefer to deal with this...situation.”

“Situation?”

“Well, sir, it’s a very rare occurrence in this modern age but the two of them are very much cocooned.”

The coach frowned towards the two children, Victor’s arms wrapped protectively around the child, both sound asleep. “The boy is but a child. Are you suggesting that he is presenting?”

“The medic has verified it...although it proved difficult. Your skater growled at him as he tried to approach. He is protecting the child.”

_ Drama _ . Victor had always been dramatic. “Well, we need to find out who is responsible for the child. They are probably panicked at this point.”

* * *

  
  


Minako rarely cried. However, she was past tears now as panic settled into her bones.  _ Hiroko trusted him in my care and he’s disappeared. Think, Minako, think! Where would he have gone?  _ She knew his panic attacks. Mari knew them better. Mari would know where he would hide. But the fifteen year old had to beg off of their trip due to her heat. She stopped another rink employee. “Have you seen a little boy? About nine? Please, I need help.”

The employee, a medic according to their badge, narrowed his eyes. “Maybe. We have someone. He is unable to tell us who he is.”

_ Oh, dear.  _ Yuuri’s panic attack must have incapacitated him. He’d been so excited and so anxious about possibly meeting Victor.

The medic led her through the maze of the skate complex and then into a small room that led to a smaller room. As she entered, her eyes widened at the sight of the older man, recognizing the well known coach, before spotting the tuft of brown hair peeking from the teen’s arms. “Yuuuriii!”

The boy didn’t stir but as Minako approached, the other men lunged in to stop her. She reached out only to pull back, now able to smell the presenting little boy in the teen’s arms. “This can’t be! He’s only nine!”

“Have others in his family presented early?”

She shook her head. “His sister only presented two years ago. She was to accompany us but then her heat came upon her. But Yuuri...he’s only a child.”

The medic cleared his throat before asserting, “Sometimes we present early when brought in the presence of our other half.”

Minako flicked her eyes towards the health care provider in disbelief. “Soulmates? That’s an old wife's tale.”

“Regardless, they are cocooned. We cannot move them until the presentation period has passed. All we can do is wait.”

She lifted her eyes towards the coach. “What do you say about this?”

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “It appears Vitya was seeking to bring the child to safety. However, as you know, a freshly presented omega could be in danger...to the wrong sort. And one so young...”

Minako knew, but this. How would she explain this to Hiroko? She was always protective of her baby boy. More so than Mari. Mari was always so strong, independent. Yuuri was independent as well, but anxious. His anxiety would send him into hiding. Mari understood him best. She always managed to find him.

“I’ll contact his mother. I’m his dance coach, Okukawa Minako. He’s like a nephew to me and I brought him here to see…” She paused to study the teen wrapped around her charge. “Well, to see him. Yuuri has just started to skate and was excited when he learned Victor would be in Fukuoka.”

Yakov held out a hand, imploring her to stay. He took off his hat, trading it between nervous hands. “Vitya is a good boy, madame. He would only want to keep him safe. Please, make that clear to this boy’s family. We will follow you home after he awakens to see how his family would like to handle the matter.”

Minako sighed, turning back to the pair.  _ So young. Both are just babies, really.  _ “Will you excuse me while I step out and make the call?”

* * *

  
  


Hiroko dried her hands on the towel wrapped around her waist like an apron at the insistent ringing of the phone. Yuuri’s probably talked Minako into another adventure.  _ That boy _ . Answering the phone, she sang out, “What has Yuuri dragged you into now, Mina-chan?”

“Hi-chan, there’s been a little...incident with Yuuri.”

“Incident?” Hiroko was instantly alert. “Has something happened to my son? Did he have another panic attack?”

“It’s possible...however, with good cause. It appears...Yuuri has had the unfortunate luck of...presenting while at the skating facility...as an omega as we suspected.”

Hiroko’s eyes widened. “Is he okay?”

“He’s safe, although the situation is...ummm...delicate. Apparently, another young man presented at the same time...as an alpha. They are currently...cocooned together.”

“That young man took advantage of my baby?!!” Hiroko’s voice rose with each word.

“Oh, no no no...they are merely sleeping,” Minako quickly placated her friend. “The other boy isn’t in a rut. I’m sure that is still a while off. He’s also quite young.”

Down the line Hiroko was desperately trying to make sense of this situation. Her son was safe, but until she could see him, hold him, and smell him herself she wouldn’t rest easily. “Then I don’t understand. What is this...cocoon?”

Minako had to confess she knew little of this. “It’s...a way to protect the boy. His coach assures me that the teen would only want to keep him safe.”

The mother’s voice was breaking, “My Yuuri is so innocent! He wouldn’t know any better.”

“No, he wouldn’t. But then I don’t think the other boy would either. I see no signs of malicious intent. For now, we all wait for them to wake up. I’ve been informed by the medical professional that it would be harmful to separate them and could cause too much stress on both of them.”

“You will stay with them the entire time?”

“Of course. I’ll call as I learn more.”

As the call disconnected, Hiroko fretted. Finally, she called her husband. “Toshiya. Our Yuuri…” As the story spilled out of her, the older man wrapped her in his arms. They couldn’t go anywhere. Their daughter was in the midst of her own heat and they had to remain to protect her.

“We’ll trust Minako to see to him,” her mate determined quietly. A beta in a home full of omegas with their wild and temperate spirits, he was used to being the voice of reason, the calming influence in the house. His wife rested her head on his shoulder as he soothed her.

* * *

  
  
  


Yuuri’s eyes opened first, shifting to look around with wide cinnamon brown eyes. Victor responded to the younger boy’s awakening, his own cerulean blue eyes blinking rapidly until they focused on the child in his arms. His lips parted in surprise, in awe. He didn’t know how to describe the feeling he felt. He slowly started to disentangle from the boy who tightened his hold on Victor. Turning, Victor spotted the adults. His coach raised an eyebrow, his face in a scowl. The Japanese woman looked fierce. He did receive some sympathetic looks from the others.  _ Well, fuck. _

With a shrug, he planted on his best smile and plunged in even as he juggled the boy still wrapped up around him. “Hi! I see you found us!”

“Viktor Vasyliovych Nikiforov! ” Yakov growled.

The teen winced, all three names were a certain sign of death. But he forced his smile towards the woman standing with her hand on her hip. “You must be Minako!”

“I am. Do you care to explain yourself?”

“Well...I...ummm...you see, I knew what was happening so I was looking for a safe place. That’s when I found Yuuri hiding in a corner. When I moved closer, I realized what was happening to him as well...and he’s so tiny. I couldn’t leave him and I needed a safe place as well. So we came to the medic station where I was able to get Yuuri to talk to me. Except, the medic never came and I...well, I didn’t have much time and neither did Yuuri.” He glanced around looking worried before returning his eyes to Minako. “I made sure he was safe. I didn’t...know what else to do.”

Minako sighed, exasperated, rubbing her temples in circles. Victor knew that look. Yakov gave it to him plenty of times. “Do you realize what you’ve done?”

The alpha teen looked from one to the other and mumbled, “I kept him safe.”

She groaned and muttered in three languages, two of which Victor spoke...French and English. The other was likely Japanese as it was the most prolific. Victor glanced at his coach a little afraid. His eyes read,  _ I messed up, didn’t I?  _ The coach dropped his eyes and shook his head.

“Vitya, I think we need to get you two back to the hotel where you can both clean up,” Yakov suggested. This seemed to snap Minako out of her rant and she went to take Yuuri only to startle as Victor’s arms tightened around him, the little omega curling into his arms. Assessing the situation, the old coach stated quietly, “It might be too soon for that.”

Yuuri hadn’t said a word, his large brown eyes looking from person to person as he held onto Victor. He whispered to the alpha, “Are we in trouble?”

Victor honestly didn’t know but he knew he wouldn’t do anything different. He protected the little omega to the best of his abilities no matter what anyone thought.

A car was provided and they were driven to the hotel. The coach eyed his student warily before suggesting gently, “Perhaps you can give him over to his caregiver so you can clean up.”

Victor looked down at the boy koalaed in his arms and reluctantly let him down. Yuuri held onto his hand as he found his feet and then looked up at him, chewing his bottom lip. Victor took in that small chapped pink appendage and felt something in his heart rattle. He realized now that he needed that space for a little clarity. He gently urged the little boy. “I’ll see you in a few minutes. Go with your teacher for now.”

Yuuri nodded, turning to Minako. However, he glanced back towards Victor as they walked towards the elevator.

* * *

  
  


Victor stood under the falling water trying to define what it was that he felt. It was...different. He already understood a little of sexual attraction and knew that wasn’t it and felt thankful. That would be gross. Yuuri was a child. Familial didn’t feel quite right, either. He lathered his hair up and then watched the suds wash down the drain near his feet. Finally, wrapped in a fluffy robe he reentered the room that he shared with his coach and dug out a change of clothes from his drawer.

“How long was I out, Coach?”

“A day and a half. Maybe a little longer,” the older man answered.

Victor lifted his eyes to the ceiling and groaned. “No wonder Yuuri’s teacher wants to kill me.”

“Something tells me she’s not the one to be worried about. We’ve got to go meet with the boy’s parents.”

Victor stilled before turning to his coach. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“You have...possibly imprinted on the boy.”

The skater furrowed his brow, “I-I didn’t...how?” He wasn’t even certain he understood his coach. This felt well beyond his sex-ed class.

Yakov sighed as he sat down next to his student, hat in hand. “Have you heard the term cocooning?” As Victor shook his head, the coach went on to explain. “You don’t hear of it much anymore. It hasn’t been done intentionally in a very long time. They used to use the practice to create early matches...mainly among nobility. But sometimes it does happen naturally...like with you and Yuuri. The problem is...cocooning leads to imprinting, or maybe scent bonding. No one knows for sure as it is out of practice.”

“I-I was just making sure he was safe!” Victor defended. “I-I didn’t know...I just followed my instincts.” He started to break down, he knew he wasn’t attracted to the child, he just knew he had to keep that person safe...something he would have done for anyone.

Yakov smiled patiently. “I know, Vitya. I’m not faulting you. However, now you are connected to that child, intentional or not...and we have to decide how to proceed.”

Victor studied his hands as he processed those words. Finally, those blue eyes looked up and he murmured, “That makes Yuuri my family. I don’t have any family. Not anymore.”

_ Oh no…  _ “Vitya,” the old coach warned.

But it was too late, Viktor wasn’t thinking romantically, he was hoping to find that happy family he had lost. “I know...and I think...I know...I want Yuuri to choose me. But...it’s been hard this last year...since they were killed.”

Yakov reached over and placed a hand on Victor’s shoulder giving it a squeeze. He had been there as Victor recovered slowly from his crippling grief, throwing himself into his skating. Both performances that season had been in tribute to them, finding healing in skating their favorite songs. Now...Victor was lonely. And Yakov worried he was going to be hurt, not knowing how to protect the boy.

A shy knock drew their attention followed by a firmer one. Yakov opened the door to reveal Yuuri and his teacher, the child shrinking back to hide behind the woman. “Come in, boy. Let’s get ready to decide what to do with you.”

Victor smiled as Yuuri ran to his side, crawling up to sit next to him, grabbing hold of his hand. “It’s going to be okay,” he reassured the child and then met Minako’s eyes, begging to hope.

She focused on the facts as she laid out their trip. “We can take a train to Yuuri’s home. It’s about an hour away. You want to stay away from the family portion. Yuuri’s sister is in heat. Well, possibly just out.”

Victor nodded, knowing Yuuri’s parents would be very protective of her daughter. “Do they...know?”

“I’ve told them what we know...but I have to admit. Hiroko, Yuuri’s mother...she’s not happy. I don’t know if she understands. Hell, I’m not sure I understand.”

Large eyes looked from one another because no one really knew what to expect.

* * *

  
  


Victor stood close to his coach as he faced Yuuri’s parents, the confusing voices crowding around him. He just wanted to do the right thing. Finally, Yuuri’s mother approached him, hands on hips. Victor took a deep breath and let it out.

Hiroko couldn’t believe the slender form in front of her.  _ He’s a child. _ It wasn’t the horror she had been expecting. While this was still a horrible situation it was slowly becoming less terrifying as she could see this Viktor wasn’t a predator. “You are but a boy. Why were you with my son?”

He could hear the accusation in her voice and fought the urge to shrink back. “I-I was trying to find a safe place like my teachers instructed.” He paused for a moment, “I was presenting early and I was scared. I knew I had to find a safe place and that’s when I found him. He was scared and alone. I knew I couldn’t leave him.”

Hiroko was happy to hear this, he had simply stepped in, taken care of her son and helped to deliver him to his home. And now he could leave. “I don’t know what this cocoon is but he is too young. He will not be your mate.”

“I-I don’t understand.” He looked up at his coach.

Yakov stepped forward holding out his hand cautiously. “I think we can both agree they are both too young for such decisions. However, if they are connected, imprinted…”

The mother was not to be swayed, cocooning and imprinting were things of myths that the old women cackled about in the baths. “Bah! They are children. Yuuri will forget. That one will move on. That is all.”

“Are you saying you don’t want any contact, madame?” Yakov seemed to be struggling with the absolute disregard of the situation.

“Hai! It is for the best. I keep Yuuri safe.”

Minako shrugged apologetically. As she followed them out, she handed Yakov her number. “I didn’t expect them to be so closed-minded to this situation. I...I don’t think it will be as simple as she believes.”

“I don’t either,” the old coach murmured as he sent his own number back to the ballet teacher. “Contact me if needed. As for the boy,” the coach’s eyes trailed towards the house and they could hear the child crying. He was having to restrain Victor with a squeeze on his shoulder from going back in. “We will leave soon for Russia but we can fly back if needed.”

Minako glanced back before meeting his eyes with a nod. “I’ll call.” And then they parted.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's two years later and our boys are dealing with the aftermath of cocooning, imprinting, and forced separation, Victor with full knowledge and memory, Yuuri with the ghost of a memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...you may have gotten a dead link initially because...big OOOPS!...I accidentally posted ch. 6 initially. Good thing I started to do a quick read through and was like, wait, that's not right!
> 
> So my plan was to put this up on Monday but it was ready and with it being back to school week, I figured I might bet too busy. So here we are. I greatly appreciate such a huge response to my first chapter and will be working through those comments and any received on this chapter during the week. Thank you so much for the support. This story is very special to me. (Aren't they all?)
> 
> Also, big thanks to BluSkates for her edits and for falling in love with another story. I know it makes it easier to lovingly go through the words and challenge me and help me to make it a better story. Thank you for adding more life to Makka. I'm sure our dog lovers will appreciate it greatly.
> 
> So happy reading! (Sorry, once more, for the false start!)

* * *

Yuuri woke that morning from another dream that left him drenched in sweat. He threw himself from the bed and sprinted down the stairs, banging on his mother’s door. They had to move his room upstairs so that it would be secure once he started having heats but at eleven, Yuuri was still very much a child.

“What is it, Yuu-chan?” his mother cooed softly as she smoothed his dampened hair.

He cuddled into her embrace, “It was just...the dream was so real, Okaachan.”

She hugged him close, soothing him as he rested his head on her shoulder. Her baby was growing so tall. “We always dream of those we admire.”

Yuuri frowned as he thought about it. Something felt wrong about what she said, but he brushed it off. “I guess...it’s just...sometimes it feels so real.”

“I think that young man would let you make your own choices,” she muttered.

Yuuri heard her, but didn’t understand what she meant. Instead he slowly nodded, pulling away. His steps taking him up the stairs were slow. Stretching out in his bed, he stared up at the poster tacked onto his ceiling, something his friend Takeshi helped him to accomplish while Yuuko cooed about how dreamy the silver-haired Russian teen was. At two years older, she would know these things. Still, some part of Yuuri felt like the older boy belonged to him.

“It’s just a stupid dream.” He huffed as he rolled over with a frown. He tried to quell the tears and hated that they came so easily but right now, he felt like a hole continued to grow inside of him, like a part of himself was missing.

* * *

  
  


Victor leaned against the boards lost in thought. Yakov knew that look. The blue eyes were looking at the row of seats without seeing them. They were unfocused and clearly looking off into the distance as his mind created a picture for him. Yakov knew that letting the boy ruminate would only hurt him further. He growled at the boy to get back to practice. With a sigh, Victor complied, his silver ponytail trailing behind him. The old coach expected the moping. It came almost in the same rhythm as Victor’s inquiries about the boy.

Instead of getting back to work he glided over, “Coach, have you heard anything?”

“Nothing yet.”

Victor sighed, and looked away, that loneliness settling into his features. Yakov hated it. It had been haunting him since Victor lost his family, and the slight spark after meeting the Katsuki’s all but died on the flight back to Russia after being so harshly rebuked. He could see Victor slowly falling into a depression and knew he had to do something. Finally, he made a decision. While the boy skated, he made a call to the local animal shelter. After several questions, he determined what he needed to do for the boy.

As practice ended, Victor walked out with his backpack surprised to see his coach still there. At fifteen, Victor usually jogged back to the dorm where many of the younger athletes lived. “Did you need to see me, Coach?”

“I thought you and I would take a drive.”

With a shrug, he followed Yakov out to the car. “Where are we going?”

“Let’s just say it’s a surprise.” He slapped that hideous, worn fedora on his balding head.

As he pulled up in front of the shelter, the coach turned to see Victor staring at the building with wide blue eyes. “I think you need someone to call your own. Since you can’t have your Yuuri...I thought a dog would be a more age appropriate companion.”

“Yes!” Excited blue eyes turned towards the coach. “Will they let me keep them at the dorm?”

“I’ve already made arrangements. Several have small pets. They’ve found that residents are happier with a pet.”

Victor bounced in his seat ready to meet his new friend. “Can we go now?”

The old coach nodded, a small grin slipping from his well-guarded gruff expression. “Of course.”

Inside, Victor’s eyes scanned the room when the door opened and the animal caretaker led out a hesitant poodle on a leash. “Hello, Victor. This little lady is a bit shy. We found her cowering behind some trash dumpsters and I think she was mistreated a little. However, she will be loyal and faithful to someone who loves her.”

Victor was down on his knees, reaching for the beautiful dog with hands opening and closing excitedly. With a squeaky, high-pitched voice, he called the dog to him. “Come here, Makkachin! Look at that beautiful girl!”

As the dog wagged her tail, she looked up at the attendant questioningly. “Go ahead. This is your new person,” she assured the poodle before letting go of her leash.

That was all of the encouragement she needed and soon she was in Victor’s arms and the boy was down on the floor laughing and hugging the poodle into his arms. The dog was generous with her kisses and they rolled together happily.

“I think we have a match,” the caretaker decided, her eyes sparkling. The coach had asked for a dog suitable for a high-strung, dramatic boy who was lonely. She had hoped he’d do well with this one.

* * *

  
  


The evening was late and usually Victor hated when the dorms quietened down. The silence seemed to scream his loneliness more than hearing the voices of his friends in the hall on their way out to clubs or work. However, now he had company. He didn’t have to be alone. Reaching for his phone, he opened up the picture he had of Yuuri. It was two years old but he never wavered in his attachment. Turning the screen towards the dog, he introduced the dog to his person. “This is my Yuuri. He’s four years younger than me and we’re not allowed to be together...but maybe one day, I will get to introduce you properly.”

The dog seemed to notice his melancholy and licked his phone. Victor made a face. “Gross, Makkachin!” That only served to encourage the dog to lick him and soon Victor was giggling before settling back and breathing in and out deeply. Staring up at his ceiling, he murmured, “Some of the older skaters think I should be omega. Do you think...what if Yuuri doesn’t want me? Maybe I’m a bad alpha and that’s why I was sent away.”

The dog looked at the boy, who unfortunately didn’t speak  _ dog _ , else she would have told him there was no way he was a bad alpha...he wasn’t capable of being a bad anything. All dogs have a talent to think the best in people, however this lady could tell that she had found the most loving person there was. And if she had to share Victor with anyone then this brown eyed boy should think himself very lucky. Makkachin licked Victor’s cheek before nuzzling into the boy’s hair and huffing. Victor’s eyes stung a little but he smiled, seeking out that happy feeling Makkachin provided. In the hollows of his soul, however, he could feel the tremor of Yuuri’s anxiety worrying away at him.

* * *

  
**Okukawa/ I see Victor has a dog now.**

**Yakov F/ He still struggles with his losses. Sometimes I think Yuuri was a greater loss than his parents.**

He paused, thinking over why his student would be so hurt over a person he barely knew.  _ It was the lost chance. He had happiness and a family dangled in front of him, and in his foolish heart he thought he could just jump into it. _

**Okukawa/ Yuuri doesn’t know that they are real. He’s so anxious and scared. I don’t know how to help him.**

**Yakov F/ Get the boy a dog. The vet recommended a poodle for Vitya. Good for the nerves.**

Across the Sea of Japan the former prima looked at her phone with a cocked eyebrow.  _ A dog? Well, he’s got to put that affectionate heart of his to use... _

**Okukawa/ I’ll try that. I just wish I could confirm what happened. His mother swore me to secrecy.**

**Yakov F/ And sometimes I just wish Vitya can forget.**

* * *

  
  


Yuuri’s eyes widened as the tiny poodle puppy crawled into his lap, all wiggly, his tail wags jiggling his entire body. “Are you sure it’s okay, Minako-sensei?”

“I talked to your mom already. A friend recommended him as a companion since you still have so many panic attacks.” She ruffled his hair. “At least now you will have a friend to keep you company until we find you. And maybe later, he can be trained to get help.” Yuuri let her pull him into a hug where she pressed a kiss into his hair. She understood Victor more than the Russian realized. She, too, had to find her family outside of herself...and for her, it was the Katsukis. She wanted that for the Russian boy...had hoped they would have embraced him. “So what are you going to name him?”

Yuuri hugged the puppy close and murmured, “Victor...well, I think I’ll call him Vicchan...but you know…”

Minako knew more than anyone and couldn’t help her bittersweet smile as she took a picture of the two of them together, sending it to the coach in secret.

**Okukawa/ I took your advice.**

Pausing she wasn’t sure if she should include the next text, but typed out the words and sent them anyway.  _ In for a penny, in for a pound. _

**Okukawa/ He named the puppy Victor. He calls him Vicchan but I think a part of him refuses to forget even if he doesn’t understand.**

**Yakov F/ Good, because this one never forgot.**

She studied the picture that came back to her of Victor hugging the larger poodle, his eyes staring off dreamily. Sighing, she tucked her phone away before clapping her hands. “Let’s go to the pet store and figure out what Vicchan needs before I take you home.”

* * *

  
  


Victor and Makkachin became inseparable, running to and from practice together, shopping together. Victor took her to classes twice a week so that she could learn how to behave. The trainer seemed open to helping Victor train her as an emotional support animal.

She helped. When Victor became melancholy, she’d nose her way into his lap and lick away his tears and snuffle into his hair until he started giggling. Still, he missed his mate and he needed more.

Victor laid back on the couch in the coach’s office, Makka curled up on a pillow the skater moved into the old man’s space. Yakov was really the closest thing to a parent he had and sometimes, he needed that extra time. Tossing a ball up in the air and catching it, he didn’t notice Makka following the movements intently. “Coach, I tried to call again.”

Yakov looked up from his papers. “The boy?”

“Yeah, my Yuuri. I just thought maybe I could help take care of him.”

Yakov worried that Victor would earn a nasty rebuke from the family, possibly even getting in trouble. “Vitya...you are much too young for those kinds of responsibilities,” the old coach chastised gently.

That silver head nodded. “That’s kind of what she said, too. Yuuri’s mom, that is. I just...it’s like a part of me is calling to him.”

Pulling off his reading glasses, the old man rubbed his eyes, before focusing on the teen across the office. “Vitya...I had hoped with Makka you’d be able to find some peace.”

Makka understood the problem perfectly. Humans, while wonderful, were inherently stupid creatures. She barked low, demanding Victor pay attention to her and stop focusing on whatever was upsetting him.

Victor rolled onto his side, noticing the poodle eying him and let the ball roll across the room, smiling as she scrambled after it. “She does, really.” Makka grabbed the ball, bringing it to him and dropping it as she climbed into the couch on him. She lay on his chest and nuzzled under his chin, this was her best trick to make him happier. Victor allowed the warmth of the poodle to settle him, and he was able to go on calmer. “I miss him. I need him. But...Makka keeps me from feeling alone. I-I’m glad Yuuri has a family that cares and watches after him.”

Yakov heard the slight jealousy in the voice, “He does...and you have your skate family.”

Scratching at Makka’s face, he shrugged. “I guess. It’s not the same though, not like having a mom or a dad or...a sister. I’d even settle for an aunt.”

Makka raised an eyebrow,  _ I’m right here. _

Yakov was beginning to feel guilty keeping a secret from his favorite student. He pulled the phone from his desk, opening it to the picture. Sighing, he called Victor over. “I don’t know if I should share this with you but I wasn’t told not to share it. This was sent to me by Yuuri’s teacher. I...suggested she get him a dog as well.”

Victor’s phone dinged and the skater sat up, his eyes wide with excitement. Looking at the picture, an older, leaner, taller Yuuri but still very much a boy hugging the tiny poodle. “Makka, look My Yuuri has a little brother for you!” Makka thought she could be happy with this other poodle. She could see the happiness it brought her human. Victor studied the picture. Yuuri was smiling and that tugged at Victor’s heart. He wanted the omega to be happy. But he could see a sadness deep in the boy’s eyes. Hugging the phone to his heart, he whispered, “Thanks, Coach.”

* * *

  
  


Yuuri and Yuuko had learned that Victor got a poodle almost at the same time. Yuuko, a hopeful romantic,even suggested that it was a sign. Yuuri’s eyes widened and he hugged the magazine picture they had found of the older skater, something warm and fluttery in his heart.

Later, he showed the picture to his mother and teacher. Hiroko gave Minako a look and the ballet teacher shrugged. “What a coincidence!” Minako exclaimed.

Yuuri giggled. “I know! Wouldn’t it be crazy if we were...I don’t know...soulmates?”

Hiroko violently coughed out her tea, hacking on the liquid. Yuuri quickly ran up to her, patting her back.

“Are you okay, Okaasan?”

She waved at him and settled back into her chair. Finally catching her breath, she answered, “I’ll be fine, sweetheart.” She laughed nervously, running her hand over the back of her neck. “Soulmates. Whatever put such a silly thought in your head?”

Yuuri pulled back and shrugged, his fingers now skating a routine through the dust on the outdoor furnishings. “I just...sometimes I think about him a lot.” He felt a chill run through him and looked at his dancing and skating coach worried. “Is that bad?”

“Of course not,” Minako declared, glancing at her friend through the corner of her eyes, daring her to contradict those words.

Hiroko huffed but didn’t reply at first. Finally, she stated, “It’s a silly old fashioned idea. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up for a dream. You are worth so much more than some silly fantasy.”

Yuuri tilted his head to one side as he considered her words. “It’s not like I  _ expect  _ him to think of me. He doesn’t even know me. But...I wouldn’t mind being able to skate well enough for him to see me.” The little omega shrugged. “I probably wouldn’t be good enough.”

Hiroko reached out to her son, “You are good enough for everyone to see, with or without skating.”

Minako clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “Of course you’re good enough. You’ve been skating since you were eight and you are competing. Why wouldn’t you be good enough?”

Yuuri blushed, “I just...sometimes it seems hard to believe. And skating costs so much money.”

Hiroko studied her son thoughtfully before responding. “If you want to skate, we’ll find a way to make it happen.”

“Besides, as you improve, you’ll gain sponsors and better coaches,” Minako reassured him. “And...I may have a few contacts from when I danced. When you’re ready, I’ll call on them. If this is what you want?”

Yuuri’s eyes widened as he nodded emphatically. “Yes! I do...I want to skate so badly.”

“I want you to do this for yourself. Not for me, or Minako… and certainly not for some fantasy. So ask yourself, is this all for that boy?” Hiroko asked cautiously.

Yuuri shook his head. “That’s just a nice dream. I want to skate for  _ me _ . It makes  _ me  _ happy.”

She smiled approvingly. “Good. I want you to be happy more than anything.” She smiled as she watched her son dance away.

Minako leaned forward and murmured, “That  _ boy  _ isn’t the worst thing that could happen to him in the world.”

“That’s not the point. I’m not thinking of that boy, I’m thinking of mine. Yuuri should not be chained down by a connection he was too young to forge,” Hiroko answered, her voice hardening. “That  _ boy  _ contacted me again.”

Minako blinked. “What did he say?”

“That he still wants to look out for my Yuuri.” Hiroko swiped away the spilt tea, clearly annoyed.

Minako spoke cautiously, she could see her friend’s temper rising. “And you? How did you respond?”

She met her friend’s gaze but spoke in a manner that did not invite debate. “That he himself is a boy and that he needs to see to himself...and let Yuuri grow up on his own, unimpeded.”

Minako closed her eyes.  _ That poor boy.  _ “He has nobody, Hiroko-chan.”

Her best friend for as long as she could remember shrugged. “I can’t worry about that. I need to make sure my child finds life and love...safely and sanely. I don’t want him...either of them making a connection at such a young age that they are trapped and unhappy. Minako, what if you had to be with your first boyfriend for life?”

Minako actually gagged. “Okay, but all I’m asking is that you give Yuuri the chance to make that decision for himself.”

Hiroko shook her head, “If it’s so meant to be as you seem to think then it will have to make itself happen. I’m not helping fate.”

Minako worried. She worried about both of them. She’d watched Yuuri dance with the ghost of a memory, watched him talk to a boy in the mirror, pretending that Victor was there with him. And he didn’t know his dreams were real. And the other, reaching out to Yuuri, clinging to that connection, something that resembled family to him.

* * *

That night she texted Yakov.

**Okukawa/ How is Victor?**

**Yakov F/ How did you know?**

**Okukawa/ He called Yuuri’s mother. She told me.**

**Yakov F/ He’s lost.**

**Okukawa/ He needs a family. Someone to call his own. Before he starts filling that need with bad relationships and getting hurt.**

**Yakov F/ I know.**

* * *

  
  


The result of that small conversation came as a surprise as an unfamiliar text came across her phone.

**Unknown/ Hello? Is this Minako? This is Victor. Victor Nikiforov.**

She chuckled.  _ Of course _ . Yakov was desperate to save the boy in his care. Desperate enough to put him in touch with someone else who cared.

**Okukawa/ Hello, Victor. How may I help you?**

**Victor N/ I just need to know. Is he okay? His mother won’t answer. And sometimes I can feel him. He gets scared.**

**Okukawa/ He is fine. He has anxiety but right now, he’s dancing and happy.**

She glanced up at her student as he continued through a series of beautiful  [ _ fouettes _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZJNQaBAb0Q) .  _ Hiroko would kill me if she knew I did this. _ Recording the boy, she caught the series of spins. In the background rested Vicchan and her eyes widened as the boy, dizzy, laughed, falling to the floor, the dog bouncing over to him, licking his face. It was innocent and childlike. And it would tell Victor that Yuuri was indeed fine. Ending the video, she sent it to the boy.

**Victor N/ He’s so beautiful! Thank you! Thank you so much!**

Yes, Hiroko would definitely kill her. She now studied her student who was now drinking a bottle of water.  _ What do  _ you  _ want? _

  
  


* * *

  
  


Victor floated on cloud nine. Although his own pictures were up on twitter and facebook for anyone to see, his Yuuri was still quite sheltered. However, his new source would occasionally send a picture of Yuuri in all of his cuteness. And then he’d sometimes catch a video. Although Yuuri was sheltered, he learned Yuuri’s friend Yuuko wasn’t near as sheltered. In fact she was a media social butterfly. Every day was a litany of posts and best of all, she had a public account and hashtagged like a champion. And soon he found her social media feed and caught pictures and video of Yuuri, a window into his world.

But now Victor was fifteen, approaching sixteen, and he knew his first rut was near. He hated the feeling as the aches settled into his muscles. He asked Ivan about his first rut. He talked to Coach. While he was scared of his first rut, he knew the other alphas had gone through them and thankfully they had prepared him for what to expect. But he didn’t know how to handle the idea that his potential mate was still a child.

It was Pyotr that gave him an out. “Okay, so we are allowed to explore fantasies about other people. You might know who you want to be with, but at this point you aren’t feeling  _ that _ way about them. It is perfectly fine to imagine yourself with someone else.”

_ I know you’re the one that I want...I can’t explain it. I don’t know that I believe in soulmates. But...I do know we are imprinted on one another and that requires more than circumstances. That requires compatibility. _

He studied images of other skaters and dancers. A man, long and muscular with dark hair and cut features caught his imagination. He had seen Takeshi Honda skate at an exhibition a year ago and remembered thinking the man really knew how to use his body. Victor immediately began indulging on youtube videos of his early performances, even finding his performances early in seniors. Honda moved in time with the music in a way that most men were too scared to. There was a powerful sexuality in it. Soon the google search led to a few choice fanfics written about the skater and very...poetic descriptions of his body and what else he could do with that body. Victor found himself growing hotter as he read and his mind filled with images and desires of his own creation quickly. And as those thoughts brought further images, he began to explore his own body, began to seek pleasure from his own touch.

And he found release to the image of a dancer posing nude, dark hair slicked back. He breathed through his recovery and slowly made his way to the shower, washing the sweat away. He fell back onto his bed and opened the phone up to look at the picture of his Yuuri dancing. However, the smile faded as he realized that this wasn’t going to work. Yuuri was simply too young.

_ I can’t do this. Yuuri’s a kid and this feels wrong. I need another outlet. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all, don't be too mad at Hiroko. She has reasons for her response. I may not agree with them myself, but I also don't agree with criticizing someone's parenting unless the child is at risk.
> 
> Secondly, be mad at Minako if you choose. No, she should not have directly shared those pictures. The mom in me, the teacher in me...well, it's just not good form even if she thinks it's the right thing to do. But I also believe that Minako is too emotionally involved in their story and too empathetic with our Victor to not share those pictures. She comes from a place of love...but yeah, it was not the right thing to do. So...don't do this!
> 
> Finally, I hope you like the direction of this story, please comment below. I love to hear from you. I'm trying for a weekly post but it depends on my schedule (for writing) and BluSkates' schedule (for edits) and this is a crazy school year we are facing full of new obstacles. So if we skip a week here and there, be gentle with us. :) Thanks for subscribing, bookmarking, and sharing. I love new readers! And I greatly appreciate my diehard (dare I say fans?) continuing readers. I love your reliable support.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14 and 18, Yuuri is facing his first heat, Victor is faced with some of his recent choices (implied at the end of the previous chapter).
> 
> Implied underaged sex. Because it happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST of all...there is a Trigger Warning I want you to be aware of. It does not involve our main characters but it affects them and the things that go on around them.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING will be marked with *** plus explanation and ended the same. It is implied rape and forced bonding. It will explain a lot about some of the decisions taking place with our characters. NONE of the active characters have been raped or forced into a bond. However, I want you to take care of you. TRIGGER WARNING.

* * *

Victor rolled over and studied the current lover in his bed. The man was taller than Victor, a little more filled out. His hair was shorter, and dyed chestnut brown but roots of blond peeked through. There were crinkles at his lips, revealing a smoking habit he was trying to keep quiet from the skater. He enjoyed their time together last night, but was disappointed to see him still there in the morning. That happened too frequently. Victor happily brought someone home, but then morning broke and they wanted a conversation. Sometimes they were nice, sometimes condescending, but never were they Yuuri and that was the problem.

At eighteen, Victor had his own flat and had explored a number of lovers in his bed. There were more than he wanted to admit to himself, because none lasted very long. He would find something wrong. Sometimes he felt guilty and worried that he was essentially cheating on his mate. However, Yuuri didn’t know he existed...not like that...not as his mate. To Yuuri, he was just another skater.

And Yuuri was only fourteen.

“Masha, I need to head out to practice,” he murmured.

The man next to him grunted. Older. Always older. Victor shied away from the boys his age. Not that he didn’t have offers, he had plenty. The night after a grand prix competition last circuit, a Swiss skater Chris made some very suggestive offers while they played around with a bottle of champagne. Victor laughed but pushed away from him. Victor was flattered but ultimately a little repulsed, the age difference made him uncomfortable. Had they been 24 and 22 he might have taken the adventurous man with the hazel eyes up on his offer, but 17 and 15 was out of the question. Maybe later. Maybe when younger lovers were over the age of eighteen.

_ Eighteen...in four more years, you’ll be eighteen. _ In his last attempt to call Hiroko, she’d stated firmly that he shouldn’t approach Yuuri until he was eighteen. Would he then? Victor didn’t yet know. He wanted Yuuri...but he wanted Yuuri to want him for himself, not because of a quick decision he made to keep the boy safe. And yet that want didn’t make sense...would it even exist without that moment? Would they have found their way together at some point in time? Were they...soulmates?

Victor shuddered at the thought. He’d rejected it over and over again. Yet...a part of him remained incomplete.

Having showered and dressed, he rested his eyes on the lover. He’d picked him up the night before. He looked good while they danced under the club lights. Morning light held clarity. This man wouldn’t hold his interest long.

They never did.

They weren’t Yuuri.

  
  
  


Hiroko watched her son thoughtfully, the boy sitting with his sister who teased him about his “crush”. A pang of guilt rose up as she considered the lie between them. She quickly swallowed it down. That lie was protection, that lie kept him safe. Yuuri wouldn’t know the same regret she held in her heart.

Resting her eyes on her husband, she thought about her parents reaction to her choice. They disapproved of a beta for a son-in-law. She was an omega and if paired with an alpha, strong healthy children wouldn’t be a question, they would be a guarantee. And her parents were old fashioned, an alpha would provide for her, protect her...all the nonsense. For a while, before Toshiya came into her life, she had even agreed with their ideas. However, after losing her baby sister Hayami, she couldn’t look at an alpha in the same way again. “If only I had kept a better eye on her,” she muttered under her breath.

“What is it, petal?” Toshiya asked, he always seemed to have a sixth sense for her darker moods, finding ways to be near her for comfort or support when she needed it.

She smiled at him, hiding her worry. He was looking up at her as he knelt in a flower bed, his eyes warm and tender. The old man found refuge in his gardens and he often called Hiroko his little flower. When she asked him why one day, he shrugged, smiling his warmth, “You bloomed the day we met.”

“I guess that makes you my sunshine,” she had responded. Now, her eyes rested on him and it was as if he was looking into her heart and that made her uneasy. She didn’t want him to see the dark parts of her. “I was just thinking.”

“About Yuuri?”

She shook her head, “About her.”

Her husband’s expression gentled. He had helped her find herself again after she lost so much, after her parents blaming her for her sister. “Ah, I suppose it is close...to that day.”

She closed her eyes.  _ That must be it.  _ Every year as it drew close to the anniversary of her sister’s death, a heaviness settled into her chest. Turning to her son, she thought about the carefree boy he once was. Yuuri carried his own ghosts, something she never wanted for him.  _ Don’t let those ghosts take him away from me, _ she cried out to the gods.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri groaned as he felt the heat rising up in his body.  _ Pre-heat.  _ He couldn’t imagine what the real thing would feel like. He was more annoyed about having to take days out of practice than anything. “I have a competition coming up,” he whined.

Minako was no help. She simply laughed. “You’re nearly fifteen. It was bound to happen eventually.”

With a huff, the boy went up to his room.

He hated this room. Away from family, it was the easiest one for his father to make secure. He got it. Japanese architecture wasn’t famous for privacy or security. Paper walls wouldn’t keep guests from nosing about. As he opened the door off of the landing, he looked inside the cavernous space. His own bathroom, an open room that had once been set aside for banquets before the new addition, and his bedroom. He had lots of closets, though, and plenty of space to hang even more posters of Victor. Minako even helped him install a ballet bar in the banquet room.

Opening the door to his bedroom, he could already see the signs of a nest in the tangled mess of sheets and hoodies on his bed. He’d hoped he wouldn’t be a nester but apparently fate decided to laugh at that notion as well. He nested when he was anxious, when he felt cozy, when he thought about Victor, when he cuddled Vicchan...and at the moment, this nest wasn’t adequate. With a groan, he started to tear it apart. He needed something...more.

Tucked away in his closet, he had a treasure. He didn’t know where it came from but he found it in his suitcase when he started packing for a competition a few years back. What was he...eleven? Even then, he didn’t know the significance. A scarf. He couldn’t place the scent...just that it meant home. That was what he needed now in his nest. Finding it folded carefully in a plastic ziploc bag, he slipped it out of its safe place and brought it to his nose, breathing in the scent.

_ I know you by your scent even if I don’t know your face. _

He hated the feeling that he’d forgotten someone significant in his past but it tugged at him and made him anxious at the thought. At least he now had Vicchan. Minako had helped him find classes to certify the poodle as a psychological support animal. Even now, Vicchan was crawling up into his lap and licking his hand. Most saw a poodle begging for attention. Yuuri knew the dog was seeking his attention to get him out of his head. “Thanks, Vicchan. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He hugged the wiggly poodle and found his smile.

Looking around his room, he knew he dreaded the idea of being cut off from everyone. It was for his safety. He knew this. But he wished he could have a room down by his sister.

As if sensing his mood, he heard a knock and then Mari’s voice entering the expanse. “Yuuri, are you up here?”

“Yes, come on in,” he invited.

She walked through and peeked into his room. “You okay, kid?”

He shrugged. “I...don’t know what to do. It’s not like I’m really into all that.”

Mari blushed but didn’t shy away. “You know, they have that transition kit for you. It has the...toys.”

Yuuri rubbed the back of his neck as he turned away.  _ God, this is awkward.  _ “I don’t...that’s not what I mean. I just...the idea of being with someone...then the idea of it just being myself. It’s awkward.”

“Just think about him,” she suggested, nodding towards Yuuri’s latest poster.

Yuuri’s eyes went wide. “No nono no no. I-I can’t.”

She raised an eyebrow, while the slender silver haired man wasn’t her type she had to admit he was cute. “Why not? He’s a celebrity. I’m sure you’re not the only one getting off on his image.”

Yuuri felt sick at that thought, hugging himself. He didn’t like to think about other people with Victor. He knew Victor had others. He always moved past those gossip magazines and focused on the sports magazines. Except...that one time. A buzzfeed article from Victor’s short lived time in Las Vegas at a training camp and the wild parties he had there. The article was little more than a who-fucked-who catalogue and Victor was the star. Yuuri wasn’t bothered by the sex...well, okay, yeah he was majorly bothered by the sex, but it was Victor’s face in the pictures. Victor’s expression in each photo, many taken by hangers-on and friend-of-a-friend companions, was strained. Everything looked that way with him. He looked...insincere. Victor was genuine with his fans and typically friendly with the press but with his...boyfriends? He looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there.

“I-I’m okay. We can talk about something else now.”

She smirked and ruffled his hair. “Whatever, baby brother.”

Yuuri made a face and turned back to his nest. He began to reorganize the material when his sister shook her head and wrinkled her nose.. It was only then that he realized the scarf had dislodged.

“Yuuri? Do you have something from an alpha in here?” Her voice teased as she began looking around his room.

Yuuri backed up to block her from the evidence. “N-no?”

“Yuuri! You’ve got a boyfriend! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I-I don’t want to talk about it,” he rushed, ushering her out of the room even as she craned to look over his shoulder. Once his space was secured, he ran back to his room and retrieved the treasure, holding it to his nose. He felt himself calm down immediately.

* * *

  
  


Minako drummed the box nervously. It was much nicer than the one she picked up for Mari. But Victor had insisted Yuuri have what he needed. She chewed her lip guiltily as she considered that she was conspiring with an eighteen year old. Not that she did. She turned down his offer to pay for the upgrade. Still, she picked up the upgrade anyway. Something about this felt wrong...but then again, Yuuri...the way he danced as if he was looking for his missing half. Perhaps that was where Victor was at that moment...missing his other half.

Arriving at the house, she sang up the stairs, “Yuuuuuriiiii, I have a surprise for you!”

She could hear Yuuri groan and couldn’t help the smirk on her lips. Regardless of the grade of this gift, she knew that he felt as awkward about it as Mari when she received hers with an “uh, thanks” before running to her room and hiding it.

Yuuri didn’t disappoint. He peeked out of his room and winced when he spotted _ the box _ . To help parents who did not want to go with their teens to pick out their first toys, companies created transition kits for alphas and omegas. This one, the deluxe edition, held several high grade toys that would see Yuuri into his adulthood.

Mari, now twenty-one, leaned against the door facing watching the exchange. “Ah, why’s it black? Mine was that horrible hot pink!”

“It’s the boy’s version,” Minako quickly covered.

She frowned as she looked closer. “It’s bigger, too.”

“He’s a male omega, their stuff is...bigger.”

Mari stifled a laugh and Yuuri honestly looked like he would die.

“Besides, they didn’t have the comparable one to yours...six years and all...so I had to upgrade.” Okay, that was a lousy lie and Mari had a built-in bullshit detector.

“Hmmm,” she answered quietly, watching her very red-faced brother ducking down out of sight. “Oh, no...I had to go through this and you’re not getting out of it either. Come. Get. Your. Box.”

And then came the whine. “Maaariiii-neechan!”

“Box. Now.”

With a huff, Yuuri edged down the stairs and took the box only to dash back up the stairs. Minako caught Mari’s smirk, however, and knew she didn’t really care. Of course. She was crazy about her brother. She would have donated to the box upgrade.

“Well...I guess that’s done. What do you have to drink?”

Mari snorted and waved her on into the house.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuuri played with his food, a frown on his face. He hated the nausea he was dealing with. Mari ate everything in sight as she prepared for her heat. Yuuri couldn’t handle anything. His mother merely hummed and declared, “Everyone has their own rhythm.”

He still worried and as he helped his father with one of the hot springs, he asked him, “Is it going to be weird?”

“Weird how?”

“I mean...I still feel like a kid. I don’t think I’m ready for this.” He twirled his hair around his finger and then tugged at it until his father gently took them and straightened his fingers out. From his kneeling position, Yuuri could see how his father carried his age.

“Your mother always struggled with being an omega. It felt so personal and invasive. Perhaps that’s why she chose to mate with a beta such as myself. You will find your way, Yuuri. There is no wrong way to do this...there is only your way.”

“I just...it feels so weird. And then there is...that box.”

“And if you aren’t ready to deal with what’s in that box, it’s okay. You can explore those things in time.” The father looked at his son, “But if you are not ready to use those items, that is alright as well. You can walk into this, or run, or stand still.”

Yuuri felt a little better, of the entire family, his father, the beta seemed the best to understand him. “The way Minako brought it over with all of that ceremony made it seem like it was expected.”

“Omegas have existed long before those boxes.” Toshiya looked at his son, “Omegas, Alphas, all of that existed for years and years before our society started selling items for them on the internet and those people all got along fine without them. They got along without the stereotypes and traditions forced on them. They had to find their own way. You can still find your own way.”

Yuuri swallowed and nodded. Somehow his father made everything make more sense. “Thank you, Otousan.”

* * *

  
  


Upstairs in his room, Yuuri slowly lifted off the lid to the box. The things inside looked scary...even with the instructions which were... _ OH MY GOD! They are illustrated!  _ Yuuri quickly snapped that lid back in place. “I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do this.”

Vicchan noticed his change of breathing and crawled into his lap, licking his chin. Sniffing, he hugged the poodle close. “It’s supposed to be...natural. But I’m not ready. Why doesn’t my body know that?”

Vicchan licked up at his face even as Yuuri curled up around him. The omega lifted his chin so he could catch a whiff of the scarf.  _ I know you. How do I know you? Who are you? _ Then with a shiver, his eyes rested on Victor’s latest poster.  _ I wish you were here. _ He didn’t know if he was talking to the one in the poster or the one belonging to the scarf but then he giggled.  _ Not like that. I just...think you’d understand. _

* * *

* * *

******trigger warning: Implied sexual assault. Not involving Yuuri. Or Victor. ******

  
  


Minako sat in the garden with her best friend. Maybe now, she would relent. At least part of the way. “You know, with Yuuri’s heat, he’s practically an adult,” she began.

“Nope, we’ll stop that right there. He’s 14.” Hiroko shook her head. “We thought the same with my sister, when she came to visit me in Fukuoka. That she was an adult. We were wrong.”

“Hi-chan,” Minako began, her voice gentling. “Bad things happen.”

Her oldest friend pursed her lips, eyes tilted down to the cup of tea before her. “This...this was my fault. I didn’t protect her.”

Minako reached across the table to touch Hiroko’s hand lightly, “This was not your fault. You didn’t hurt your sister, or fail to protect her. Yami...he was your boyfriend. He blindsided you. He made you think you could trust him.”

Hiroko broke, the sobs wracking her as she remembered the awful day. Hindsight is 20/20 and it’s also the worst torture known to humanity. All the little hints that only added up too late. Yumi favoring her sister, buying her little presents, telling her jokes that bordered on dirty but seemed safe enough. He could chide Hiroko,  _ don’t treat her like a kid, she’s our friend. _ Slowly watching them grow close and thinking... _ how did I ever fool myself like this? _ ...that this was all him practicing as a father figure for the children she imagined with him.

Then, the worst day, coming home to the horror, the muffled screams of panic and pain. She felt her hand freezing cold against the hot porcelain of the teacup. “I shouldn’t have left them alone. But I was such a weak omega...”

Minako shook her head, “No, he shouldn’t have taken advantage of a child. You became a lioness. I remembered standing there with you, watching you scream him down, he almost fell to his knees the way you dominated the room. He ran from you, then we took her to the hospital.”

She shook her head, caught up in that memory. “I...I had already lost her.” The medical technicians were able to stitch her back together. The little body was badly hurt, and while she could heal the tearing of her skin, it was the scars on her soul that worsened with time. The sixteen-year-old was left with a constant tie to that day in the worst way, the partial bond bitten into her neck healed, but the scent gland punctured and even years afterward she could catch a whiff of his memories, his feelings. Always bad.

Hiroko sighed thinking of her sister, who held onto her thinning life for three years before the end finally, horrifically came crashing down. “And then...she was truly gone.” No note, the body was the note. Their mother found the little body, no note, the body was the note. And then she turned on her remaining daughter, the one she had secretly blamed for years, unleashing the rage she had kept seething behind her teeth, now sharpened to bite and chase away her last child. Hiroko never fought, never defended herself, never begged for forgiveness. She took it. She collected all the abuse and blame from her mother, her aunts, the friends the family had. They were only repeating what her heart had said with every beat for three years.  _ You did this _ . From that point, she swore off alphas. She hadn’t been able to see the wolf’s eyes in his face, the hunter that lurked in all alpha spirits. And knew the only way to remain safe was to be alone, which was all she deserved.

Then one day, she was walking home from the store. It had rained earlier and the sun was battling its way through clouds. She looked up at it and remembered a song her sister had sung as a child. The memory brought a smile to her lips, something she hadn’t done in a long time. Next to her she heard a man chuckle.

Looking down she saw two beautiful brown eyes, like honey, deep and rich.

“Sorry, it’s just, you looked like a sunflower just then, turning to the light.”

She brushed him off, walking away without responding. But he wasn’t to be deterred. Everyday he made sure to pass her, every day a flower, until finally the coldness in her thawed and she warmed to this funny little man. He ran an inn with his family. He liked to garden and he loved football. He accepted her as the broken omega she was, however he never saw her as anything other than strength personified. And best of all, he was a beta.

  
  


*****end trigger warning*****

* * *

* * *

  
  


Victor felt Yuuri’s nerves, and wished he could send some kind of reassurance back in reply. But their connection wasn’t like that. Strong emotions passed through to the other side but no replies. Yuuri’s first heat...it was early, like everything in Yuuri’s life.  _ Are you scared? You were so scared that night we met. I don’t want you to be scared. _

Patting the bed, he was glad for tonight’s bedmate. Makkachin didn’t leave unwanted scents in his bed. He’d spent the evening laundering the sheets and removing anything that smelled like... _ what was his name? Masha? God, what a mistake!  _ It had taken a week to dislodge himself from that loser.

_ I should just wait for you. _

Closing his eyes, he wrapped an arm around Makkachin, nuzzling into his fur.  _ Four more years. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written and rewritten. I was going to introduce what happened to Hiroko's sister later but in the rewrite, I realized it belonged here, that the back story needed to be threaded through the story. Hiroko and Minako were both in Fukuoka together, Hiroko in University, Minako in dance. Minako supported her friend through this dark time. They drew closer together because of it and this is why Minako came back to Hasetsu when her world crashed in burned. Hiroko would be there for her just as well.
> 
> So much thanks for BluSkates who helped me to tell this back story and made this chapter more what I wanted. Also, I really don't want Victor to come off as creepy. So she's helping me watch out for that. 
> 
> Remember, I do believe in happy endings. I also know that sometimes those happy endings are hard fought. So keep with me on this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri heads off to college and Victor has to decide his next move as Yuuri approaches 18.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! What a week! First full week of school down, and I think 35 more to go? We're still in class but COVID is real. So we'll see when the powers that be decide otherwise. 
> 
> Enough of all that, a bit of Mina backstory in this one to look forward to. And Victor has to make a decision.
> 
> Thanks to BluSkates for her beautiful edits.

* * *

Yuuri skated in the hush of the rink the rays of sunlight just starting to appear through the windows as the sky woke a few hours after he had. So many decisions were before him and he didn’t know what to do, where to go. He just knew he wanted to skate. But to continue to do that, he needed to leave home. And that terrified him. No Mari to find him when he got lost. No Minako who would come into the night while he skated or danced away his nerves. No Okaasan to listen to his nightmares or Otousan to talk him through his worries. But when he focused on what he wanted, and not what he would be without, he felt he was headed to America. Detroit. Minako had a friend who wanted to coach him. Not because they were friends but because he thought Yuuri had potential.

_ I’m seventeen! I should be more emotionally ready than this. _ Others in his small town were heading out to university, or to their own lives, away from home. He knew it was something that many his age were anticipating, rejoicing at the freedom. However he failed to see the excitement. Instead he still felt like a nine-year-old little boy hiding in a corner. That brought memories of dreams, thoughts of a silver haired boy holding onto him while he was afraid.  _ I wish I knew if these were real or imagined. Mom says you’re imagined. I don’t think Minako agrees. _

He thought of the scarf, now more infused with his own scent than another’s, he wore it like he was trying to hold someone close.  _ Who are you? _

The obvious answer seemed too ludicrous to consider. Yuuri blushed, embarrassed that he would even think it and thankful no one could read his mind. Why would a major figure in skating think of him? No, it was a childhood spent surrounded by his posters.  _ I’ve built him up, made him into something, created an imagining. _

_ But...you are the ghost dancing in my dreams. _

Yuuri exited the ice to head home. Sometimes he had to remind himself that his whole life didn’t exist on the ice. Entering the house he heard his mother call out to him.

“Yuuri, you need to get ready for the ceremony.”

He knew that...and it wasn’t that he didn’t want to go, or that he regretted his decision. It was just that his entire future was opening up before him, and it was very overwhelming.  _ I’m graduating. I’m finished with high school and moving forward...to Detroit...in America. And I’m scared.  _ He looked at his mother smiling as she went back to work, content that he was on his way.  _ I wish I could talk to you about it. I want to tell you about everything I’m anticipating, good, bad, and ridiculous. I can’t tell you that because you have such a hard time letting me go but I’m scared. _

He sat on his bed focusing on tying his tie when he heard his sister leaning against his door, the old wood creaking in response. He looked up and huffed. “They won’t understand.”

“They always understand,” she responded, leaving the door to kneel in front of him. She undid the mess he created in his nerves and began redoing the tie. “You have to tell them.”

He stood still as his sister fixed the tie, “It’s so far away. They are thinking I’ll find a coach somewhere closer. In Fukuoka or someplace like that.”

She cocked an eyebrow, shaking her head, “But I think you need to go somewhere far away. Somewhere where you can become Yuuri, and not the son of Hiroko and Toshiya. Somewhere where you can learn to be your own person.”

He huffed once more. “What if that person freaks out and can’t handle the real world?”

With a gentle tug she pushed the windsor knot up to perfection and stood back, “I believe you are much stronger than you give yourself credit. I think you know this deep inside.”

He looked down, “I wish...I could take Vicchan.”

She tousled his hair. “We shall see. I’ll have Minako-sensei to see if her friend can find you a place that allows pets. Shouldn’t be too hard, Americans love their pets.”

Yuuri smiled at her in relief. Soon, they were headed down. Graduation. A party. And at some point, he had to tell his parents that he decided where he would be going.

* * *

  
  


Minako still felt heat on her cheeks from the last call to Celestino. Not that he said anything heated, just every time they met, every time they talked, she still felt the residual heat of before. She blinked away the tears of past pain. “I’m okay...I’m okay,” she repeated, clutching her shirt over her heart.

A lifetime ago, she remembered falling into him. He was handsome, charming, educated, everything she found attractive. And he was just so damned hot. She let herself go, dropped down her guard. Choreographing for one of his skaters, she spent way too much time with him. He recognized a lot of the influences she brought into the show for the skater, and that impressed the hell out of her. Soon the little moments for chatting turned to flirting turned to quick touches. Then they kissed and it was like floodgates burst. They did so much more than kiss. Then reality slammed back in.

“If only you hadn’t been married.” She knew it at the time. She just chose to ignore it. She could not ignore the pain of meeting his wife and daughter. The scandal that followed turned out to be too much. She had to leave.

Fleeing back to her hometown, she took over the property her father left to her, the only good thing he did for her. She revived the bar, built up the studio, restored the apartments over the top. But the claws of her father’s vices sank into her. Even now she itched for a drink. Alcohol proved her only consistent company and it only dulled the pain, never truly deadening it.

* * *

  
  


“America! It’s so far away!” Hiroko shook her head in disagreement. “You are too young for such things. Americans, they will take advantage of you.”

Yuuri hated when she was like this. He wasn’t a child after all. “I can handle myself,” he stated stubbornly.

“You are only a boy and an omega!”

“You are an omega,” he argued back.

“And I’ve stayed here where it’s safe.” She huffed. “You will be hurt.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “Maybe...but I will learn. You can’t shelter me forever. It’s time that I know about life.”

Her eyes narrowed, turning suspicious, “Mina-chan fills your head with romantic ideas,” she argued.

He snorted at that. If anything, Minako was jaded, embittered from the world. She came home once she had too much of it. And maybe he would do the same but on his own terms. “I’m not looking for romance, Okaasan. I’m going to skate and go to university.”

She folded her hands over her chest, “And study what?”

“Not business. You already have one of those.” He challenged her tone with one of his own. “I...want to figure out my passions and dreams on my own. Isn’t that what you want for me?”

He peeked down in her face and caught that little smile. “I suppose. You are a smart boy. You should go to school and dream,” she determined.

His father was easier. “Is this what you want?”

“Yes, Otousan,” he answered.

He nodded, pouring a cup of sake for himself and one for Yuuri. “Then we drink and celebrate. You are growing up, my son.”

Yuuri laughed warmly, accepting the small cup from his father. He stopped after one drink and left his father to go upstairs to his room after saying good night. It had been a long emotional day.

Sitting on his bed, he looked up to see his sister once more leaning on his door. “See, it wasn’t so bad.”

“Okaasan took it harder,” Yuuri answered.

Mari smirked, “Of course she did. Now, when do you leave?”

“Coach wants me to come in two weeks to lay out my choreography, to find an apartment, to finish my college enrollment. Then I start there in August.”

“I want to go with you while you look for an apartment,” she determined. “I’ve got to look out for my baby brother for a little longer.”

He smiled, a small laugh huffed out but his eyes held such affection for his sister. “I would like that.”

* * *

Two best friends stared at the sun setting on the beach in front of them. Both Yuuri and Mari were in Detroit setting up his new apartment leaving them to their thoughts. Minako and Hiroko had studied the pictures of the apartment together. It was in a dorm restricted to omegas. Mama Hiroko approved. And it was an apartment with a kitchen and living space, not just a bedroom. Located within an easy walk to campus, studio, and rink, Minako was satisfied. Of course, Mari had one more thing up her sleeve, something that all three women pitched in to make happen. Yuuri would truly be safer and more independent with his own transportation. So they were shopping for a car.

“I worry,” Hiroko fussed.

Minako hummed. “Me, too. Yuuri is very stubborn...much like his mother.” She peeked over at her friend with a warm smile. “He’s much stronger than you give him credit for.”

The other omega sighed, leaning back to look at the seagulls flying up above. “I know...but I don’t know.”

The prima considered her best friend. Perhaps it was time to broach the subject once more. “You should tell him the truth.”

“No. He’s just moving out in the world to become his own man, and you want to give him something that will only prevent that from happening?” She shook her head.

Minako sighed, “He’s bound to find out sooner or later. You want to be the one that tells him, else he’ll feel betrayed by you.”

The mother looked at her hands, much the way her son does when nervous. “I worry about when that boy tells him. He won’t come home once it’s done.”

“He will if you talk to him. You need to tell him everything, Hi-chan. He can handle it.”

She hugged herself, leaning forward. “I-I can’t. I can’t talk about it...and...he won’t understand.”

Minako sighed, lying back, her dark sunglasses in place as she stared up into the blue dome. “I think you underestimate him. He’s...there are no words to describe him. He’s going to take the world by storm.”

Hiroko smiled at those final words. “He most certainly is.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Victor watched Yuuri skate, climbing through the Challenger series as he debuted into his seniors. He was in Detroit. On his own. Attending university. He thought back towards his promise to Yuuri’s mother.  _ Wait until he’s eighteen.  _ Yuuri turned eighteen six days ago and Victor realized he wouldn’t call him.  _ Our paths will cross...one day. We have time. This is your life, your dreams you’re creating. _

“Vitya, you should meet this boy…” Dmitry began and Victor laughed.

Victor shook his head. The waiting had taken its toll on him. Something of the magic that they shared had dulled and Victor now worried they would not work together. What if he wasn’t good enough? “I’m good, thank you. I already know what I want.” He met Ivan’s eyes beyond the shoulder of his mate. The older alpha lifted his glass in toast. Victor reciprocated before swallowing it back. He would wait and hope. No one else would satisfy him.

It was easier now. He was a man and his friends, older alphas who didn’t quite know what to do with this younger skate sibling who didn’t quite fit the mould, they now got him. Vitya was Vitya, a strong alpha who defined his identity on his own terms. Those who underestimated him regretted it. Victor could eviscerate another with words alone, rarely calling forth his alpha traits. When he did, there was hell to pay. Both Pyotr and Ivan got him, knew about Yuuri but let him handle the matter on his terms. Dmitry and Georgi were romantics at heart, both omega, and both dear to him. Katya, Pyotr’s beta sister often came to him to talk about her alpha younger sister Mila and Mila laughed and danced and brought cheer into the room. It took him a long time to realize he had a family, brothers and sisters, alphas, omegas, and betas who all were there for him. Sometimes they gave him bad advice. He was sure he had done the same. But it all came from a place of love. He realized now that Hiroko’s words were also from a place of love for her son. He turned them around in his mind often. She wanted Yuuri to be his own person, to be strong, to be independent, to embrace being an omega. He wanted that, too. He would wait for Yuuri.

He would soon be twenty-two and wondered how long fate would keep them apart. As he walked back to his apartment, he appreciated that he had his Makka to keep him company. For now, she would be enough. He slid his fingers into her curls. “One day, Makka...one day, we will have our Yuuri.”

Back in his apartment, he smiled at the framed print of the Japanese skater, his shy smile, his adorable costume of dark blue fading to green and then to white, bedazzled with crystals to give it sparkle. “You’re starting to make your mark in this world...without my influence.” He didn’t know how he felt about that. Part of him wanted to take care of him. He knew that now, at this moment, it wasn’t his place.  _ He’s not mine. Not yet. _

Waiting was hard, especially waiting in silence. He wanted to tell the world but that felt disrespectful. He slid his hands through his hair, closing his eyes and picturing the beautiful boy. 

_ God, he turned out beautiful.  _ He could now imagine the man. He no longer felt guilty for his thoughts. Frowning at that, he amended. Not  _ as  _ guilty. It still felt like he didn’t have Yuuri’s permission.

_ Do you remember me at all? Do you think of me? Maybe even imagine us together? _

* * *

  
  


Yuuri finally survived his first semester of college. Whatever compelled him to take Russian I his first semester was beyond him. He passed it, though, and finished with high marks. All of his courses held high marks. His parents were proud of him.

He watched the stream of the Grand Prix Final.  _ You are beautiful. I wonder who you are thinking about while you skate.  _ It was clearly a declaration of...love? That unnerved Yuuri. He didn’t want Victor to love anyone.

_ I’m not there yet _ .

Then he wiped away a tear and laughed at himself, looking down as his little poodle crawled into his lap. “I know. I’m ridiculous. It’s not like he’d even know I existed.”

The poodle barked and talked at him in his doggy fashion and Yuuri felt himself relaxing. Bringing Vicchan with him to Detroit had been a hard decision but his sister made it for him. She didn’t even tell him until the poodle was out of quarantine. And Yuuri called her in tears.

Yuuri hugged his puppy and moved over to his bed, the remnants of a nest left over from exams tumbled in the floor around it. Stretching out in bed, he reached under his pillow and pulled out the scarf, bringing it to his nose. The scent was more memory than anything these days but when he held that scarf, he knew what it should smell like. Cedar frosted in a cloak of winter snow, an undertone of lavender.  _ What do I smell like to others? _ He’d heard others comment on ginger, cinnamon, and chamomile, warm and earthy.

_ Is that what I’d smell like to you? Would you smell more on me? _

He’d read that one’s mate could pull out the deeper buried notes of their mate’s scent, that they could recognize them anywhere. Yuuri shook off that thought.  _ I must be crazy. I probably picked that scarf up at the rink and just grew attached to it due to my imagination. _

* * *

  
  


Yuuri skated at Nationals at the same time as Victor, the younger man still lacking the maturity in his skating to reach the top.  _ There are still two other skaters stronger than me in Japan. How can I reach you if I can’t even pass them up? _

“You did well, Yuuri,” his coach encouraged. The omega knew they would sit down later and go over the video of his programs and talk about how to improve it, where Yuuri was weak, what he needed to do next. Coach Celestino always talked about  _ next steps _ .

“Maybe I need to select a program with...stronger themes,” Yuuri suggested.

The Italian coach tilted his head thoughtfully. “Perhaps. Do you think you can portray more experience?”

Yuuri huffed. “No.” He had no experience. Maybe that was his problem. He spent a lifetime waiting for one man who didn’t know he existed. Yuuri didn’t know if he was ready. Life moved too fast for him as it was, early presentation, early heat.  _ I just want you. _

* * *

  
  


Victor celebrated with his rinkmates, enjoying the win. He held another gold to add to his growing collection. He spotted his coach and stumbled over to him. “Yakov, I’ve already thought of some changes that will give me an edge in Europeans.”

Yakov waved him off, not interested in talking shop at the moment, “Go home, Vitya...sleep it off. We talk in the morning.”

Instead Victor draped himself over the man. “No no no...I can’t remember when I’m sober.”

Yakov smiled tolerantly at his student. “Fine, tell me.”

Victor frowned, sadness slipping in and he shook his head. “He doesn’t see me. He doesn’t know me, Yakov.”

The coach knew this crash was on its way. “You could call him, you know. I believe Minako gave you his number.” He pulled his favorite, and most dramatic student, over over to a nearby couch and sat him down.

Victor was tearing up, the high from the win, mixed with the alcohol, resulted in a low for the alpha. “Y-yes...but wouldn’t that scare him? I-I need to earn his attention, Yakov. I need to deserve him.”

_ You have the attention of the whole world and cry that one pair of brown eyes might not have seen you.  _ The old man sighed wearily. “You told me years ago that he was your family. You don’t have to earn your family. Call the boy.”

Yakov walked away and Victor sat there staring at his phone. Yuuri Katsuki’s number lit the screen. Behind that was a picture of the boy holding a poodle, a delighted smile on his lips. He turned off his phone and pocketed it. Not tonight. Not when he wasn’t thinking clearly.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri danced in the club, laughing and enjoying the attention he was receiving. All eyes were on him and he was carrying the room. Maybe a few alphas had slipped him a drink here and there. Underage or not, a pretty omega could always get a drink.

“Yuuuuriiii,” one of those alphas slurred. “Come back with me.” He tripped into Yuuri, the omega sucking in a startled intake of breath.

He shook his head, backing up, pushing off the other man, the idea repelling him more than his drunkenness. “N-no.”

“What is this? I bought you drinks.” The alpha leered at him, his belligerent words quickly sobering up the omega.

“Back off, you creep,” came a woman’s voice. Yuuri turned and recognized the TA from his dance class. Her name was Jules and she had long red hair. “He said no.”

* * *

  
  


He leaned over the bar, his friend stroking his hair, soothing pheromones filling his corner of the bar. They were waiting for his coach, for his ride. He looked up as the Italian man walked into the room filling the space with his presence. Jules eyebrows shot up. “You didn’t tell me your coach was hot.”

Yuuri snorted. “I guess...he’s not my type.”

Celestino took one look at the omega in his care and thanked the woman that sat with him. “Do you need a ride home, too?”

She smiled, a little more than coy, “I mean...if you’re offering.”

He nodded sharply. “Let’s go.”

Once he settled Yuuri in the backseat, the omega curling up on his side, he came around and opened the door for Jules. As they rode home, he talked with the redhead. 

“Thank you for looking out for my student.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem…” By the time he dropped her off, he learned her name was Julia McGill, prefering to be called Jules, she was in an MFA program in dance, twenty-four, and very interested in the Italian coach.

The old coach laughed warmly. “I’m flattered, really...but I have a daughter not much younger than you.”

Her eyes practically bulged, “You do?”

“Yes...Francesca. She lives in Italy...close to her mother.”

“You’re married?” She couldn’t keep the disappointment out of her voice.

“Divorced.”

Jules sat back in her chair, attempting a sultry voice, “Then I don’t see a problem.”

“Julia…” He then saw her disapproving frown and amended his address. “Jules, your heart is young and you need to experience so much life. I have experienced so much life already. Do not waste your youth on me.”

She huffed. “Shouldn’t it be up to me to decide if I’m wasting my life?”

He smiled, as nice as it was to have the attention of an attractive young woman, he had learned through much, much experience that it quickly became complicated. “Perhaps...but I have a choice as to whether I’ll take part in it. Go, enjoy your life. Mine is with my students.”

As she got out of the car, she poked her head in and pointed out, “We’d make a great team. A skate coach with a dancer.”

He smiled, remembering a similar offer years ago. “I’ve already had my dancer. She...is gone now.” He watched her walk up the stairs to her apartment before driving off. He didn’t know his student was awake in the backseat until he spoke.

“Was it Minako-sensei?”

“Pshhh,” Celestino responded. “Mina is much too smart to get mixed up with me.”

It was a dodge and Yuuri recognized that even in his youth.  _ I don’t want to spend my life halfway around the world from you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pounding out a one shot. We'll see how it goes. The key word...Glamping. Something fun and light.
> 
> As for the rest of me...life is coming back together. Making the best of it. Hope you all are able to do the same.
> 
> Take care and be safe! Let me hear from you in the comments below!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twenty-year-old Yuuri finally meets Phichit. Victor is very aware of Yuuri's progress through college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much writing happened this weekend. THREE whole chapters. All Cocoon. At this rate, I might have this story written by the end of the weekend. I'm excited, though. I wrote so much sex! Then I couldn't do the heat chapter. I even joked, what if I posted a blank chapter with the words "Heat Chapter". (Don't worry...it's going to happen.)
> 
> Thanks to BluSkates for all of the lovely edits on this one. No sex, though. ;) Enjoy the read.

* * *

Yuuri tumbled out of his bed and faced the mess before him. He could hear how restless Vicchan was being during the night and now woke to find toys scattered about the room. The guilty little poodle in question was now curled up asleep, obviously exhausted from his nocturnal endeavors. The omega huffed as he fluffed the little dog’s fur. His small efficiency  [ apartment ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6c/25/94/6c25943e0f2bb7187f7fefaf83467cc4.jpg) had everything he needed including privacy and heat/rut reinforcements. Common spaces in the building carried scent neutralizing plugins to make it more friendly for all. One half of the building was restricted to omegas only, no overnight guests. Not that it didn’t happen. No one actually told on one another. Not unless it became a problem. It was a good community they had built in the buildings. Omegas would help each other sneak in a guest but also be there to help escort an unwanted visitor out.

His room offered a small two burner stove surface with a dishwasher tucked underneath, a single sink and a few cabinets. He moved into that part of the living space to turn on the rice steamer. The smaller apartment sized refrigerator was covered with magnets holding up pictures. The slideshow across the stainless steel exterior told the story of his first two years in college mixed with several from home. He stopped and studied the image of his new best friend and rinkmate. Phichit would be by soon for breakfast. He had a smaller room with a smaller kitchen and no stove burners. 

Moving into his closet, he switched his laundry from the washer to the dryer and pulled out a pair of jeans and pullover. The walk-in closet had shelves on one side that Yuuri used to hold extra nesting materials and a pair of closet rods on the opposite wall, the lower rod only reaching half way allowing for longer clothes like Yuuri’s costumes. Sandwiched between them was the washer and dryer stacking unit. He bent down and grabbed some briefs from one of the shelves that held several collapsable boxes serving as Yuuri’s chest of drawers. He had drawers under his bed but he kept his heat supplies there. 

He strolled into the bathroom and stepped into the walk-in shower. Some days he lamented not having a bath but if he had to choose, he preferred a shower. And it was generous enough for two, not that he’d ever experienced that. He’d come close. More than once. However, something held him back.

_ I’m holding out for a dream. My mother would think I’m being silly. It’s not like he knows I exist. _

He sighed, irritated with himself as he ran his hands over his body. He could feel his body gearing up for his heat. It would be the same fantasy this time. Yuuri had been offered to share his heat with a couple of guys, they were nice and he knew it would be easier. But still he held back. He would only think of him, of course.  _ Always. Of him.  _

_ God, you’d think I’d outgrow my childhood infatuation. _

Exiting the shower, he pulled on his clothes, the slim fitting red pullover with three buttons down the center complementing his eyes, setting off the fleck of fiery gold towards the center. Black jeans slid over his hips with ease. He frowned at the squeeze as he buttoned them. He hated that he always bloated before his heat. Looking in the mirror critically, he asked Vicchan, “Does this make me look fat?”

The poodle answered with a bark and then a growl, clearly disagreeing with the comment. Yuuri huffed at the fluffy roommate. “And what do you know about such things?”

His doorbell rang and he went to let in his best friend. The Thai skater came in bearing gifts from the coffee shop on the edge of campus. “I brought a chai latte and matcha. You pick. ” He sat down a bag that smelled wonderful, calling Yuuri’s attention. Opening, he discovered breakfast burritos.

Yuuri snagged one along with the matcha, “Mmmm, good call. I’m starving.”

“I’ve noticed. I thought you said you lost your appetite around your heat,” Phichit observed.

“The week before yes, two weeks before, my body makes up for it.” He reached out for another burrito, scooping rice out into the bowl next to it. “You are officially my favorite person,” he declared as he finished his bite, his head going back, eyes closing as he enjoyed the flavors. Everything tasted better when his heat drew close. It was like all of his senses were heightened.  _ Well, not sight. I’ll always need glasses, _ he chuckled softly thinking that would be amazing.

“I would think Norma was your favorite person since she’s the one who made them,” Phichit teased, his grey eyes sparkling. Soon their meal was finished, both wrapping up with a water bottle. “So, street dance tonight?”

“Might as well. You’re always telling me I don’t get out enough.”

“You don’t. I do not retract that statement. This is good. A positive step forward.” They were reaching for their jackets then decided otherwise, pocketing their keys and IDs instead. It would be enough. A few loose bills in case they wanted something to drink. Backpacks over their shoulders, they headed to class.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri found himself caught up in the music, the fall dance full of college students of varying ages. He spotted his old friend Jules who waved at him from her cluster of colleagues. She’d offered him a TA position to help her in the studio that fall and he found he loved teaching dance. Switching to the instruction track for his major, they often went out for coffee after class was over. She was his mentor as well as his friend and someone he could talk to about these feelings that seemed so different from any other omega. She would gush about her crush on Celestino and he would talk about the unattainable Victor.

Now he had Phichit. And the younger omega would state unequivocally that Yuuri was selling himself short. “You are definitely in Victor’s league and it is highly likely you will meet in the next few years.”

But that was always the hardest part of talking about Victor with anyone. It felt like they had met, that somewhere, perhaps in a past life, he knew him. It was a ridiculous thought, brought on by years of obsession. However, Yuuri couldn’t let it go. Not completely.

As he moved to the music, he knew he had garnered some attention and found himself in the arms of an alpha very interested and moving further into his space. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he began. “I’m Devryn and I’m…”

“On the hockey team. I’ve seen you,” Yuuri finished and watched the pleased expression settle on the other man’s face.

As Devryn twirled Yuuri out and then back in, he suggested playfully, “Perhaps you’d be open to coffee after practice sometime.”

Coffee, not drinks, not dinner. Something safe. That way things could go either way. Yuuri found himself shrugging, with a tilt of his head. “Sure. I can do that.”

“I look forward to it.” 

As the dance ended, they exchanged numbers and Yuuri waved at him shyly before running off to Phichit. “I think I just agreed to a date,” he rushed.

The Thai skater’s eyebrows rose. “Really...tell me all about it.” Yuuri relayed the interaction and Phichit hummed appreciatively. “He’s hot. We’ve both commented on that.”

“I know!”

“Well, are you going to go?”

Yuuri drew a shaky breath and agreed. “I think...it’s time for me to stop waiting on someone that may never materialize in my world.”

Phichit may not have agreed with that statement completely, but he knew Yuuri needed to experience life even as he nodded.

* * *

  
  


Victor looked at the pictures, Yuuri in the arms of a man that he himself found attractive. Something felt like it broke inside him. It wasn’t that Victor felt betrayed that Yuuri was enjoying himself, enjoying his freedom. Victor had taken lovers to bed, but those relationships had all felt hollow and meaningless. He didn’t want that for Yuuri, but he also lived terrified at the alternative. He curled up in his bed, holding his phone to his heart. He didn’t cry often but at that moment, he lay trembling, tears sliding down his cheek. Makkachin crawled into bed beside him.

Sniffing, he buried his face into her fur. “I know. It’s my own damn fault.”

He laid back and stared at the ceiling. Years of loneliness pressed down on him.  _ If I disappeared, no one would miss me. _ It wasn’t the first time that thought had crossed his mind. As if she could read his mind, Makkachin nosed into his space, licking the salty tears from his cheeks. He smiled weakly.  _ Well, maybe someone. _

He pulled his phone out and studied the picture. Yuuri, laughing and smiling.  _ I want that for him, don’t I?  _

He put away his morose thoughts and with a pout, pushed himself out of bed. Time to shower and deal with life once more. He had a job to do.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuuri curled up next to Devryn, enjoying the companionship. However, there was a push into his space that made him feel uncomfortable on a certain level. With a frown, he felt the alpha slide his hand beneath his shirt. “Ummm...I don’t know you well enough for that,” he protested, a shaky hand pushing Devryn’s away.

“We’ve been dating for three weeks,” he argued.

They had but Yuuri was out of commission with his heat for five of those days so it was more like two. He knew that he was equivocating, counting days wasn’t the way to validate intimacy. It wasn’t really a lack of time, but how could he explain it without sounding crazy. Instead, he chose a lie, “I just...need more time.”

The alpha sighed but nodded. “It’s fine. Just know that I do want you.”

Yuuri nodded, he knew. And on certain levels, Yuuri felt the same. Just something held him back. “I just...I don’t do this.”

Devryn ran a hand down his side, smoothing down the shirt, “Do what, darling?”

That hand slid over Yuuri’s hip and the omega gulped as he felt the heat of Devryn’s breath on his neck.  _ Too close. I can’t. I-I- _

Yuuri didn’t realize he wasn’t speaking out loud, his breathing cutting in and out in panic. However, the alpha pulled back immediately to see those brown eyes wide with fear. “Yuuri, baby...it’s okay. I’m not...what’s wrong?”

It took a few moments for his breath to settle and Vicchan was trying to crawl up in his lap. Devryn realized this was important and moved back so that the poodle could have access. The small dog licked and barked and nipped at his skin until Yuuri focused on him. He watched that tail wag back in forth almost hypnotically as he breathed in then out, focused on slowing his breath. Finally looking at Devryn, he shook his head. “You’ve got to go.”

“I’m not going to push you,” he protested.

Yuuri wasn’t satisfied with that. “You already have. I can’t...this isn’t me.” He was on his feet and pushing the other man firmly towards the door. Devryn barely grabbed his coat and shoes before he was out the door. As the omega closed it, he slid down on the other side, gathering Vicchan in his lap. “What is wrong with me?”

* * *

  
  


Victor woke up in the early hours of the morning and glanced at his phone. He was keyed up and he knew that feeling. It wasn’t him, but Yuuri...or his alpha responding to Yuuri. What was wrong? He sent a text to Minako

**VictorN/ Something is wrong with Yuuri.**

**O.Minako/ On it...of course, if you called.**

**VictorN/ Please. I’m seriously worried.**

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuuri was still sitting on the floor when his phone rang. He huffed. Of course it was Minako. Either she or Mari always knew. Answering, he murmured, “I’m okay.”

“But you weren’t...what happened?”

“I think...I overreacted. I had my boyfriend...I guess ex-boyfriend now...he was over and tried...I just couldn’t. It’s normal to want to have sex with your boyfriend so what’s wrong with me?”

“It’s normal to want to have sex and just as normal to  _ not  _ want to have sex. There is no obligation in relationships. You take care of each other but that means keeping each other safe and supporting one another. That does not mean pushing one or the other into sex.” There was a beat of silence before she asked, “Did he push you?”

“I thought he tried...but now I’m not so sure. He said it was fine.” Yuuri was able to see the situation, Devryn wasn’t pushing, he was respecting Yuuri’s boundaries. It was just that the lines were drawn so deep and immutable. “I think I’m broken.”

“You are not broken, Yuuri. You just haven’t found your person. Some people will only connect with a few...you may be like that. You’ve always been cautious.”

“I guess,” he muttered, his fingers picking at the callous on his feet. “It’s just...I always keep coming back to him, you know. As if no one else can be the right fit.” He huffed. “Listen to me. I guess I’m one of those crazy obsessed fans.”

“Yuuri,” Minako began, then stopped as if she had something to say but then changed her mind. “I think you should just let yourself be you...and if that means waiting for the right person, that’s okay.”

He sighed. “I just hate spending my heats alone.”

“Everyone does...imagination can only take us so far. But you’re going to be fine. Don’t push yourself into other people’s expectations.”

* * *

  
  


Victor studied his newest gold medal, his rinkmates cheering and celebrating around him, his best friend Chris giving him a hard time and promising he would be taking that from him soon. He should be filled with joy, cheering along with his friends. Instead, he took his next drink straight from the bottle hoping to at least feel the dull warmth of alcohol. He knew he was messed up. He knew the reason behind that empty feeling.

He knew only one person could fill it.

_ I just want you to fall in love with me. But how much longer must we wait? _

He could already hear Minako’s response.  _ You could already have this. _

_ I can’t...I would always wonder. No, fate somehow has to bring us together on its own. _

Taking another drink, he whispered Yuuri’s name under his breath as he dropped his head onto the table. A warm hand squeezed his shoulder, one of his friends looking out for him. They knew by now not to leave him alone when he was like this.

“Is it a lover?” he hears Chris ask.

Victor huffed at that. He wished. “Just someone out of reach.”

“Maybe you should call them.”

Victor groaned. “Why does everyone keep saying that? No, he...he doesn’t know me. Besides...I’m too much of a mess for anyone right now.”

Chris thinned his lips, looking over the older alpha with worry. “Sometimes it’s about finding the person who will accept you with all of your flaws.”

Victor closed his eyes, allowing a sad smile touch his lips. “That’s the dream.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking a week off to let my editor rest and recover. Hope to be back next week.
> 
> You know, it's been eleven years since IT happened. Eleven. Those poor darlings. I don't know which I feel for more, Yuuri or Victor. 
> 
> Hope all of you are safe and sound. Lots of hugs and fuzzy blankets. Let me know you're all okay. This world gets crazier and crazier as 2020 winds down.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri works towards reaching Victor even if he doesn't quite know what that means. Victor is cheering him on. And then...things happen...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yae! I'm back! And if you didn't catch it, BluSkates posted stuff as well.
> 
> Also, I hope to start Sirin back up at the end of the week! It may involve me shutting down Facebook for a time and honestly, it's a good time for it. So be on the lookout!
> 
> Thank you to all of you who popped in to read my other stories while waiting. It was lovely to read your comments.

* * *

Yuuri poked his pudgy belly with a frown. This wouldn’t do. As the season wrapped up, he’d fallen into a state of discontent. Devryn, once he realized Yuuri could never move on, had and Yuuri remained alone, uncertain, insecure. He scrolled through his phone as he sniffed. He didn’t miss the alpha, not really, he was just lonely.

**Okaasan/ Yuu-chan, come home.**

**Mari-neechan/ Little brother, you could use a couple of weeks in the onsen.**

**Yuuko-chan/ You looked sad during your last skate. Come home.**

Hugging himself, he wanted to. Really, he did. But...he still hadn’t accomplished what he’d set out to do. Not yet. It would feel too much life defeat, and he worried that once at home, wrapped in the safety of his family he wouldn’t be able to liberate himself again.

Looking up at his latest Victor Nikiforov poster, he shrugged off the desire that washed over him.  _ One day we’ll meet. As equals.  _ Then he laid back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling.  _ I don’t know why. I’m just me. Maybe I’m too picky.  _ Curling up on his side, his eyes fell on a worn scarf hanging on a hook. He rolled out of bed and wrapped his neck with that scarf, pulling the tails to his nose to breathe in the memory of a scent, frozen evergreen intertwined with lavender.

He had a season to prepare for, maybe this was the one. This would be the season that led him to a podium, and to Victor.

* * *

  
  


Victor loved Yuuri’s newest friend Phichit, a treasure trove of Yuuri pics and video filling social media. It was like having Yuuko once more. He noticed the alpha had disappeared from Yuuri’s world and a determination had set into the omega’s countenance. Initially pleased to see ‘the other man’ leave, he soon felt regret. He watched Yuuri’s depression rise along with his weight. However, Phichit supplied an almost running monologue of Yuuri and soon the pictures changed to a young man getting into amazing shape for the coming season.

The alpha was glad to see the other alpha out of the picture but he hated to see Yuuri hurting.  _ Did you love him? Did he break your heart? _ He never wanted that for Yuuri. He wanted to protect him and keep him safe. Minako’s voice came forward and tormented him.  _ He wouldn’t have a broken heart if you’d just reach out to him. _

With a huff he put his phone away. Maybe this was the season. Yuuri was seeded into the Grand Prix series. It could happen. This could be the season that led Yuuri to the podium and Victor to Yuuri. He smiled wondering if he or Yuuri would be on top...of the podium.

Hugging himself, he knew he’d have to be patient. And hope. Neither of them had events together, which meant Yuuri  _ had  _ to make it to the Final. Was it hoping for too much? Six. Only six of the best skaters in the world make it to the grand prix final per division.

“Vitya, get off that phone and on the ice,” he heard Yakov bark. Victor found his smile.  _ Maybe _ . And that’s closer than he’s been in years.

  
  


* * *

Yuuri jerked the laces loose and yanked off the skate, tears streaking down his cheek. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, there,” Celestino cut in, removing Yuuri’s hand from the skate. “It looks like a sprain.”

“But...I’m so close,” Yuuri breathed, hating to lose this time. He’d placed bronze in his first Grand Prix competition. He wanted this. “Tape it,” he determined.

“Don’t bark orders at me, we’re a team.” Celestino leveled a stare at him. “I won’t do that. I will not risk a permanent injury for a moment.”

“But I’m running out of time,” Yuuri breathed.

Celestino knitted his eyebrows,  _ what is the rush?  _ “This isn’t your season. If we let this heal, you can come back for Nationals and finish well, probably make the world team. Let’s get your things. Do you want to stay and watch, or go back to the room?”

“I...don’t think I can watch,” the omega whispered, heartbreak in his expression.

* * *

  
  


Victor watched, tasting the sour bile of disappointment as Yuuri was escorted from practice. The other skater Cao Bin that collided with the omega stood with a smug expression against the boards, unharmed. It had been judged an accident but Victor had heard that skater talk about an ‘omega’s place’. He had a bad feeling and watched the coverage with frustration. As Yuuri headed out of the arena, he was pounced on by reporters but waved them off, too upset to speak.

“This is fucking bullshit!” the alpha spat out.

His other rinkmates echoed in agreement, Ivan chiming in, “That bastard tried to push Dmitry around when I wasn’t at the competition with him.”

“So...what do we do?” He itched for action.

Ivan smirked. “A little tit for tat at the Final?”

Victor nodded in appreciation. He had fire in his veins and the need to protect Yuuri was overwhelming.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri watched in horror as the three skaters collided on ice. Victor apologized profusely as he helped the Chinese skater to his feet. Turning to Phichit, “That’s the bastard…”

“I know. And  _ that  _ looked like retaliation,” Phichit answered, humming with approval.

Yuuri’s eyes widened, “What?”

“Collisions happen, even with the best of us, and with so many lefties in the sport. But even I can see that was a set up. Viktor held the eyes of the other guy the entire time, and both backed right into Cao. You are telling me they were  _ both _ going for a lutz set up center ice near the boards?”

Yuuri opened his mouth to protest then remember. Lutzes happen towards boards, not from and never center ice. “But...why?”

Phichit studied the screen thoughtfully. “Well, Cao Bin has been heard making a number of disparaging remarks towards omega skaters. Maybe he ticked off one of their mates.”

Sitting back on the sofa, Yuuri reached for his beer, needing the alcohol to settle his nerves a bit. “I-I think Ivan has a mate on the ice dance team. Dmitry? That’s probably it.”

“Yeah, that’s got to be it.” Phichit rolled his eyes and reached for his own bottle, taking a strong swig. Yuuri frowned when the younger omega drank at parties but usually said nothing in the privacy of their own rooms. If he stuck to just one. “Maybe your boy Victor was pissed about what happened to  _ you  _ at Skate Canada. You know...because it’s more recent? And Cao has never been near Dmitry...and Dmitry could bounce him off the wall for fun.”

Yuuri huffed at that. “Victor doesn’t know I exist. We’re not even in the same universe.”

“You have his poster over your bed. I know you masterbate to that,” Phichit deadpanned.

Yuuri side-eyed his best friend. “You suck!”

Phichit grinned, remembering a recent date. “And he enjoyed it...not the point. I’m saying, it’s entirely possible that Victor has a poster of you over his own bed.”

Yuuri pulled his knees to his chest, shaking his head. “It...it wasn’t real. It was just a dream.”

Phichit frowned, noting the change in Yuuri’s stance. He sat forward and asked, “What...was just a dream?”

Yuuri shook his head, no longer present in the room. “I...was nine. I presented really early. I thought...it got stuck in my head that Victor took care of me. But everyone said it wasn’t real, it was just a dream.”

Phichit chewed the side of his cheek thoughtfully. “Where were you when you presented?”

“Fukuoka. We went to see Victor skate. I was scared. I remember being scared and not knowing what was happening. Then it gets muddled up.” He shook his head and looked up at Phichit and offered a disbelieving laugh. “I thought Victor found me and took me to a room where medics set up and talked to me. Then held onto me through my presentation. Stupid, I know. But I’ve always had a strong imagination.”

“I don’t know,” Phichit blinked as he listened to Yuuri’s story. “That’s strangely...detailed. Kids seldom put in details that they don’t understand.”

Yuuri shrugged. “I mean, my parents were adamant it was a dream. So...it couldn’t be real.”

The younger omega studied Yuuri for a moment before suggesting, “Everyone lies, you know.”

Yuuri’s face jerked up, his eyes wide. “B-but...my parents. My mother…”

Phichit rolled his eyes at that. “Parents are the worst about lying. And sadly, they do it the most, for all the best reasons they will tell the worst lies.”

Yuuri shook his head, holding onto his ears. “I had to have made it up. Why would they lie?”

“Who knows? My mother told me my tongue would fall off if I didn’t quit smacking my gum. Parents lie. All the time.”

Yuuri swallowed, thinking about it. “In the dream...memory...whatever it was...Minako was there. Why wouldn’t she say something?”

Phichit shrugged. “Perhaps she wanted to but you know...grown ups tend to stick together.”

Yuuri stood up, his legs shaky. “I...I need to lie down.”

“Are you okay?” Phichit saw his friend starting to suffer the effects of doublethink. He had met Victor and they had never met now lived in his mind, each having equal sway.

“No...but...I need time to process this.”

* * *

  
  


Yuuri still had the possibility of a lie on his mind when he skated. He had Nationals to prepare for and the JSF placed a lot of pressure on his shoulders. Now cleared to skate, he began pushing through his program.

Another fall and he groaned, stretching out like a starfish as he stared up at the ceiling.

“Yuuri, you need to clear whatever is on your mind,” his coach warned.

He knew that. But...Victor.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri stood in the lobby at Nationals, his mind at war. He forced a smile as Minako and Mari ran up to him, offering a small wave.  _ Why do I feel shy with them? _ But everyone felt like a stranger at the moment, or perhaps Yuuri was the stranger.

“How’s my little brother doing?”

He shrugged. “H-how are Okaasan and Otousan?”

“Good,” Mari answered, studying him. “They wanted to come but…”

“Someone had to see to the inn.” Yuuri’s eyes darted away, shifting back and forth on his feet.

She nodded, smiling that forced reassurance that always set Yuuri’s nerves on edge, assuming he was hurt that his parents weren’t there. Minako added, “But I’m sure you could come back with us after the competition.”

Yuuri shook his head. At the moment that was the last place he wanted to be. He couldn’t explain it but he needed distance from the two adults that brought him into the world. “I had to put off my exams. I really should go back and study.”

Mari studied him but finally nodded, letting him go. She knew he sometimes needed space and she had to accept her little brother was an adult and wouldn’t share everything with her. “Let’s go eat,” she suggested. “Is your coach around? Does he want to join us?”

“No, he’s meeting up with one of the other coaches, an old friend. I guess it’s just us.” He did take a moment to spy up at Minako who looked away.

“I hear he’s dating one of your friends,” Mari went on and Yuuri couldn’t help but wonder if it was a fishing expedition.

“They are sort of dating but nothing serious so far,” Yuuri provided. “He still thinks she’s too young.”

Minako huffed at those words. “He should. His own daughter is only a year older than you.”

Yuuri shrugged. “I figure it’s none of my business unless Jules wants to talk about it...and really, I hope she doesn’t because…” He sighed deeply, spying up at his sister, “It’s weird. He’s my coach. I don’t want to hear about that.”

Minako looked at her protege curiously, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and hugging him against her. “We have lives, too, even though we’re oooold.” She looked away, the idea of Celestino connecting with anyone hurt but she understood. She hadn’t lived a life locked away in a convent either.

Yuuri smiled, liking that she lightened up a little, leaning into her. “You’re never old, and you’re different. You’re family.”

She smiled at that and guided him down the street. They found a ramen shop but made note of a sushi place they would try without Yuuri. “I know, nothing raw during competition. But that doesn’t mean your sister and I can’t enjoy it.”

“No, I suppose not,” Yuuri agreed, taking a stool at the bar. Soon they had steaming bowls in front of them and Yuuri breathed in the scent. Home always smelled wonderful even if it was just enjoying local food.

“So, you’ve been busy lately. Too busy to call and check in. What have you been up to?” Mari asked.

Yuuri shrugged, “Just getting back in shape after my ankle healed. I hope I do well.”

Both ladies exchanged glances but knew better than to put too much pressure on him. Minako stated, “We’re just glad to see you skate.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you could both come. I know it’s hard to get away.”

“Nonsense,” Mari argued. “I come to every competition I’m able to attend.” She always did. Yuuri knew he couldn’t expect his parents. They rarely closed up shop. If the competition was close, he would sometimes see them. The last time was in Fukuoka. They at least made a point to watch the competition, calling after to congratulate him and encourage him.

“I know...I just...I thought I’d be further along by now.” He could feel the frustration rise up in his voice and hated it because it made that knot settle at the back of his throat. He wanted to enjoy the meal, good Japanese food was hard to come by in the States. 

“Just skate the story you want to tell, the rest will take care of itself,” Minako stated. “You had beautiful form early in the season. I’m sure we won’t be disappointed.”

“Thanks.” Yuuri looked at Minako and thought about his conversation with Phichit.  _ Should I ask her? _ But as he opened his mouth, he couldn’t get out the words. The idea that his mother and father would lie to him was too much. They loved him and protected him. Phichit had to be wrong.

“So, Mari’s got a boyfriend,” Minako declared, her eyes sparkling with mirth.

Mari’s eyes widened and she opened and closed her mouth several times before huffing at Minako. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“He should know. He’s your brother,” she argued.

“I..I…”

Yuuri studied his sister before asking, “Do I know them?”

She sighed. “So we’re going there?”

Yuuri shrugged. “If you really don’t want to…”

“He’s a teacher at the school. Hashimoto Aiko. Divorced. No kids. And...he doesn’t really want any kids.”

“Are you okay with that?” Yuuri asked, his eyes narrowing.

“God yes!” Then she stopped herself, her hand going to her lips. “It’s just...I’ve always had to be the responsible one. I just...I want...I don’t want kids. The way Okaasan always worried about us.”

“About me, you mean. Did she worry about you?” Yuuri asked.

Mari shrugged, turning back to her bowl. “She never felt she had to...but with your anxiety.”

Yuuri felt his jaw tighten as he faced his own bowl. “You...had to look after me quite a bit. I know. I’m a lot.”

“No,” she argued. “You are not...but well, I don’t want another kid.” She huffed, feeling like she made a mess of the conversation.

Yuuri could feel the tears stinging his eyes, and suddenly he needed away from prying eyes. “Can we just go?” he asked.

They walked back in silence, Minako glancing towards the two of them with worry. There was always a fine line between not interfering enough and too much. She didn’t expect that conversation to go the way that it did, however.

Back at the hotel, they stood waiting on the elevator and as the door closed behind them, they were blissfully alone. Yuuri turned to his sister and took her hand, giving it a squeeze. “I know I’m not easy...I never have been. But I’m glad I have you for a sister.”

“Oh, Yuuri,” she stated, pulling him into a hug. Minako discretely held the door closed button on the elevator until they finished and stepped apart. “I’m glad I have you for a brother. No regrets.”

“I do want you to be happy.”

“Thank you...I want that for you, too. Has there been anyone else since…” she trailed the question off even as she brushed his hair back.

Yuuri shook his head. “I don’t really...no one.” He shrugged before adding, “I haven’t really been looking.” He didn’t know how to say to his sister that he isn’t really attracted to anyone. “I have a lot on my plate.”

She studied him before squeezing his hand once more. “Make sure you take time for yourself. You work too hard.”

Then the door opened and they stepped out on their floor.

It was Minako’s turn to open her mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out. She wanted so much to tell him, to help him fill that missing piece of the puzzle. But she simply followed the siblings down the hall, smiling as Mari bent her knee to gently kick Yuuri in the butt and watching as the brother returned the favor in kind.

* * *

  
  


Victor watched with disappointment as Yuuri stood in second on the podium at Nationals. He would go to Four Continents, the other skater to Worlds. He threw himself back on the hotel mattress in frustration. They had been so close.

He heard a knock on his door and got up to let in his teammates. Ivan and Dmitry brought drinks. Georgi set out their food. Soon, they were around the table enjoying the meal when suddenly, Ivan noticed Victor wasn’t eating.

“Everything okay?”

Victor shrugged. “Yuuri won’t be at Worlds. He took silver.”

“A lot can happen in a few months,” Dmitry pointed out.

Georgi, on the other hand, was weeping. “You are always so close to your paramour, yet so far away. It’s as if the universe is playing tricks with your heart.”

Victor raised an eyebrow and reached for the drink Ivan poured for him, knocking it back. Glaring at Georgi, he stated, “Not helping.”

He abandoned the table and went to the bed, lying back to stare at the ceiling. He knew one of them would stay. It had become a rule not to leave Victor alone when he was moody. “I’m fine,” he declared, glancing over towards the table and seeing the other three busying themselves with food.

Later, he got up and browsed through the leftovers. Ivan and Dmitry were asleep, the TV flickering in the dim light, some third rate vampire movie playing on a late night feed. He found some dumplings and managed to eat them, chasing it with some vodka. Deciding the vodka made for a good companion, he carried the bottle to bed. “We need to quit meeting like this,” he murmured before taking a drink from the bottle. He continued to drink as he watched the movie, the sound too low to be anything more than a series of images. In the back of his mind, he felt Yuuri on the edge of his thoughts. It had been awhile since he sensed the other man, Yuuri unaware of his presence and Victor often suppressing it, not wanting to spy.

And what he felt in Yuuri was a deep longing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do we every really forget? Sometimes things hang out in the back of our mind. 
> 
> Next chapter...what happens when two soulmates collide...a second time.
> 
> So...thoughts?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor draw closer together in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...last week didn't happen but here we are! I hope you love this chapter! Give your thanks to BluSkates for the love she added to this story.

* * *

* * *

Yuuri stretched out in his nest, staring up at the ceiling...and a certain poster mounted to the surface. He needed to get up, to stretch, to shower. His heat lay behind him and now he was left with the funk in the aftermath. Groaning, he pushed out of his nest. He’d call the nesting service later. He couldn’t sleep another day in that mess.

Dragging his body into the shower he stood under the steamy blast. He couldn’t help but wonder, how does one handle working in a nesting service? All of those scents mingling together. People’s funk in the fabrics, washing, drying, de-scenting, treating. He was surprised it wasn’t an episode of  _ Dirty Jobs _ .  _ Maybe it is. I should look into it with Phichit later. Phichit would absolutely love it. _

Finally clean, he went through the motions of pulling the nesting materials and bagging them up. After a second bag, he set it out in the hall next to a scent neutralizer. A phone call later, the service would come, carry it away, leaving a crisp, clean version in its wake.

He ran into Phichit downstairs. “Hey, you,” he greeted, bumping shoulders with the younger omega.

The Thai man smiled back to his friend, “I seemed to have finished a day before you. I think the entire floor was in heat.”

Yuuri shrugged good naturedly, “When omegas room together…”

“Their heats line up.” Phichit finished the thought. “What was it like growing up with two other omegas?”

Yuuri shrugged. “By the time I had my heats, Mom didn’t really get hers very often and she took sliders to keep them from lining up with ours. Mari and I were cranky together, pigging out together...except she got to eat more longer which never seemed fair. Mom always made sure I ate  _ katsudon _ , though, when my appetite picked up.”

“So...what do you think about this boyfriend of Mari’s?”

“She seems happy and they seem to be in the same place. I want her to be happy. She spent so long taking care of me.”

“Did she need to, though?”

Yuuri huffed a laugh out with that as they steered into the coffee shop. “Now that’s a question. I mean...growing up, I’ve always had my anxiety. She could always find me, dig me out of my hiding spot and take me home. It got worse after I presented.”

“Well, you were nine.”

“Yeah...way too young. I remember thinking I’d get pregnant.”

Phichit smiled at that. “Perhaps...it was worse because you were separated from your mate.”

“Phichit,” Yuuri argued, a warning in his voice.

Phichit was never one to take a warning and barged right in. “So in sociology, they talk about this one practice called  _ cocooning _ .”

Yuuri nodded. “I read about that. But it doesn’t really...no one does that anymore.” His voice was flat, Phichit had romantic notions and this was nothing more than another of those.

But the Thai man was not to be dismissed, “Not on purpose...but I did some research. It does happen. You know...when certain compatible people are in the vicinity of one another when they present?”

“Phichit,” Yuuri argued.

“No, hear me out.” His friend held his hand up, hoping he could sway the other omega. “It causes an attachment. They basically imprint on one another. They can form lasting relationships outside one another but it’s hard.”

Yuuri folded his arms and cocked his eyebrow, “So are you suggesting I’m imprinted on Victor Nikiforov?”

The younger omega shrugged. “It’s not impossible.”

“True, it’s just highly improbable. Besides, if we were imprinted on one another, where is he? It’s not like I’m locked away.” Yuuri spread his eyes and arms for emphasis.

The man opened his mouth but knew he had been checkmated. There was nothing he could argue on that point. “I-I don’t know,” Phichit answered, chewing his bottom lip.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri watched Victor skate at the European Championship clutching the scarf to his chest. He flicked a glare towards his best friend for planting ideas in his head. Ever since their talk, he found himself thinking about that old dream. Phichit’s words had found a nest in his heart, and as illogical as it seemed he felt something pulling at him, almost calling him.

_ It’s not possible. _

However, Victor’s skating showed such...longing. Closing his eyes, he let the music flow into him, touching something deep within. As if a golden string connected them, Yuuri could feel every note, every movement. He didn’t need to open his eyes to see Victor’s skates make contact on the ice. He felt it.

_ It’s not possible. _

Opening his eyes, he watched Victor close the program. Yuuri’s hand went to his heart and gasped as he watched Victor do the same.  _ No, this couldn’t be real. My imagination is getting away with me. _

_ It’s not possible. _

_ But… _

_ What if it is? _

* * *

  
  


Yuuri tossed and turned. He would skate tomorrow. He rolled over and reached for that familiar blue scarf, hugging it to his chest.  _ Will you watch me skate? Will you be able to feel me the way I felt you as you skated? _ He was afraid to add the  _ as well _ even in his unspoken thoughts.

He wanted that so much, to somehow share that moment of intimacy with the other skater. It scared him as well. For many reasons. However, he was tired of waiting. He wanted...and he wanted Victor.

The next morning, he was tired as he met his coach. The older man frowned. “I know, I didn’t sleep well. Nerves.”

“Well, you need to set those aside. I just received word from the JSF. The other skater, the one going to Worlds...he had to withdraw. You will be competing in their place.”

Yuuri’s eyes widened. He’d finally be on the same ice as Victor. The allure of Worlds, skating at in that venue all were second to the thought of Victor.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri skated around the rink before settling into his opening position. Closing his eyes, he released the exhaustion into the ice, he let go of his anxiety.  _ This is for us. _

Lifting his arm, he raised his chin and waited for the first notes. He would be beautiful, beautiful for Victor. The first notes of  [ The River Flow in You ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7maJOI3QMu0) began to play, the blue and white of Yuuri’s costume rippling out as he moved through the notes.

_ For so very long, I’ve chased after you. Now you’re nearly in reach. _

_ For so very long, I’ve thought of you as just a dream. Now I’m not so sure. _

_ For so very long, I’ve never felt worthy of you. Now I will be skating on the same ice. _

_ Are you him? _

_ Are you the one at the edge of my memory? _

_ I really want it to be you. _

Yuuri closed into his final position, his arms reaching out.  _ Please let it be you. _

* * *

  
  


Victor watched as Yuuri’s beautiful form moved around the ice, as if gliding effortlessly into each move. The jumps and spins flowing from his body as the music caressed him… no as he created it with his skate. The emotions that welled up in Victor as he watched the other skater felt too potent, too real to be his alone. Almost subconsciously he allowed his arm to rise and fall in unison with the music, slowly lifting over his head then resting as a point to the audience off his left shoulder. Shocked, he watched as Yuuri did the same, knowing full well that the young man had changed his final stance from what he had done previously.  _ Did we do that together? Did you feel me?  _ He swallowed the knot, watching the beauty unfold before him.  _ I so very much want to skate with you. I felt you with me at Europeans, I felt your eyes on me even with the miles apart. Do you feel me now, here, watching you? _

He had learned hours ago that Yuuri would be replacing the other Japanese skater at Worlds. He was almost in reach. As Yuuri reached out at the close of his program, Victor found himself reaching back in response.

He felt Makka snuffling next to him and as he leaned back, the poodle crawled into his lap. “Did you see that, Makka? That boy...that’s my Yuuri. And maybe, just maybe we will meet soon.”

Makka responded with a boof. This would be good for her person.

* * *

  
  


Victor stood impatiently in line to board the plane that would take him to the World Figure Skating Championship. He didn’t know what he’d say when he finally saw the younger skater. He hoped he was enough. He hoped Yuuri would want him.

Across the world, Yuuri shifted back and forth on his feet, rocking, tapping his feet. He couldn’t wait to get to their destination and yet, he was nervous, scared. What if Victor never sought him out for a reason? What if Victor didn’t really want him? What if it had always been just a dream?

He felt a squeeze of his hand and turned to smile at his best friend. “It’s going to work out.”

“What if…” He tugged at the ends of the blue scarf, it was a wonder it wasn’t frayed. The quality was much better than anything Yuuri owned. Cashmere. He pulled it in to breathe in the memory of a scent.

Phichit put a finger against his lips. “Shhh...we don’t speak those doubts into the universe. It’s going to work out.”

Yuuri nodded, drawing in a shaky breath, repeating, “It’s going to work out.”

* * *

  
  


Hours later, Yuuri walked into the lobby of a hotel near the venue. He was nervous and scared. He could almost feel his nerves in surround sound, as if they were being echoed by...another. He turned and his eyes widened. Blue eyes, silver hair. He hadn’t noticed Yuuri yet and the omega fought the urge to run.

A squeeze of his hand, and he glanced over at Phichit who nodded towards Victor. “Are you…”

Yuuri shook his head. No, he didn’t want to force it. “Not yet.”

Soon they were shuffled upstairs and Yuuri was glad he was sharing a room with Phichit. The other skater knew how to keep him calm.

* * *

  
  


Victor could feel Yuuri nearby but hadn’t located him yet. The pull was undeniable. They did not practice at the same time but he’d seen the list. Yuuri was in the next slot. “Yuuri,” he whispered.

A hand clamped on his shoulder and he looked up and caught Ivan’s reassuring smile. “He’s here, Vitya...don’t lose this opportunity.”

“I want...I just...I want it to be right. You know?”

The older alpha nodded. “You’ve waited a long time.”

“So has he,” Victor pointed out. “I don’t even know that he knew he was waiting.”

* * *

  
  


They were in different flights, Yuuri in the second to the last, Victor, as a favorite for the podium, in the last. It gave the alpha time to watch Yuuri, and oh, was he beautiful. His short was  [ Merry-go-round of Life ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HTcVovJxFg) , Yuuri opting for a fuller orchestra version with a solid strings section as opposed to the piano version he used earlier in the season. Victor always preferred strings, violin, viola, cello...drawing in a shaky breath, Victor tried to tell himself not to read too much into it.

He wondered if Yuuri would stay to see him skate, then he felt that familiar emptiness and he knew it wasn’t a want, it was a need. He needed Yuuri to stay, to watch. He needed Yuuri to see the program he built as he thought of the omega.  [ Someone You Loved ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMG1BXo8Asg) felt as close to and as far as his heart could run. It held his fears and his hopes. And he wanted to be the one in Yuuri’s heart. He feared that Yuuri still hurt from the romance from the previous spring.

_ Let it be me. _

* * *

  
  


Yuuri watched the program with fresh eyes, feeling the emotion vibrate within him. It was so much...more. He was certain it was the proximity that changed everything, but somehow he could feel that there was something in Victor demanding he perform his heart out. Yuuri could let himself believe that this was all real, that what he was feeling was being reflected on the ice below.

So much time had passed. Yuuri was twenty-two. Thirteen years. Half Victor’s life. Would he really wait that long for Yuuri? Would he really want Yuuri, after all of these years?

And as Victor settled into his final pose, Yuuri had one final thought.

_ Let it be me. _

* * *

  
  
  


Victor escaped the press and ran along the hallway. He could feel him, he was so close and Victor could hold back no longer. He rounded the corner and there he stood, eyes wide and brown staring back at him in shock. “Yuuri,” he whispered.

Those full lips parted, his hand reaching out as Victor closed the distance between them. And as Yuuri breathed in his scent, wintry cedar filled his senses. “You’re real,” he whispered, before his eyes went back and Yuuri went limp in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Yuuri acknowledging the connection locked it in place? I just write their stories and sometimes I don't know these things.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post faint Yuuri talks to Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I asked the twitter community which to put up first, this one or Sirin. None seemed to care but I remembered this one was left on a cliffhanger. So here is the next chapter!
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for the edits! :)

* * *

Yuuri’s eyes fluttered, then opened, closed, and opened again.  _ Where am I?  _ Disoriented, he looked around and noticed the medic’s equipment.  _ Oh, I...no, I didn’t have a panic attack. _ He then turned his head the other way and his eyes widened. “V-victor?”

“Hello, Yuuri,” he murmured, the soft, velvet tones wrapping around the omega.

_ Oh, that voice...it’s so...so...warm.  _ “H-hi,” Yuuri responded. “W-why are you here?”

He shrugged, tilting his head to one side, a soft smile on his lips. “I thought I should stay since I brought you here.” Those eyes held an infinite amount of patience. Yuuri felt sheltered in that gaze.

Yuuri blinked. “O-oh.” Glancing around the room. “I-I don’t know what happened.”

“I think shock, perhaps,” suggested the alpha, sitting down on the stool next to the exam table. Victor was within reach, his scent fluttering through the air teasing Yuuri’s senses without overwhelming, pheromones calm as if he had all of the time in the world.

“Oh,” he whispered. “V-victor?” He waited, his eyes resting on the beautiful man, watching him nod in response. That scent wrapped around him like a warm embrace, familiar, frosted cedar, lavender. “I...I know you. I know your scent. W-why do I know your scent?”

The alpha closed his eyes taking a deep breath, then opened them slowly, focusing on Yuuri before reaching out, hesitantly smoothing out Yuuri’s dark hair, settling to cup Yuuri’s cheek. The omega turned towards his wrist, taking in a deep breath of the frosty evergreen scent. “The same reason I know yours. That I’ve thought of no other scent but cinnamon and ginger for thirteen years.”

“It was...It really happened,” Yuuri breathed. He felt himself bloom alive, a sudden thrill of joy erupting in his chest as he knew he was right all along. Right to wait, right to guess, right to question. And then, like a bubble it burst. His eyes blinking rapidly, his reality catching up to him, anger flashing in his eyes. “They lied to me.”

“Yuuri,” Victor started, his pheromones pushing in to settle the omega as he started to scent his distress.

Yuuri shook his head, now sitting up and willing away Victor’s attempt to calm him and erase the anger at years of lies. Victor’s hands went to support him, fussing over the omega as he found his balance. Yuuri lifted wide brown eyes to meet his. “My parents...my mother. She told me it wasn’t real. Oh my god! All of these years, it was...it was…” Yuuri began to fan himself even as he started gasping for air.

“Yuuri...Yuuri, listen to me. Breathe, darling.” He caught Yuuri’s eyes but the omega continued to struggle. “In, Yuuri...with me...in...two...three...out…two...three...in...” Victor breathed as he guided Yuuri to calm down. Yuuri followed along, eyes trained on that face, those blue eyes, listening as he fought for control of his air passages, and finally nodding that he was okay.

“H-how did you know to do that?” he asked. His voice sounded small. He felt small.

Victor pressed a kiss into Yuuri’s hair before lifting the omega’s chin with his finger and thumb. “The first day we met, you were having a panic attack. I figured if we did end up together, I should find out how to deal with them.”

“O-oh...I-I’m sorry. I’m pretty messed up.” He wanted to hide, to turn away from the alpha’s touch. He wasn’t worth the other’s attention.

Victor didn’t let him, his hand firm on the omega’s chin. The alpha shook his head. “Oh, darling...no worse than I am. You might find that I’m more of a mess.”

Yuuri blinked at those words. They didn’t make sense. Victor was perfect. “Wh-where...have you been?” If his family knew and kept him from the truth, what had kept Victor from coming to him?

That caused a bitter huff of laughter to escape the older man. “That...is a story. Why don’t we get you back to the hotel where you can...relax? Where we can talk privately.”

Yuuri nodded, suddenly filled with the need to stay close to Victor. He was almost afraid to let him go, to lose sight of him, afraid he’d disappear or Yuuri would wake up, or worse still, they would be unfairly separated again. He took a deep breath then let it out, allowing Victor to help him to his feet, turning into the red and white jacket Victor draped over his shoulders. “Oh, my coach!” He looked around frantically, realizing Celestino must be worried.

“He’s outside this office with my coach...and your rinkmate.”

Yuuri’s eyes widened, “Phichit! He’s got to be beside himself with worry!”

Victor nodded, reading something in Yuuri’s concern as he guided Yuuri to the door, his scent turning uncertain. “I see...I didn’t realize. Your...boyfriend?”

Yuuri blinked at him, his brain grinding to a halt as he processed those words. “Ummm...boyfriend?” he squeeked.

He looked away, pain crossing his features as he processed the possibility that Yuuri was out of reach. “I didn’t mean to...I should have invited…”

“Victor,” Yuuri began, placing a hand on the alpha’s forearm. “Phichit is my best friend... _ not _ my boyfriend. I haven’t...I don’t date.”

Victor let those words sink in. “Oh...I...I don’t either.”

Yuuri’s lips parted in surprise. “Oh.”

* * *

  
  


In the hall, two coaches leaned against the wall across from the office the medic commandeered. Phichit leaned next to the door half eavesdropping. 

As Yakov finished the story of Victor and Yuuri’s first meeting, the younger coach shook his head in response. “Astounding. You never hear of such things in this day and age.”

“No, you don’t...but it’s been a challenge on our side.”

“Yuuri’s never said anything,” Celestino mused.

Phichit, with the amazing ability to try to listen in on two conversations at once, rolled his eyes.  _ Of course he didn’t. Even if he knew, he’s Yuuri. He wouldn’t think he’s worth it. _ Something the younger omega hated about his friend. The only thing in fact as Yuuri was perfect in every way except his self-perception.

Yakov watched the younger coach whom he admired come to understand what was going on with his talented skater. “It is my understanding that Yuuri didn’t know that the adults in his life convinced him it wasn’t real.”

The ponytail swung as he shook his head in disbelief, “But you said they imprinted on each other. How...the psychological affect…”

“As I said, it’s been challenging.” Yakov spread his hands wide. “Victor’s emotional well-being was already in jeopardy when they met from the loss of his parents. He instantly attached to the boy and honestly, he never let go. As for Yuuri...I don’t know what damage has been done.” He sighed heavily, removing the trademark fedora and rubbed at his scalp. The coach may be gruff but he cared fiercely for those in his care, and with Victor, that meant also caring for Yuuri.

Celestino watched the motion and thought of his own hair.  _ Never do that. Never, ever do that.  _ He then turned his thoughts to Yuuri, the last few years, the lack of confidence, the constant doubting himself, the anxiety. He recalled Yuuri going to see a psychiatrist and came out saying they didn’t know what they were talking about, suggesting his omega was grieving the loss of its mate. It all started to make sense. Pieces were falling into place, forming a picture. The curve of her face, the lines of her body.  _ Minako, you should have told me...you should have told him. My god, woman! What were you thinking? _

The door opened and Victor was guiding Yuuri out, keeping a firm arm around his waist. “I think we’re ready to return to the hotel,” the alpha suggested, his eyes resting on Yuuri filled with concern.

“I’ve ordered a car,” Yakov announced, straightening. “Let’s move towards the back entrance. I’d like to avoid reporters.”

Victor smiled in appreciation, looking towards his coach in thanks. “That sounds like a solid plan.” Turning back to Yuuri, he murmured, “Ready?”

Yuuri nodded, leaning into him although standing solidly on his own feet. “Yeah...let’s go.” He felt a hand in his and turned to catch Phichit’s eye, the familiar squeeze reassuring him. Lifting his eyes towards his coach, he saw the concern there. He offered a weak smile. “I’m going to be okay, Coach. I just...need to figure this out.”

The old coach nodded but that concern didn’t leave his expression as they drove back.

* * *

  
  


The elevator stopped on Yuuri and Phichit’s floor and Victor walked them both to their door. Pausing, he stood at the entrance as they both went inside. “I suppose…”

Yuuri rolled his eyes and grabbed his hand. “Come inside. I need to get a few things and then we can go somewhere by ourselves.” Turning to give Phichit a pointed glance, he added. “We need to talk. Alone.”

Victor nodded. They most definitely did need to talk. “Okay...I was thinking of room service? My room? If...you don’t think that’s too forward.”

Yuuri shook his head, already throwing things into a backpack. “I...I thought we’d go to your room.” He paused, pajamas in hand. Looking up at Victor questioning. “I think...I need to be close to you. Is this okay?”

The alpha swallowed and nodded once more, relief sweeping over him. “I feel the same. I don’t think I can rest without you near now that our path has crossed once more.” He had been prepared to beg to sleep on the terrible little sofa in their room just to keep close to Yuuri. “Do you trust me?”

Yuuri shoved the pajamas into his bag, feeling confidence in old memories now confirmed to be real. “Of course. You took care of me then...made sure I was safe. You will now.”

Victor sighed with relief. Meeting Phichit’s eyes, he added further assurance for his friend, “I’ll take care of him.”

The younger omega cocked an eyebrow.  _ Honey please, once Yuuri gets it through his head how into him you are, he’s gonna eat you alive. But I’ll let your alpha think it’s in charge.  _ “I know...because if you don’t, I won’t be the only one kicking your ass. You’ll have Mari on you.”

Victor huffed a nervous laugh. Yuuri groaned but did not deny it, threw his bag over his shoulder and looped a hand through Victor’s arm. “Let’s go.” Turning towards his friend, he added, “Phichit, I’ll text you.”

His friend pulled him in for a hug whispering, “Details and pics.” Yuuri tried to look stern at his friend who simply smiled, “You two have a good time, but not too good.”

Victor blushed as he held the door open for Yuuri and they departed.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri dropped his bag on the dresser while Victor called room service to order a meal. He didn’t really care what Victor ordered. He was a bundle of nerves and he’d only force it down, whatever it was, knowing that it was going to bubble up again. He was drawn to the bed, crawling across the surface, he settled in the middle, on his knees, his sweater falling off of his shoulder. He wasn’t trying to be seductive, but it was the perfect naive innocence of natural beauty that always swept Victor off his feet. Yuuri glanced up as Victor’s voice stuttered in the phone, catching those blue eyes watching him.

Victor hung up. “I ordered the lemon garlic salmon and asparagus. I figured neither of us had much appetite and could share.”

Yuuri nodded, knotting his hands in the sheet and letting it go only to repeat the action. “I don’t think I could eat much.”

Victor took two steps toward the bed, stopped, reached for the chair and sat it next to the broad expanse. Taking a seat, he spread his hands out. “Do you want to talk now?”

Yuuri nodded then shook his head then finally settled on a nod. “I need to talk...and listen. But what I need most is a story. What...what really happened?”

Victor sighed, leaning back pulling a knee up and wrapping his hands around it. “I was presenting as an alpha and on the way to the medic I found you in a panic. I took you along to the medic and we ended up falling asleep. You had presented as omega. I remember being amazed, I was young to present and you even more so. My coach was furious, Minako was in a state. The medic was good but not a doctor, and offered as much information as possible. That’s when I first heard about it, us being tied, sort of. Not that because we slept we were meant to be, but because we were meant to be, we slept, and imprinted on each other.

“When we got to Hasetsu, I could tell your mother was afraid.” Shaking his head, he corrected himself. “No, I didn’t realize it then but I’ve looked back at events over and over again. I felt her rejection keenly that day because...well, I lost my parents the year before. I wanted a family and I think, childishly, I assumed I would just jump into yours. I had hoped...but it wasn’t to be. I kept reaching out until she told me not to call and to leave you alone until...until you turned eighteen.”

Yuuri crawled a little closer, not quite in Victor’s reach but closer. “But you...you didn’t reach out to me when I turned eighteen.”

Victor shook his head in agreement. “It...felt wrong, like I would be forcing my way back into your life, one that had, for you, just really started. You were in Detroit, skating, taking classes. I wanted to make sure that you lead the life you wanted, and that I didn’t take anything from you. I knew if I just waited our paths would cross...I made myself wait.”

“But...how did you know what was going on with me?”

Victor shrugged. “Minako...my coach gave me her number after the final cut off by your mother. She...well, looking back, she shared more than she should have.” He smiled, “But after, I found pictures of you and video taken by your friend. Yuuko. I’ll have to thank her one day.” He met Yuuri’s eyes, biting his lip before asking, “Is that creepy?”

Yuuri’s head fell back as he studied the ceiling a bit. “If it is, then we’re both creeps. I have watched everyone of your skates countless times, interviews, hell I even had Phichit follow all of your friend’s IG accounts so I could catch all the glimpses of you. I just...I didn’t know I had any claim to these things.”

“Well, I didn’t either...I just knew we had a past. I also...Minako said you didn’t know we were real. I didn’t know what to do with that.”

Yuuri moved a little closer, his hand reaching for Victor’s. The alpha put down his knee, unlacing his fingers to slide over the other’s wrist, brushing over the scent gland. Yuuri’s eyes closed, a soft gasp slipping from his lips. They remained frozen for a moment before Yuuri began again, his voice quiet. “Part of me could never let you go. I was in a constant state of confusion. I think...my anxiety got worse after that, not because of you but because everything, what my mother was saying, what I knew in my heart...it contradicted.” Meeting Victor’s eyes, he added, “I’m angry. Not with you but with the adults in my life. They were supposed to keep me safe but they lied to me. This could have been handled so differently.”

Victor nodded in agreement. “Yakov...he tried to take care of me. I lived in the dorms but he was the closest thing to a father figure. But...he’s never had kids of his own. So I guess I expected mistakes from him. I had several rinkmates that looked after me. Honestly, though, I was raising myself. I didn’t always know the right thing to do. As I got older, though, I knew I didn’t want to mess things up with you. I needed...things to fall back together. Naturally.”

Yuuri’s mind ran to all the memories of the lie being covered and created, “I remember my mother redirecting me every time I’d bring you up. Minako looked annoyed. I was caught in the middle of their disagreement. Still, making me doubt my own memory, making me second guess my own instincts...my mother effectively gaslighted me. I’m angry. I’m most angry with her, but also my father for not stepping in, Minako...I don’t even know what I think about her right now. Out of everyone...Mari…”

Victor knew of his elder sister, but assumed she would be outside the lie. “She likely didn’t know.”

The brown eyes narrowed thinking it over. “You’re probably right...she would have called them out. She hates lying and she’s always looked out for me. I just...why?”

Victor shook his head. He didn’t know. Dropping his eyes to their hands, now joined, fingers caressing the palm. “I always wondered if I wasn’t good enough. Maybe I was too broken.”

Yuuri’s hands tightened on his instinctively. “Ridiculous. You were a lonely boy.”

“I...I’ve messed up. I want to be honest with you. Always. But you should know. I-I’ve had other lovers.”

Yuuri closed his eyes as he worked out what he wanted to say. “Oh, Victor we all have a right to a past.” He smiled a little thinking of how he hated to think of the silver hair caressed by any other hand, “I remember feeling jealous at one point but then, I had no claim to you.”

Victor looked up, ready to argue. “But Yuuri…”

The other shook his head, raising one hand to touch his fingers gently to the alpha’s lips to stop him. “No, listen. We made a connection as children. That was not a promise. At most, we could have offered the other friendship only. I had no claim on you nor you me…”

Victor swallowed, his voice feeling thick. “It...it always felt wrong. I was lost, lonely, needing to fill this hollow space in my chest. Nothing worked. My dog Makkachin helped more than anything, but I couldn’t…” He flailed here, not knowing the right word until Yuuri finished it for him, his voice soft.

“Connect. I understand that. I had trouble forming relationships beyond friendships for the same reason. I knew...I wanted you. I just didn’t know...I felt inadequate. Why would you want me?”

Victor laughed bitterly, reaching for Yuuri, drawing him closer. “So so many reasons. You’re all I wanted. Nobody was good enough. I eventually gave up trying, choosing to abstain from other partners. I just wanted you. Anything else wouldn’t satisfy me. At least...not until...I needed to know if you would want me, too. And I was terrified you would not, that something was broken in me that would send you running.”

Yuuri shifted further, moving into his lap, fingers dancing up the side of his face, unsure, his breath shaky. “I-I want you,” he whispered, the confession falling from his lips just before they closed the distance, Victor’s arms wrapped around Yuuri, gripping into that sweater while lips found one another, shy kisses, slowly melting into something more, Yuuri opening up to him and surprising himself as a soft moan escaped.

The knock on the door brought them back to their senses, blinking at one another then backing up. It was too much, too fast...yet not enough after an eternity. Yuuri scurried back to his place in the center of the bed even as Victor stood up, a lingering glance towards the younger man before turning towards the door.

The hotel employee handed over the tray of food and if he noticed Victor’s wrecked appearance, he didn’t let it show. Victor thanked him, carried the tray inside, and placed it on the table. “We should eat.”

Yuuri nodded in agreement and it seemed more doable after their talk. He crawled across the bed and allowed Victor to guide him to the second chair, holding it for him until he was seated. They shared the dish, talking instead about skating, sharing their favorite moments.

“Out of all of the programs, though, I found yours the most breathtaking,” Victor insisted.

Yuuri’s fork nearly fell from his hand and he nervously set it down, his hands going up to hide his face.

Hands gently pried them away. “Yuuri, are you okay?”

“You can’t...I’m not...I was not…” He thought of all the skaters out there, he was the filler skater, the one there that commercials interrupted. “How can you say that with Chris the sex god, and JJ the loudest Canadian on Earth?”

Victor chuckled softly, letting his forehead lean against Yuuri’s. “I have been a fan for some time. I have your last twelve official posters framed and hung in my apartment. I think this year’s are my favorite, though. The way you capture the music in your movements is a thing of beauty.”

Yuuri’s face burned with a blush, “Y-you have my posters?”

Victor nodded, his fingers stroking Yuuri’s hand. They were close and Yuuri’s scent stirred nervously but there was something else underlying, something Victor wanted to explore. Yuuri leaned in first and Victor found himself falling back into the kiss, gathering Yuuri to him once more.

As they broke apart, Yuuri dropped his eyes shyly. “I’m not normally this forward. You just...you make me feel safe.”

“You  _ are  _ safe with me, my Yuuri. In fact, I’d prefer it if you set the pace. I don’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable.”

Yuuri swallowed, nodding even as he felt shaken. “I...I don’t know...I’ve never…” He trailed off in embarrassed frustration, covering his face.

Victor reached out and patiently pried Yuuri’s hands away once more. Holding his eyes, he stated, “That is why it’s important for you to set the pace. It’s been...awhile for me. I’m not going to lie. I was probably eighteen or nineteen when I realized that wasn’t what I wanted. But...you are in the more vulnerable position. It’s my job to make sure you feel safe.”

Yuuri scrunched one shoulder up, his cheek going against it as he looked down and off to the side. “I...I’m not weak, you don’t need to protect me from things.”

Victor chuckled warmly. “I never said you were. I look forward to seeing your power on display. But...this isn’t about that. I protect you because I know you’re protecting me. This is more than our bodies, it’s our hearts. Just because I’ve had sex doesn’t mean that I’m not vulnerable. This is about experience and emotional readiness.”

Yuuri chewed his lower lip as he processed that. “I...don’t know when...what if I want to...sooner?”

Victor felt himself swooning, the idea of Yuuri taking him right then and there was everything he wanted, but he knew the other man might not be ready. “I would love to tonight if that was what you wanted...I’ve been waiting for you for such a long time. But I want  _ you  _ to be sure. I will wait an eternity for you.”

Yuuri turned back to his plate and played around with the salmon and rice. “I need...I need to think but I know...I’d like to spend the night. It took so long to get here.”

“There is no obligation implied with you staying here.”

They finished eating and cleared the dishes. The day had been long and Yuuri’s fainting spell and panic attack left him even more drained. They each checked in with their coaches and prepared for bed. Yuuri sent a single text to Phichit promising to talk tomorrow and then turned his phone off before his friend could send a barrage of texts back.

Victor was already stretched out on the bed with the blanket turned back when Yuuri came out of the bathroom. He shifted back and forth on his socked feet before running and diving into the bed, curling into a tiny ball on one side. The sound of Victor’s happy giggles at the impish act was music. Yuuri wondered what other wonderful noises he could make the Russian illicit. He could feel the bed shift and then the blankets were tucked around him before the lamp was turned off.

* * *

  
  


Celestino stared at the contact in his phone. He didn’t know what he would say to the woman who once held his heart, who disappeared without warning leaving him in the shreds of his marriage. His heart broke twice that day. Since then, she’d kept him at arm’s length.

Sending the call through, he knew he had to do this. He needed to see to his student and that meant he had to do his own emotional work so that he could be there for Yuuri. Minako answered on the third ring.

“Is everything okay?” Her voice sounded alarmed. Celestino usually didn’t call during a competition and always made himself scarce when she came to see Yuuri. They’d been dancing around this since the Italian coach had taken on his student.

“Y-yes...no...it really isn’t. And I think you know why…”

She was quiet on the other end and he knew her, could see her weighing her options. Finally, she responded, “They met.”

He grimaced, every last hope that she was somehow blameless in this died with those two words. “They did...and the question that keeps coming to me...why would you do this? Why would you keep this from him?”

He could almost see her half shrug, squirming on the other end. She didn’t do well under scrutiny and often would try to back herself out. When she spoke, he felt a bit of pride in that she didn’t follow that habit. “I-I wanted to tell him, everything, immediately. His mother...she’s my best friend and  _ his mother _ . It was her call as it was her son. She decided it was best not to tell. But...so many times I started to tell him. And then when he turned eighteen, I thought Victor would tell him but he didn’t. I didn’t know what to do.” She grew quiet before admitting, “I should have told him. Is he...is he okay?”

He ran his large hand through his hair. “Honestly, Mina...he’s shell-shocked. He’s with Victor now. They are talking. But I keep thinking about all of the psychological damage. That boy has anxiety and this had to have made it worse. And the doctors, all those doctors telling him he was mourning a lost mate and he shrugged it off. He could have been getting the help he needed and this lie kept him from that.”

“I-I know. I tried to get Hiroko to talk to him or to let me talk to him.”

“I know you are loyal to your friend. However, in this case, you should have followed your heart in this. That boy needed someone to stand up for him. Now he’s got to work through all of this, clean up the mess that you helped to make...and I’ve got to figure out how to get him competition ready in the middle of this crisis.”

She was quiet before admitting, “I messed up.”

Celestino rubbed his eyes, “You did...and honestly, I’m surprised. I thought I knew you better.” Then he remembered a rainy day in November and a note and finding little left over bits of her around, a scarf, a brush. The ghost that had destroyed him and vanished.  _ Did I ever really know you? _

“Y-you do...I just thought...I hoped she would come around. I kept trying to get her to…” She paused and he could picture her closing her eyes and reworking her thoughts. “I’m making excuses. I should have told him the truth. At least when he had his first heat. Definitely before he left for Detroit. So many times I almost...but I didn’t. I don’t know what to say.”

“There will be a lot of repairs that will need to be made due to this. I think you need to get ready. If I know Yuuri, you’re all going to have to work your way back into his life. And that boy...Victor...he’s fiercely protective of him.”

“He won’t hurt him,” Minako whispered, her voice wet.

“I know...and if you knew that, you should have been straight with the boy.” Celestino closed his eyes. He hated to hurt her. There was so much pain between them already. “I’m sorry, Mina...really I am. But my loyalty lies with my student, and I’m worried about Yuuri. I watched over him...like he was yours. I knew he was important to you, that you were like an aunt or a second mother to him. He always spoke fondly of you. That’s why this hurts so much.”

He heard her sob on the other end of the phone. Finally she said, “I have to go, Tino...but...I heard you. I really did.” The phone went dead. Celestino sat on the edge of the bed. The emotions running through him forced him to admit what he’d been refusing to deal with all along.  _ I need to break up with Jules. _

* * *

  
  


Victor woke up pleasantly warm with a weight stretched over his body, a hand knotted into his shirt over his heart, a nose nuzzling into his neck, and a soft purring filling his ear and vibrating through his body. Tightening his arms around the smaller form, he scented Yuuri liberally, his hand sliding over the skin where Yuuri’s shirt rode up. He had to admit it was the most pleasant morning he’d ever woke up.  _ Let this be every morning for the rest of my life. Please, I promise to be so good. _

As Victor stilled, a soft whine came from the omega. “M-more. More scent,” he demanded poutily. 

Victor chuckled and complied, tugging at Yuuri’s shirt. “Can we take this off?”

Yuuri sat up sleepily and Victor was bereft of his warmth but was rewarded with the sight of Yuuri as he stripped away the t-shirt. He was gorgeous, porcelain skin showing every muscle of his defined and sculpted chest. Most skaters ignore the upper body, but it was clear that Yuuri focused on being well rounded and Viktor’s mouth practically watered at the sight. The omega moved into Victor’s arms and the alpha resumed scenting, relishing in the purring as Yuuri squirmed closer.

They each had early meetings with their coaches and soon Victor’s phone alarm went off forcing them to slip out of bed, although reluctantly. “You shower first,” Victor suggested.

Yuuri shook his head. “You probably have more to do. I’m pretty basic in the morning.”

True to his word, Victor learned Yuuri showered, moisturized, brushed his teeth and hair, dressed and was ready to go in twenty minutes whereas Victor took an hour. They headed to the elevator and when they reached the ground floor, they found both coaches at the same table waiting for them. Phichit practically beamed at him and patted the seat next to him. They ate quietly talking about the day coming up.

Several other skaters filtered in, sitting closest to their coach. Each coach updated the skaters on their schedules while breakfast was had. Then they broke apart and gathered their gear for the day. Each moment Phichit was in his friend’s ear and Yuuri would only respond with a very satisfied smile, which the Thai man loved and hated. A shuttle bus would be leaving in half an hour.

Yuuri leaned against Victor as they shared a seat over to the rink. They had practice that morning and performed that afternoon. Chris looked back and raised an eyebrow. “Do you have something new to share?”

Victor leaned his cheek against Yuuri’s head. “Not new...a long time coming.”

He looked from one to the other before stating, “There’s a story in this.”

Neither responded and soon he turned around to face the front. Once at the venue, everyone was busy.

* * *

  
  


Reporters were buzzing about the noted intimacy of Victor and Yuuri. A few tried to get them to discuss their relationship but neither would open up. It was new and private and needed to be protected. Then it was time to skate. Yuuri was nervous and Victor could feel it.

“Show me the skating you love best,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around Yuuri.

“What if I mess up?”

“Remember...I will love you even in your worst moments.” He pressed a kiss to Yuuri’s temple and let him go. Yuuri skated out in his flight for the five minute warm up. Circling first, then practicing jumps, noticing his surety in landing.  _ That’s new. Let’s hope it lasts. _

At the boards, Celestino gave him his normal pep talk, then stopped, worry creasing his brow. “I know...this is different. You are feeling a lot of conflicting emotions. But this program is something you created. It’s a part of you. Reach deep and find that. It can grow into what you’ve become.”

He was first in his flight, the most hated position. He backed away from the board as his name was announced. Yuuri skated around in a circle then found his starting position. He closed his eyes and thought about Victor and the long journey they took to find one another once more. The first notes of  [ The River Flow in You ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7maJOI3QMu0) played and Yuuri pushed off, turning into the music.  _ I will skate for you for now I know you are watching. _

He realized as he moved through the choreography that it wasn’t just their journey, constantly reaching for each other, it was his journey. Yuuri skated for himself, he loved the ice, he loved how it made him feel beautiful, he loved being able to express himself through the music and choreography. This was him and he was strong and powerful and beautiful. He knew deep down that he had so many emotions to process, so much anger to work through. But for the first time, he felt right, in the right place, the right moment. Victor had always been his guidepost and now he knew it was more than a fan’s obsession. He belonged to Yuuri just as much as Yuuri willingly belonged to him. And as he flowed from one movement to the next, he knew their lives would flow together, stronger for it.  _ I don’t know you...but I do. I know your scent, your kindness, your protectiveness. I am yours. I always have been. I always will be.  _ As the notes came to a close, he once more reached out, hoping he was facing Victor. His journey brought him to this place. To Victor, his alpha. 

He blinked as he broke his final pose, the audience erupting into loud applause, many standing. He was overwhelmed. He didn’t realize that the tears that now broke through were reflected in their faces. Skating towards his coach, he was wrapped in his JSF jacket and handed his guards, finally wrapped up in the strong steady arms of the man who had coached him to this moment.

“Do you think he saw me?” he asked softly.

“I think he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.” The coach settled his skater down in Kiss and Cry. He had never been prouder than at that moment, watching his skater come out to the other side of his crisis, stronger, more determined. He wasn’t naive enough to think that the work was finished. There would be plenty to do to put these two lives back in order. He was already determined to work with Victor’s coach to see that that happened. These two boys deserve to explore this relationship and to decide for themselves where they would go with it. He would protect this for them.

* * *

  
  


Victor turned as they announced Yuuri and couldn’t stop the draw. He needed to be closer, to be where he could see. He watched Yuuri skate in rapt beauty. He could feel the energy behind him, the audience as caught up in the program as he was.  _ This is you, my Yuuri. You did this. Without me. I want this so much for you. _

As Yuuri reached out, Victor could not help but reach back in the close of the program. When he drew his hand back, he kissed the finger where he hoped one day there would be a ring. His heart full, it was hard for Yakov to pull him back but he had to get ready. Yuuri would want him to skate his heart.

He knew Yuuri had been shuffled back to the green room by the time his flight took warm up, he hoped that Yuuri would be out to see his skate, he was fourth in his flight. Chris was on the ice skating. The previous two skaters hadn’t managed to dethrone Yuuri from first. He would make podium. Yuuri deserved podium.

As Chris exited and the floor was cleared, Victor was handing over his jacket and guards. It was time. He stepped out on the ice, turning to face his coach, the pink sheer fabric with gold accents fluttered around him. He commissioned this program with Yuuri in mind. He skated a few laps, then quickly transitioned to jumps, practicing a combination back camel sit spin while Chris’ scores were calculated and announced. He skated over to the boards and Yakov.

“I know what I need to do.”

“He’s still in first,” Yakov pointed out. “He will be pissed if you give it to him...and I will be pissed as well.”

Victor laughed at his coach’s warning. “I would never cheapen his win. He...he was beautiful, though.”

“Indeed he was. Now go. Show him a worthy answer to his program.”

Victor nodded, feeling his heart elated. Moving into his starting position, he listened for the initial notes to  [ Stammi Vicino ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IjMAGw2l3o) .  _ This is for you, my Yuuri...now that I’ve found you, I never want to let you go. _

* * *

  
  


Victor’s eyes looked up at the beauty that was his Yuuri. He had skated his heart out but Yuuri still beat him by a tenth of a point in PCS. Chris shook his head from his third place position, a fond smile on his lips. He leaned smirked across to him, “Silver really does look good on you.”

Yuuri’s hands clutched the medal, tears pouring down his face. He was in disbelief. It took him so long to arrive at this moment. And he knew Victor didn’t give it to him. Victor’s score had been two full points higher than his season’s best.

As they took a turn around the rink, Victor held onto Yuuri’s hand and reached back for Chris. This would be one of the best moments of his life and he wanted to hold onto it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. Tell me your thoughts.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On to St. Petersburg!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It takes a little work to shuffle a pair of transcontinental lives together.
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for the lovely edits. Much appreciated.

* * *

The evening lingered as Victor, Yuuri, and their coaches sat down to plan their next steps. Yuuri needed to finish college and had another year to go. He had a life in Detroit with goals to meet, and while both men were happy to be finally connected that didn’t mean Yuuri could lose himself in Victor, nor did Victor want that.

Victor stated unequivocally, “I have to go to Detroit.”

Yuuri was taken aback by Victor’s amazing ability to up and move. There were no carefully laid out plans, no second checking or second guessing in his life. He smiled at his alpha realizing he would be the adult in their relationship. “But my apartment is small and in a building designated for omega’s only,” Yuuri pointed out. He knew he wanted this, but they had to create the environment for it first.

Celestino steepled his fingers as he suggested, “Perhaps you can go with Victor to Russia while he ties up loose ends and gathers his things. I can return to Detroit with Phichit where we can start looking for an apartment suitable for the two of you. I know Phichit has had his eye on your room for some time and perhaps it’s time for you to move out of the dorms.”

Yuuri’s eyes moved to Victor’s, their hands lacing together. “I...I suppose it is. And I’ve got a year to go, sooo…”

“I can expedite Vitya’s paperwork,” Yakov added. “I know who to call. With it being a mating situation, they will cooperate.”

Yuuri nodded, but then turned sharply to his coach. “If I miss another week of class…”

“I will contact your professors on your behalf but you need to do the same. I know you can take care of any online obligations. If any of the professors grumble they can talk to the omega representative from the student life center and that will end their grumbling. As for your TA position, I’m sure you can make a call to your supervisor and she’ll work with you.” He was eager to be back home himself. He had his own unfinished business to deal with and breaking up was best done in person. He knew from experience.

If Yuuri noticed the detached way Celestino referred to Jules, he said nothing. 

Victor had been writing as they talked and turned the paper towards Celestino. “I’ve listed what we need in an apartment. Yuuri may want to add to this but I can easily afford two bedrooms…”

“ _ We _ ,” Yuuri interrupted. “I will do my part. I have a housing allowance. Find one that I can afford half of.”

Celestino smiled at the hint,  _ look for inexpensive. _ He then changed the subject, “I wasn’t sure with how things lay with your parents.”

Victor had witnessed Yuuri ignoring calls from home all weekend. It was something the alpha wanted to help Yuuri resolve but for now, it was clear the omega needed time and space. Their relationship was too new for him to start offering advice on how to handle family.

Yuuri ignored the turn and pushed back to the original topic. “I have a budget I live on that Coach helped me put together. I have enough to cover my part of the rent. It’s based on sponsor funds. My parents...they cover my tuition. They insisted on that. I suppose...I’ll just leave that alone for now.” He shook his head and looked up at his coach.

“If there is a problem, I’m sure we can figure something out,” Celestino pointed out. “We do have some new offers to look over since you took gold.”

Yuuri blinked at that. “We do? Oh…”

“Sponsors love medalists,” Victor pointed out. “You deserve this.”

Yuuri shivered. This was something new...but greater independence couldn’t come at a better time.

* * *

  
  


**Okaasan/ Yuuri, why aren’t you answering your calls?**

**Mari/ Mom and Dad are upset you aren’t answering calls. What’s going on?**

**Minako/ I’ve talked to Victor...and yes, I’ve been talking to Victor for some time now. We need to get together to talk this out.**

**Yuuko/ I’m so proud of you! I know you must be crazy busy. And OH MY GOD are you dating Victor? I can’t wait until we can catch up.**

That last message made him smile but the others gave him pause. He had so many emotions boiling under his skin and he knew in his heart he needed to wait, to sort them out. Victor looked over his shoulder and he leaned into the alpha. Yuuri was sorting through his things so that he could send the unnecessary things back with his coach. Victor had their flights worked out and talked about all of the things he wanted to show Yuuri.

“You know, Mari had nothing to do with this.” Victor said peaking at the screen.

Yuuri pulled his phone comically away from the man, “You can read my messages?”

The heart-shaped smile beamed, “I learned everything I could to be a good mate for you. I always wanted you to feel at home when we finally met.”

Yuuri considered those words and didn’t know what to do with them. He moved back to the original statement. “If I talk to Mari, she talks to  _ them _ . And why did you talk to Minako?” Yuuri’s eyes were now sharp as they turned on Victor.

He leaned in and kissed Yuuri’s cheek. “Because I love you and Minako was there when it happened and reached out to me when I was a lonely teenager.”

Yuuri made a face. “That sounds wrong...and no talking to my family until I’m ready.”

Victor sighed but nodded. “If that’s how you want to handle it.”

“It is. I’m mad at her, too, you know.”

“Fair. I will hold off on the communication.”

* * *

  
  
  


Yuuri looked around the city, his eyes wide as he took it in through the car windows. “I feel so small and backwards, coming from the tiny town of Hasetsu.”

“But you lived in Detroit, and that’s a big city too.”

Yuuri huffed, “I live on a small campus in Detroit, it’s really not the same thing.”

Victor reached for Yuuri, a hand sliding into the omega’s, squeezing it reassuringly. “I sometimes feel small and lost in this city as well. But then you get drawn into a group here or there and find a place...for a time, anyway.”

Yuuri leaned back into him as he considered those words. “Like when I first went to Detroit to live. It took some time to find my feet. Have you...always lived here?”

Victor hummed as he thought back. “My parents moved here when I was quite small, my father took a promotion. My mother was excited because I could dance. Then I discovered the ice.”

“I know what you mean...I remember being introduced to the ice and meeting Yuuko the first time during those early lessons.” Yuuri turned to look at Viktor, the blue eyes were lit from within. “It gets in your blood.”

“It really does. And you chose a career, a major that would allow you to continue.”

He nodded and then shrugged, hugging himself as he thought about his choices. “I did...but I also wanted the option to change paths. I...I want kids. Later. And I want to be home with them as much as possible. Coaching figure skating is demanding, especially if it is competitive at the level we are involved.”

“And if I coached?” Victor asked, needing to know where their future would lead.

Yuuri shrugged. “I think if I was someplace I felt comfortable and supported, I could let you out of my reach.” He blushed. “I sound so possessive.”

“Maybe I want you to be. I’ve been alone a long time, it’s going to be nice to have someone want me around. Do laundry, cook together, argue over grocery lists with.”

Yuuri loved the sound of it, but there was something far off in that goal. “I don’t even know…” He took a deep breath and blew it out, his lips vibrating in frustration. “What if...what if we don’t work?”

Victor leaned back, his eyes looking towards the ceiling but not really seeing his surroundings. “I think...I need to know before I could let go. I really want us to try, though. We have to be highly compatible in order for us to imprint on one another.”

Yuuri looked away, then turned to settle in close, his fingers seeking out Victor’s once more. “I...want this to work. But I also want you to be honest with me.”

“Okay, I will.” Victor’s tone changed, he was suddenly sad. Yuuri turned to see a pained expression on his face, “That tie you wore at the banquet is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. Burn it please.”

Yuuri elbowed him gently in the rib, “I’m serious. I don’t know how we undo what has happened between us but if bonded pairs can divorce, I know...you could be free of me if you wanted.”

Victor’s heart felt heavy with this conversation, a necessary one but difficult as he worked through his thoughts. “It would be difficult...let’s go into this like it will work. I want this to work, too. I know there are a lot of unknowns but relationships are 1% attraction, and 99% hard work.”

“That’s genius, idiot,” Yuuri giggled and that seemed to break the tension that had started to build.

“Meh, it could apply to a number of things. I still think it applies...and I  _ am  _ attracted to you, my Yuuri, my Yuusha.”

The omega shivered in his arms but then turned as the car slowed down, pulling up in front of a building. “Is this it?”

Victor nodded, pressing a kiss into Yuuri’s hair. “It is...my home, such that it is.”

Yuuri turned to him, a palm cupping his cheek. “ _ Our _ home...no more  _ my  _ home,  _ your  _ home. We’re doing this together, Vitya. I’m your Yuuri, after all.” Yuuri’s smile, soft and shy, could light up the night in a Russian winter. The warmth that bloomed in Victor’s heart would keep frostbite away for years.

They got out and soon had their luggage in tow. “Do you feel up to dealing with Makkachin?”

“Your dog?” Yuuri’s eyes lit up and he was bouncing up and down on his feet in excitement. “Yes! Is she here?”

“One of my neighbors looks after her in my absence. It’s early enough we could stop in and retrieve her.”

“Let’s...I want to know her. I hope she will love Vicchan. He’s well socialized.”

Victor chuckled, pressing another kiss into Yuuri’s hair. “And so is she. I think they will do fine together.”

They were bedraggled and worn when they knocked on Victor’s neighbor’s door. She was warm in the greeting although her words were limited to Russian. She fussed over Yuuri who only caught a few phrases. Four semesters of Russian in an American university did not leave one conversational. But Yuuri tried, small phrases tumbling out of his lips in heavily accented Russian while Victor preened with pride.

As they continued down the hall, Victor murmured, “I didn’t know you spoke Russian.”

“Very little, and very badly. Perhaps I will improve while living with you.”

Victor unlocked the door and Makka darted inside, ready to explore familiar places and make sure they smelled the same. Yuuri watched her go, a fond smile on his lips. “We got dogs at the same time.”

Victor hummed. “That wasn’t me. Well, not exactly. I mean, after I got Makka and Yakov saw how she helped, he recommended the same to Minako. So…”

“I got Vicchan.” Yuuri hugged himself as he thought about the lovable poodle that pulled him out of his head. “I guess...we should go inside.”

Yuuri felt  _ off  _ in Victor’s space. Even more so, Victor looked off. The surfaces were too clean. Even the posters of Yuuri were too well preserved. He ran his hand over the empty mantle. It was as if they were in the showcase house of a realtor. “Do you live here?”

Victor looked surprised by the question. “Yes, this is my apartment...what do you mean?”

Yuuri frowned as he turned around, taking it in. No personal pictures, no collections or even a mess. “Where...I don’t...you’re not here.”

Victor took in the space, now looking at it through Yuuri’s eyes and seeing the coldness of the surfaces. It was a magazine cover, professionally decorated. He had never been invested. “It...was a place to sleep,” he admitted quietly. “To keep designer clothes in, but never to have friends over, never to have a lover follow me back. I...lived at the rink. I slept here. Makka was with me wherever I went but...I hated to be alone and this place seemed to scream that aloneness. If I could escape, I jumped at it, going to hang out with friends, out to eat. So...I guess I’m not really here.”

Yuuri nodded, not looking at him but with a wrinkle in his brow, thinking. “It is good you’re coming home with me. You need a home. I spend a lot of time on the ice but I have a home. I may be moving, but I know how to make a home.” Turning back to Victor, he added, “You do not have to be alone anymore.”

Victor reached for him, pulling him into his embrace. “My Yuuri,” he murmured. Kisses found Yuuri’s temple, then nose and finally his lips. As they broke apart, he whispered, “My home, my family.”

“Always,” Yuuri promised. He had no more doubts, he knew he belonged with this man and this man belonged with him. “Now…” Turning around, he hummed, heading for the kitchen. “What do we have to eat?”

Victor rubbed the back of his head, making a face. “Delivery?”

Yuuri’s eyes widened. “Vitya, you don’t cook?”

He shook his head and shrugged. “Basics. Eggs and toast. I always grabbed something on the way to or from the rink. And well, there is a cafeteria there.”

The kitchen was amazing, a freezer and fridge for a family of five, an oven that would be the envy of any chef and Yuuri learned quickly why they were so clean. “Oh, Vitya…” Yuuri shook his head in disbelief.

He shrugged. “I was never really...my mother...who would teach me?”

Yuuri hummed thoughtfully. “Phichit and I figured out quite a bit using the internet. Youtube?”

“I feel judged,” the alpha accused. 

“A little bit I am.” He watched Victor pout then turned, his smile warm. “I’m teasing, Vitya. Let’s do things your way...for now.”

“And maybe...you can show me how to cook once we get to our new apartment?”

“I’d love to...we can cook together. Like a family.” Yuuri hummed happily. “Now...I want a shower.”

“Through my bedroom.” Victor pointed towards the door on the right. “The washer and dryer are in there as well.”

“Good,” Yuuri answered, half way through the door. “I need to do some laundry.”

“I’ll call for dinner.”

“Okay,” Yuuri called from somewhere in the bedroom.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri came out as their dinner arrived and Victor’s breath caught at the beautiful man with a warm hoodie in the same colors as his JSF jacket just past his ass, a pair of athletic black boxers, and thigh high legwarmers over a pair toeless dance socks. His hair was already falling out of the combed back style and whisping around his eyes and blue-rimmed glasses. Warm eyes met Victor’s with a shy smile as a partner.

“I thought I should stretch after...you know, it’s been a long trip…” He tugged at the hoodie, now self-conscious under Victor’s regard.

Victor finally found himself, nodding, words not quite recovered. Focusing on the food, he laid it out on the bar and pulled back a bar stool for the other. “I...I ordered from a diner. Some Russian comfort food. I hope that’s okay.”

Yuuri nodded, jumping up on the stool and answering, “I love trying different cuisines...and besides, I need to learn what you like so we can figure out how to make it.”

Victor’s eyes lit up and his smile erupted into its famous heart-shape. “You want to...you’d do that for me?”

Yuuri nodded, unwrapping foil that held dark bread. He reached for the butter pats that came with the order and spread it across the roll. “Yes, but we’ll have to figure out how to work it around our diet. I fluctuate badly if I don’t watch it.”

Victor knew this, he’d seen the photos and could tell when Yuuri was stressed or getting ready for his heat. And there was always that tingle in the back of his spine close to Yuuri’s heat. He wondered if the omega sensed him. “I think you are adorable with a few extra pounds.”

Yuuri leveled a stare at him, eyebrows raised. “Maybe...and perhaps after I retire. However, you and I both know it would keep me from being competitive. I do want to compete for a while longer.”

“I want that as well,” Victor murmured, properly chastised as he opened the next dish. “This is a  [ salad ](https://valentinascorner.com/olivier-salad-recipe-russian-potato-salad/) ?” he suggested.

“McDonald’s sells salads.” Yuuri snorted at those words. “Salad doesn’t mean healthy...you should know that.” Taking another bite, turning the fork so the tines slid downward as he pulled it from his lips, he considered the content. “Really, we could switch out the ham for chicken...maybe...if that’s a done thing and we could use a lighter mayo. Maybe less mayo.”

The alpha shrugged. He’d never really been overly conscious of what he ate. “I guess I will learn. Maybe tomorrow we can try cabbage rolls. Or pirozhki. Maybe pierogi or borscht or…”

Yuuri chuckled at Victor’s excitement. “You enjoy your food although you don’t know exactly what’s good for you and what’s not?”

“I have nutritionists that decide that. I treat myself once or twice a week when I start missing...when I’d get homesick.”

Yuuri’s expression softened. Reaching out, he squeezed Victor’s hand. “I hope...I want this to work. I don’t want you to ever be alone again.”

* * *

  
  


Victor was nervous at bedtime. They had shared a hotel bed but there were spoken and unspoken boundaries. This was more personal. Would Yuuri be comfortable? Would Yuuri be afraid?

The omega called Makka after him, and crawled across the bed with ease, kicking under the down comforter. Looking up at Victor through his lashes, a blush on his cheeks, he asked, “Can I...do you mind if I build a nest? I can be quick.”

That struck Victor deep in his chest. “Oh...o-of course. I didn’t...do you need anything?”

Yuuri shrugged. “In Detroit, we’ll order a fresh kit from my nesting service but here, we can work with what you have on hand. Just blankets, sheets, extra pillows. Whatever you have available. And…” He paused, glancing away with a blush. “Maybe some of our laundry. Until our scent fully seeps in.”

Victor nodded, “I...I’ve never been involved in this. I knew. I’ve seen pictures of your n...Phichit is very open about posting…”

Yuuri laughed softly, even as he began rearranging the bed. He knew well how free Phichit was with photos and videos. However, Yuuko was just as bad. “Okay. Well...go. I need what you can find.”

Victor jumped and then with apologies, ran off to search for what he could. Yuuri smiled fondly after him. He really was hopeless. 

Within half an hour, Yuuri had a low walled nest that would serve for the duration of their stay. Makka was sniffing around the circle, this oddity in her world. However, her master’s new human seemed to be happy so she would be happy. Making a couple of turns, she settled in at the foot of the bed in one corner.

Victor looked nervous, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. Yuuri motioned for him to climb in. “It’s  _ our  _ nest,” he added in invitation.

As Victor settled in next to Yuuri, he felt something inside of him click. A rightness for the first time in this apartment. “I...I haven’t been in a nest since...my mother…”

Yuuri pulled him to his chest, feeling the alpha snuggle his cheek into the warmth. “We will make a home, Vitya...I will show you,” he reassured the alpha, fingers carding through silver hair. Victor’s breathing was tight and then relaxed under Yuuri’s ministrations. “I may be angry with my mother but she showed me how to make a home.”

“I’m so glad I found you...all of those years ago.”

* * *

  
  


Victor groaned as the alarm went off and Yuuri protested with a “No!”

“I have to meet with Yakov,” the alpha murmured, pushing up and pressing a kiss in Yuuri’s hair.

Yuuri burrowed further into the sheets with a huff. Victor chuckled in response. “I suppose you could stay here with Makka.”

A muffled, “Kay,” escaped the covers.

As Victor studied the fluff of Yuuri’s hair not under the blanket fondly, he reflected on some of the best sleep he could remember having. The snooze alarm went off and he heard a huff under the blanket. Chuckling, he turned it off for sure this time and made his way out of the nest.

* * *

  
  


Yakov slid two more forms across the desk and Victor signed them with a flourish. “You really should read things before you sign them,” the coach grumbled.

“It’s a visa form. I’ve filled out enough of them, I don’t even have to think about it.”

“The other is a declaration of mate. You need to get Yuuri to sign it before I can finish this paperwork. I’m surprised you didn’t bring him with you.”

Victor paused, realizing he would have to be more responsible in the future. There would be moments where his actions would affect Yuuri and therefore he would have to have the omega’s input. “Well, I didn’t know he had to be here and he seemed very reluctant to leave the bed.”

Yakov waved his hands on that. “I don’t need to know…”

Laughing, something Victor was getting used to, he answered, “Not like that. He’s not a morning person.”

Yakov raised an eyebrow at that, “Chose the wrong sport.”

* * *

  
  


Yuuri finally called Yuuko while Victor was away. “H-hi,” he greeted shyly.

“Yuuri! Oh my god! What’s going on?!” Her voice was a mixture of excitement and relief.

Yuuri relaxed, laughing at his childhood best friend. “It’s a long story and I feel like all of the missing puzzle pieces of my life have fallen together.”

She breathed out and he could hear her moving out of the earshot of her children, “Tell me about it...I’m dying to know.”

“Well...it turns out when I was nine years old, presenting unexpectedly at Fukuoka, and Victor  _ was  _ there. He got me to a safe place. H-he was presenting, too...as an alpha. So...when we couldn’t find help, he wrapped me up in his arms and kept me safe. When we both came out of it, Yakov and Minako were there and well...I guess when they told my parents, my mother wasn’t too happy.”

“Why not?”

Yuuri shrugged before answering, “I don’t know. I...I haven’t talked to them. I’m not ready. So please…”

Yuuri didn’t even have to finish that sentence. “Don’t worry, I won’t say a word. But that’s extraordinary. So...when he kept you safe, did you become...important to him?”

“I think the word you’re looking for is  _ imprinted  _ and yes. That’s why I’ve always felt a connection to him. They even have a word for it. Cocooned.”

“Oh...that sounds so...romantic.” She crooned into the phone, he had always known she was a romantic at heart.

Yuuri huffed at that. “Maybe. But...Yuuko, I’m worried about him. He’s been lonely for so long...and I was taken away from him…”

“Is he...unusually possessive?” concern filtering into her voice. She was his first best friend and knew him best, loved him the most, and would argue with Phichit until they both died.

Yuuri hummed before deciding no. “I don’t think so but every little thing, the normal things from letting someone in your life and making a family...they are all big things to him. I don’t want to mess up and hurt him.”

She was quiet for a moment before asking, “Do you want this, Yuuri?”

A smile found his lips right away. “Very much so.”

“Then just relax in it. He may need you to show him the way but that’s okay. I know you will be a strong partner.”

“Thanks, Yuuko.” He felt much better. Now that the formalities were behind them, he asked, “How are the girls?”

“Oh, Yuuri...they are so excited…” And then she told him about their reactions, seeing Yuuri on the podium and the way Victor fussed over him. “They are romantic souls.”

“Very loud romantic souls,” Yuuri teased.

She sighed before saying, “Because they love you. You’re their favorite uncle.” And given that both Yuuko and Takeshi were only children, their only uncle. 

* * *

  
  


“What do you think about this?” Yuuri asked, holding his phone out.

Victor began looking through the pictures, humming thoughtfully. “That’s a lot of carpet.”

Yuuri hummed at that. “I’d prefer no carpet, to be honest.”

Victor sighed, “Good we agree on important things like interior design. We can get a rug but I hate carpet.”

“Okay, I’ll text Phichit that it’s a no.”

* * *

  
  


“Our paperwork is submitted. Yakov is walking it through.”

Yuuri hummed, listening but trying to focus on the virtual lecture playing in his opposite ear.

“What do you want…”

Yuuri huffed, pausing the video and removing the earbud. “Vitya, I need to get through this if I’m going to stay on top of my work.”

The alpha winced. “Sorry...I will get better.”

“I know.” He kissed the tip of Victor’s nose then replaced the earbud and started once more with his lecture.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri accepted the Skype call from his friend Jules and smiled at her in greeting, “Hi, Yuuri. Phichit told me you were looking for a place. I may know of something.”

He saw her face and could tell she didn’t look happy but he bit his tongue. He tilted his head, his brow wrinkling oddly. “Phichit? Coach didn’t tell you?”

“We’re...not exactly talking. Yuuri, he broke it off with me.”

The omega blinked in surprise. “I’m sorry...I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine. We’re friends regardless of all of that. He said something about unfinished business.” Yuuri could hear in her voice that she wasn’t fine and they were definitely not going to be friends.  _ I need to get back to Detroit, urban family needs me. _ “And well...my family didn’t exactly approve of us. It was always awkward.”

“There are plenty of great guys out there...plenty who are not old,” Yuuri teasingly pointed out.

She shrugged. “I mean, I’m going to finish my studies and focus on me for now. It was fun while it lasted, but I honestly never expected it to last as long as it did. I think we were just lazy-dating. We were comfortable with each other.”

Yuuri frowned at this. He knew his friend, she took care of him those first years in Detroit. Still, there was little he could do from Russia. “Well, we will have to catch up when I get home. Speaking of...you said something about a place.”

“Yes! There is an apartment open in my building. Laminate floors. Two bedrooms. You’ve been in my apartment. It’s a two bedroom version of that.”

Yuuri loved it immediately. Jule’s place was gorgeous one of those old buildings that had gone up in the 50s and been renovated recently. “Oh, that actually sounds good. Can you get me your manager’s contact information?”

“I sure can. I’m texting it to you, now. Call him.”

* * *

  
  


Victor and Yuuri viewed the pictures the manager sent them and looked over the lease agreement. Finally, Victor agreed. They needed a place and this was the best one they found. Yuuri transferred the funds for the deposit and first month’s rent. Victor made a few calls of his own. Soon they were under lease.

* * *

  
  


“Victor, we do not need a marble bust in Detroit. Why the hell do you even have a marble bust?” They were sorting through the things that Victor would be shipping to their new apartment and what would stay in St. Petersburg.

Victor frowned as he studied it trying to remember. “I think I purchased it under the influence of alcohol, or maybe I stole it. Right after that, Yakov started taking my cards when I drank.”

Yuuri frowned at that. “Do you...drink a lot?”

Victor shrugged. “I...did.”

“Did...how recent?” Yuuri looked up at him, warning signals screaming in the back of his mind. He had watched his father slip into a happy drunken state on many occasions. Minako could be worse. 

He turned away, not wanting to lie but afraid of Yuuri’s response. “It’s just...I didn’t know how to fill that void. It should be fine now.”

“I’m happy to be in your life, and you in mine. But Victor you need to be enough for you.” Yuuri thinned his lips, his arms slipping around his waist, pressing his cheek in the center of Victor’s back. “I want you to promise me that if it continues to be a problem, you will be willing to work on it. I don’t mind social drinking on occasion. I don’t mind a celebratory drink. And getting drunk on the rare occasion is something that many adults do. But...I don’t want you to use alcohol to self-medicate. If that’s what is happening, we need to see a counselor to figure out a course of action.”

“I’m fine,” Victor insisted, but feeling Yuuri’s arms hug him, he added, “But I will get help if it persists.”

“That’s all I ask.”

* * *

  
  


Yuuri leaned against Victor as they prepared to board the plane. The alpha’s arm wrapped around him protectively. Finally, the call came to board and they moved into line. Soon they would be in Detroit and their new home.

* * *

  
  


NOTES:

[ This ](https://natashaskitchen.com/olivye-ukrainian-potato-salad/) is the Natasha’s Kitchen version of Olivier salad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are going to their new home! Thoughts?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back into Detroit...settling into their new lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all...hope you are all holding up okay with the craziness of the world and that this chapter gives you a little respite.
> 
> So this story is basically written and working through edits. My focus this month is on Sirin. I hope to get it wrapped up but that depends on the story. I certainly don't want to rush it. However, it is my daily write. For those waiting for Gravity, I haven't forgotten it. It's currently in reread and then I'm reviewing my notes. I'm hoping to make it my December focus and get that one started up again and finished. I do remember that one needed some complex research in politics and such so I'll be doing some reading in that direction. Hopefully by the New Year, I'll have new chapters of Gravity going up.
> 
> Many thanks to BluSkates for all of her loving edits to this story. She really rounds out my writing and truly understands the direction I'm going. I'm so glad to have gained her as a friend in this process.

* * *

Yuuri curled up next to Victor in the cab, the long trip on the plane wore on him and he was happy to be home, even if it was a new home. “It’s going to be weird and unfamiliar and I need to go back to class and…” Yawn. Snuggle, moving up Victor’s body. “I’m glad you’re here.” He breathed in Victor’s scent, sighing contentedly.

Victor didn’t point out that that sentence was incongruous, instead leaning in to press a kiss in Yuuri’s travel wild hair and rest his cheek against the mop. “We’ll be home soon.”

Yuuri nodded, sighing, and Victor could feel the omega’s nervous jitters. “It’s a good building.”

“So you’ve said. I believe your friend will be one floor away,” Victor suggested.

“She was dating Celestino, you know. They apparently broke up while I was gone.”

Victor already knew this, Yuuri had shared that along with information about the apartment earlier that week.

Yuuri continued his sleepy babbling, repeating things that had already been said. “I don’t think Minako approved…but I guess...” He trailed off, snuggling in, eyes closing.

“I’m sure things will work out for the best.” Sleepy Yuuri rambled about all aspects of his life and Victor listened thoughtfully, soaking these things up like a sponge.

They arrived at the apartment building and Yuuri found some hidden energy, bouncing excitedly in his seat. “Our first place together. And Phichit promised he’d bring Vicchan over. I want the whole family together.”

That sounded nice and made Victor feel all soft inside. His boyfriend was adorable at that drunk phase of sleepy, almost like being tipsy. He helped Yuuri out of the uber, tipping the driver after their bags were unloaded. “Yuuri, it’s time to go see what we’ve gotten into.”

Yuuri hummed, nodding, “Kay…” Stumbling after Victor, they walked through the front door only to be greeted by both Jules and Phichit. 

“Hey, you two,” Jules greeted. She had met Victor over a few video calls in setting up the apartment. Her warmth came through the calls and continued in person.

A sharp bark drew Yuuri’s attention and he immediately abandoned Victor and Makka for his baby. “There you are.” Scooping him into his arms, he giggled at all of the licks he received in response. “I missed you, too. I promise not to be gone so long next time.” The poodle sniffed around Yuuri, spotting the other dog, began wagging and wiggling to get down. Yuuri looped the leash onto his wrist and set him down. The poodle immediately trotted over and began sniffing around Makka who turned and sat down, tilting her head to one side as she studied the curious miniature.

“Shall we go up? I have your keys,” Jules continued. They fell into step with her while she pointed out the amenities. “The gym isn’t as nice as the one we use but when the weather is bad and you just need to get in a morning run on the treadmill, it will do. No one ever uses the clubhouse. I don’t know why they bother with them. Maybe a breakroom for the employees.” They climbed up one set of stairs then another and headed down a hallway. She then stopped in front of the door and turned, smiling as she saw Yuuri grab hold of Victor’s hand. Phichit smiled proudly behind her, cameraphone at ready.

Opening the door, Yuuri’s eyes went wide. “B-but it was unfurnished.”

“Now, don’t get mad, Yuuri,” Victor began.

Turning back, he asked, “What did you do?”

“I just asked for the standard furnishing package. We can trade things out but it’s all rental...and well…”

Yuuri went into the space and took it in. The sofa wasn’t bad, although it didn’t speak to either of their styles. Just a boxy gray number with silver lamps on either side. The end tables and coffee tables were a mix of black metal and wood that made Yuuri think of Walmart. It wasn’t expensive and it felt odd to picture Victor here. “This won’t hold up long.”

“It won’t...I didn’t want us to come home to an empty apartment. I thought...it would do until we could find what we really wanted. They pick it up when we’re done with it.”

Phichit jumped in to add, “Like the nesting service.”

Yuuri considered that before nodding. “I suppose it makes sense. I just...I didn’t expect it.”

“And you’re overtired,” his friend suggested knowing Yuuri too well.

Rubbing his hand over his hair, he nodded. Then turning wide eyes to Phichit, “My nest.”

“You told me to dismantle it but I brought it over here until you were ready for a fresh set.” 

Yuuri hugged himself. He could work with that and he really was tired. “Okay...I...I think I’m too tired to be excited.”

“It’s fine, Yuuri...do you think you could sleep here tonight?” Victor asked, an arm slipping around the omega for support.

He nodded, it was really thoughtful and his friends knew him well enough not to be upset by his reaction. “I can...I think...I need to put my nest back in order.”

“Why don’t we leave you to it,” Jules suggested. “If you get hungry, well...Peach and I went shopping on your behalf. You should be able to find something.”

Yuuri found his smile at that final thoughtful touch. “Thank you.”

“Of course...and good night.” Jules put an arm around Phichit’s shoulder as they left. “You coming over or do you want a ride back?” And then the door closed behind them taking Phichit’s reply with it.

Yuuri stood in the middle of the room, the kitchen on one side with an eat-in bar, the living room on the other side taking advantage of the windows. They were very large and open and Yuuri did like that as the sun began to set. He then felt a jacket settle on his shoulders and turned to breathe in the scent before he was wrapped up in a pair of strong arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I really do appreciate it.”

“Phichit warned me that you would react this way. It’s not permanent. We can change any and all of it. I just...I didn’t want us sleeping in sleeping bags our first night in our apartment.”

“I just...I want this to become  _ our  _ space, a place that says  _ us  _ when people see it.” 

“And it will...but I think that’s something we need to figure out over time. And we have time.”

Yuuri turned in his arms and breathed in his scent, his nose finding Victor’s neck, his hand knotting into his shirt. “Thank you. I’ll get there. I really will.”

“I know. Why don’t we get you into a shower and then figure out this nest thing.”

And with that, Yuuri stepped back. “You aren’t touching my nest until you take a shower, too.”

Chuckling, Victor easily agreed, giving Yuuri a push towards the master bedroom.

* * *

  
  


Victor came out of the shower, glad to be refreshed and in pajamas to find Yuuri sitting in the middle of the nesting materials brought over by Phichit. “Is...everything okay?”

Yuuri shrugged and then turned towards him, reaching out for the alpha. Victor came to him immediately, gathering him closer. “It...doesn’t smell like us.” In the short amount of time in St. Petersburg, Yuuri had become accustomed to their combined scent infusing in all of the surfaces. The omega had quickly become integrated into the modern space and warmed it up with his presence.

“Okay...what about something to anchor your nest? Something that always makes you feel settled.”

Yuuri thought about it then nodded, pushing up to go to his suitcase. When he returned, he held only a scarf, hugging it close to his chest. “I-I think this might have been yours.”

Victor smiled and took the deep blue cashmere scarf from his partner’s hands as Yuuri settled close to his side. “You still have it.”

“It...was all I had to cling to. My memories were being challenged and stripped away. But I had this one tangible thing. I kept it in a bag for a long time, pulling it out with my early heats or when I was upset. The scent...it’s faded. I think it’s just memory now. But...I never could really let you go. I was just convinced...I wasn’t good enough.” Those last words were a whisper, his eyes dropping to the floor but then that scarf wound around him as Victor pulled him tight into his embrace.

“Do you know how many times I thought the same...that I wasn’t good enough...that that was why your parents sent me away? This poor Russian orphan boy, what could he offer. But Yuuri...whatever I have, I offer to you.”

Yuuri looked up, his eyes large and soulful. “I wish...I want...can we do this? Is this going to work?”

Victor nodded emphatically. “We both want this. It has to work. You’re my family.” He then enfolded Yuuri in his arms, tucking him under his chin. They would have a nest soon but right now his omega needed to feel as if he belonged. “You’re mine,” he whispered, pressing a kiss into Yuuri’s hair.

Yuuri sniffed, snuggling closer, the scarf now crushed between them. “I...need to be yours. I don’t fit anywhere else.”

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Let me take care of you.”

Another sniff and then a soft, “Okay.” They sat that way for some time and then Yuuri straightened and looked around him. Burying his nose in the scent refreshed scarf, he knew where to go from here. Victor stepped back and watched as Yuuri quickly and efficiently began assembling the nest once more. This would be their nest and Yuuri wanted this, wanted Victor.

Once it was finished, the blue scarf prominently wrapped around the head of the nest, Yuuri turned and chewed his lip, holding Victor’s eyes while he waited for approval.

“You build a perfect nest for our family. May I join you?”

Yuuri nodded, “P-please.”

Victor climbed in next to Yuuri, reaching over to turn out the lamp. He caught movement in his eye and turned to see two dogs curled up sharing an oversized pillow in the corner of the room. “Good night, darlings,” he murmured before he cast the room in shadows. He then turned and made a space for Yuuri to settle into his shoulder. “Sleep tight, my Yuuri.”

“Good night, Vitya,” he returned, snuggling into Victor, breathing in his scent.

* * *

  
  


Victor slotted into Yuuri’s life so naturally that it took several days for the changes to hit the omega. He still went to class, practiced, worked as a TA on campus, taught dance classes at a studio near the rink. He would grab lunch with Phichit and/or Jules. Dinner, he reserved for Victor. They would catch up on their day at that point. Some evenings, Yuuri had to study but Victor loved to read, stretching out on the sofa that Yuuri finally decided he liked now that it had pillows and throws that made him more comfortable in the space, a book or iPad in hand. Yuuri would sit on a pile of pillows on the floor in front of the coffee table, a faux furry rug stretching across the floor beneath the table and towards the two chairs they added. He picked them out because they were the kind you could curl up in like a mini-nest. Yuuri’s books would sometimes spread across the coffee table, competing for space with the laptop and his mug of tea or water bottle.

He also found he didn’t really mind the dining room table or the stools next to the bar. The table was a darker wood grain than he would have chosen but in the space, it actually fit, providing contrast against the bamboo flooring and cabinets. The barstools were also of the darker wood, rectangular and rustic in appearance. He realized his frustration was not that the objects were in his home but in that he wanted to make a home for Victor. He was starting to realize it wasn’t these things that made the space a home but the warmth and laughter, the added touches that showed their personalities and culture as they started filling the shelves.

They were making a home together. Bits and pieces of them filling the space and claiming it as their own. However, in the bedroom, something didn’t feel right. Victor suggested it simply didn’t smell like them yet and Yuuri didn’t discount that. But he tossed and turned in the bed, not feeling fully comfortable and relaxed even after the nest was built.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri felt an impatience thrumming under his skin and he couldn’t place it. Maybe it was his heat coming up but maybe it wasn’t. He couldn’t say for sure. He made his doctor’s appointment. He and Victor were becoming more and more affectionate and it was harder and harder to pull away. He wanted to know that his birth control was good.

As he sat on the exam table, he listened to the standard questions. Most answers were the same but then she asked, “Do you have plans to share your heat with another?”

He paused, his cheeks darkening, nodding before he had time to think too hard on that. She hummed as she looked at him before asking, “Are you already in relations with your partner?”

“Are we...having sex?”

She confirmed with a nod.

“Ummm...no...not yet. But maybe soon.”

She made note of that on her computer before continuing, “You are already on birth control keeping your heat cycles consistent. Are there any changes you want to make?”

“I-I don’t want to get pregnant. I’ve got too much I want to do before I have any kids.”

“Do you have any reason to think your current birth control won’t be enough?”

He shrugged. “It’s just that...we’re highly compatible. What if it’s not enough?”

“Highly compatible...what do you mean?” she inquired.

“Well...you see, we actually...we, ummm...we were cocooned together when we presented.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I’m sorry, did you say cocooned? Like...an arranged marriage?”

He shrugged. “Not exactly. It was...accidental. We, ummm, we presented at the same time and he was trying to get me to a safe place. It was in public. And so we found the medic’s room. Only they weren’t there and it was happening so fast. So he just…wrapped me up in his arms. I stayed there until my presentation completed.”

She nodded, her eyes wide as she considered the ramifications. “You nested in his scent. You’ve never mentioned this before.”

“Well, my family always denied it happened and then...we met again. In March. And now we live together.”

“The bond maintained itself without continuing scenting?”

“Is that...necessary?”

“Well, the bond you are describing is basically a scent bond. It’s a primal bond that we often use when working with adoptive parents but it can also be a mating bond. With...highly compatible partners.” She stopped, looked at her tablet. “But typically there is ongoing scenting.”

“I...I had this scarf for a long time. I mean, I still have it, but the scent faded.”

She hummed. “Was he wearing this scarf while you were bonding?”

Yuuri nodded, “I kind of held onto it between us.”

“It’s possible…” Then she paused, nodding. “Of course it’s possible. We’re here now.”

“So...the highly compatible partner thing and...not getting pregnant?”

She nodded, reaching for her cabinet. “I’m going to up your dosage but your heat may shift slightly. We can use sliders if we need to get you lined back up. But you’ll likely shift anyway to line up with that of your partner’s rut.” She paused, turning back to ask, “It  _ is  _ an alpha we’re talking about?”

“Yes, Victor.”

“Okay, you might feel a little nauseous with the change in hormone level,” she stated as she prepared his arm for the shot. “I also recommend a condom for a backup over the next month.” She then pricked his arm and he could feel the shot spreading slowly into his arm. He’d be sore for the next few days. “Of course, it never hurts to double up.” She then added a bandaid to cover the puncture, nodding with satisfaction.

“Thank you. It will still be at least a month until my heat?”

“As I said, you both should be lining up with one another. As long as his rut typically lies outside that timeline, you should be fine.”

Yuuri left the office feeling a little more together. Still, he needed something to make him feel more comfortable with his heat. He...hated his bed.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri and Victor walked down the street headed to meet their friends for an evening out when the showroom caught the omega’s eyes causing him to pause. Victor had taken two more steps before realizing Yuuri wasn’t with him, turning to see the omega’s eyes on the bed on display. Coming up behind Yuuri, he murmured, “We should go inside.”

“I-it’s so much,” Yuuri protested, although his eyes definitely said want. It was round, the wood carved around an upholstered base, the fabric holding a velvet sheen in stormy blue gray, a canopy that would invite ornaments and matching in the velvet fabric.

“You deserve a nest that makes you comfortable,” Victor reminded him. “If this is what you want, we’ll make it happen.”

They went inside and Yuuri was drawn to it, his fingers exploring the structure. It was sturdy, the pretty fabric of good quality, the mattress holding a wrapped coil covered by memory foam. Yuuri knew he could build a good nest in this bed. He turned large brown eyes to Victor and found that the alpha was already talking to the sales associate.

Stepping forward, Victor asked, “What do you think?”

“It’s perfect,” Yuuri responded.

“Good. It will be delivered tomorrow. I’ll move the other to the second bedroom.”

Yuuri was pleased, his expression lighting up as he reached for Victor. “Thank you so much! You spoil me.”

“You, love, are hard to spoil...but I’m glad you are letting me do this.”

As they joined Jules, Ketty, Ashley, and Phichit for dinner, Yuuri gushed over the new bed, showing them pictures. Ketty, the only other alpha in the group, nodded to Victor in approval. 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri bounced up and down in excitement as the bed was put into place. They had moved the other bed out of their room earlier that day, Yuuri not hesitating to tear their nest apart. “Maybe we should look at more...permanent nesting materials,” Victor suggested as they bagged up the old.

“But...what if my anxiety seeps into it?”

“There are services that can clean it just as there are services that can switch it out. I think you will be happier if you have something more...suited to you. Something a little softer, in muted tones, something you can build on.”

It sounded lovely once Victor said the words. Yuuri worried but then again, he hadn’t been sleeping well in the current situation. So before the bed was set to arrive, they went to a store and Yuuri picked out his own nesting kits, hands slipping in to feel the high-end cotton. Meeting Victor’s eyes, he knew the alpha was content with this purchase.

Once the bed arrived and was put in place, Victor was shewed out. He wanted to build this nest for them. Prominently, the blue scarf was woven into the structure of the nest. It was the thread that held them together when they couldn’t be together physically. He needed that piece and knew even when it became rags, he’d stitch it back together and weave it into their nest. He then dumped out the base pieces. He chose white because he liked the clean feeling of it and created the layers he needed, sheets and more pads, until it was properly built up. Then he began on the walls. Long pillows wrapped in multiple cases, even longer strips of cloth in the muted tones Yuuri loved. When he leaned back, he smiled, loving the way the colors blended in one another. It felt cozy. It felt safe.

He knew he would add more ornaments to this nest, the entire room, really, but this was the first piece of the puzzle he needed to make this his home. Climbing out of the bed, he padded his bare feet into the living room and then found Victor in the kitchen attempting to cook dinner. Raising an eyebrow, he came up behind him, slipping his arms around his waist.

“Thank you.”

Victor’s hand slid over his and gave them a squeeze. “You’re welcome. I think I need your help with this.” And together, they made dinner, Yuuri guiding him but Victor doing the work. He loved how the alpha wanted to make this a home as much as he did. Perhaps this would work after all.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri led Victor into their room, bouncing on his toes in excitement. “I want you to see our room.”

Victor took in the nest and then looked around at how Yuuri had already made other changes to the space. The softness continued throughout the room, the subdued lighting, a lamp with a scarf over it to soften the glow. A black box sitting in the middle of the dresser. “Is this…” He stopped, not knowing how Yuuri would react to his part in the  _ box _ .

“It’s the box I received before my first heat,” Yuuri explained. “It’s...got my toy collection in it.”

Yuuri shifted back and forth, his cheeks pink with embarrassment. Victor found him adorable and he also realized he wanted no lies, half-truths or otherwise, between them. “I know about the box.”

“Y-you do?” Those brown eyes widened in surprise.

Victor nodded. “I...tried to talk Minako into letting me buy the box. I received a lecture on boundaries and appropriateness of gifts.”

A laugh bubbled out of Yuuri before he could tamp it down.  _ I would have liked to hear that lecture.  _ “Oh...I suppose it was good she drew the line somewhere,” Yuuri stated, chewing his lower lip in consideration.

“It was...you see, I was desperate to be close to you and I didn’t think about how inappropriate those actions were before then. It made me really consider where I was at. I didn’t...like where I was at. I had already crossed lines I didn’t feel comfortable with. I...let people…” He faded out, not sure if this was the time to talk about this. He knew Yuuri knew. But he also knew Yuuri didn’t know...everything.

Deep brown eyes studied him, Yuuri moving towards him, his hands sliding down his arms, holding his elbows. Resting their foreheads together, he said softly, “They hurt you.”

“They made assumptions and my boundaries weren’t always respected. They...treated me like I was something I wasn’t. I’m...not an omega. But...I have a submissive nature.”

Yuuri considered those words, trying not to let them hurt. “I’m omega...but I’m not submissive.”

“It’s a stereotype. Yuuri...I’m scared. I’m worried that I’m...not alpha enough for you.”

The omega huffed at those words. “I want you to be you. Whatever being you means.” Sliding his hands up Victor’s arms, he slid one around Victor’s neck, the other cupping his cheek. “I’m omega and I have a dominant personality. I’m demanding and I know what I want even with my anxiety. If you’ll take me as I am, then I’ll do the same.”

“I want you,” Victor murmured.

Yuuri smiled, his expression softening, “And I want you.” He then backed up, his hands sliding down to Victor’s. “Now, tell me what you think about this nest I created for us.”

Victor smiled at those words. “For us…” Turning toward the bed, he nodded at the beautiful woven colors. “It looks like us.”

Yuuri snorted. “Phichit calls me extra.”

“You  _ are  _ extra,” Victor agreed, wrapping his arms around Yuuri. “And so am I. We are quite a pair.”

“Yes, we are,” Yuuri agreed. “Let’s see how this nest sleeps.” Yuuri crawled into the bed, Victor after him. Soon he was relaxed into the alpha’s arms, a comforter drawn over the top of them. It didn’t smell like them quite yet but it already felt like them and Yuuri could feel himself settle. This was home.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this story only has 15 chapters (16, if Blu splits the last one). So that should give you a timeline indication. It was always intended as a short story. I've been working on shorter fics to get the hang of them. Not that I don't have more epic things planned. At least two. Which is why I'm trying to get these stories wrapped up. I've got more stories to tell! 
> 
> So take care of yourselves, and in the words of Matthew Mercer, "Don't forget to love each other." And let me hear your words. :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intimacy grows fast between these boys.
> 
> Note: This chapter is NSFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday!
> 
> Here is a little intimate chapter to cheer you into the weekend. Thank you, BluSkates, for your lovely edits!

* * *

* * *

Yuuri stretched and yawned, feeling rested and happy, the body behind him holding him close, still asleep, mostly. He arched into Victor and heard an involuntary moan, feeling Victor’s interest press into his backside. Suddenly confident and a little more than curious, Yuuri wiggled against that hardness, feeling Victor’s arms tighten around him, answering with a grind up into the valley of his cheeks.  _ Oh, that...feels good. _ He blinked at his response, scenting the arousal in the air, and it wasn’t all Victor’s.  _ Oh _ .

He had worn a pair of cheekers to bed, the cut flattering on him, along with a long sleeved, oversized t-shirt that was now riding up his tummy. Victor’s fingers were playing with the hem of that shirt and the soft definition on Yuuri’s belly, a finger circling the indent of his belly button. Victor paused as if he just realized something.

“You have a belly button piercing.”

Yuuri giggled, “Yes. Don’t tell my mom.” Then they both fell quiet. Talking about Yuuri’s parents had become taboo, Victor pushing for them to reconcile and Yuuri insisting that he wasn’t ready. “I guess...that’s not important right now.”

Victor nodded, not pushing. He kissed Yuuri’s shoulder before easing away to the omega’s disappointment. “We should probably get up.”

Yuuri frowned, reaching for him. “Don’t go...please…”

Something in Yuuri’s tone caused Victor to pause. He settled back in behind the omega. “What is it, darling?”

“I just...I…” He leaned his head back, pressing into Victor’s shoulder, huffing in embarrassment but knowing he needed to get past this. “Will you...touch me?”

He felt the gasp against his skin. “Touch you...how?”

Yuuri reached down to take the hand now settled back on his stomach and guided it downward. “Touch. Me.”

  
Victor’s breath caught even as his hand moulded over the contours of Yuuri’s length through the cheeky boxers. Swallowing, he began to tease the length, feeling Yuuri press back into him. “Can I…” He paused. He didn’t want to push but he wanted Yuuri so much, could feel Yuuri’s slick seeping through his underwear.

“What do you want?” Yuuri asked, tilting his head back and snatching a kiss before Victor could answer.

“I want...it’s just that you wear those thigh high leg warmers and it makes me want to...can I...I want to fuck your thighs.”

Yuuri blinked, “Oh,” he hadn’t expected that.

“You...don’t have to. Especially if it makes you feel uncomf…” Fingers went up to stop his words mid-sentence.

“I just didn’t expect...that. Of course. Do we need...lube?”

Victor blinked at the casual use of the word  _ lube  _ but shook his head. “I think, if you are okay with it, your slick will do fine.”

Yuuri nodded, his hands going to his waistband, pushing down his boxers and feeling Victor shuffling behind him. He gasped at the feeling of Victor’s length slotting around the curve of his ass, a hand not his own gathering slick. Then Victor began pressing into that tight space between his thighs. The slick covered hand now reached for Yuuri’s length once more, no fabric between them now.  _ We’re really doing this.  _ Yuuri’s eyes were wide as he felt Victor’s hand wrapping around him, and then closed as he felt the friction of Victor’s touch.

It was awkward at first, Yuuri’s hand joining Victor’s as they found their timing. Soft moans found their way to their lips. Impatient Yuuri leaned back to find Victor’s lips. He felt wanton and filthy in a good way. No one ever made him want to do this. No one ever pulled such desire from Yuuri. He groaned into the kiss as he drew close. And then he felt Victor push tight against his ass, his body tensing, as he felt the warm spend on his thighs, and  _ oh, that’s hot. _ Yuuri felt himself tumble over, releasing over his belly.

Yuuri laid there, resting his back against Victor, enjoying the loving kisses Victor showered over his shoulders. It was more than he was expecting and made him realize, he wanted even more. Rolling onto his back, he knew he was a sticky mess but he wanted Victor’s love and affection, turning into his embrace. Victor kissed him deeply, recognizing that Yuuri just shared a part of himself with him that he hadn’t shared with anyone else. Yuuri knew he didn’t want anyone else to have this part of Victor, this vulnerable needy part of him. This was his to protect. His hand slid through his seed, and over Victor’s scent gland. Victor groaned into the claim. Capturing Yuuri’s lips once more.

Victor moved down his body with kisses, and Yuuri didn’t know where it would lead. He didn’t care at this point although something in him told him he should. He felt Victor’s tongue lapping at his skin.  _ Oh, he’s...oh…  _ Victor cleaned his belly off and moved further down, and Yuuri’s legs parted for him with ease, curious as to where Victor was going with this. They should be talking. Yuuri knew this. But on an instinctive level, he needed it to be this way. Reckless. Abandoned to one another. He felt Victor’s answering motion, as he spread his seed over the gland in his upper thigh, and Yuuri’s eyes closed at the warmth spreading through him, understanding now how that claim affected Victor on a chemical level. Victor continued to clean him up before climbing back up his body to take Yuuri’s lips once more. He could taste them on Victor’s lips and he never knew he wanted that but he knew now.

As they parted, Yuuri held onto Victor’s eyes fiercely, “God, I want you.”

Victor smiled, kissing his nose, forehead, then chin. “How much?”

“All of you, I want you to fuck me.”

Victor groaned at that response. And Yuuri could see him considering right at that moment, could see the desire in Victor’s eyes. “I need...I need to stop at the pharmacy first. I know anything I have on hand is long past expired.”

Yuuri blinked.  _ Oh...oh...that was that thing in the back of my head I was trying to remember.  _ Yuuri nodded, he agreed. “I’m glad you’re keeping your head together.”

“I will always put your needs before my own,” he promised. “You told me you don’t want to risk pregnancy and what your doctor suggested. It’s less than a month, we’ll double up.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

  
  


Victor followed Yuuri into the shower and he loved how those hands moved over him, soaping him up and taking care of him. He loved equally doing the same for Victor, running his hands through the alpha’s shampooed hair. He groaned as he felt Victor’s kisses on his skin now rinsed of suds. His eyes widened as Victor sank to his knees and took him into his mouth.  _ God, this man is going to be the death of me. _

Victor stood up kissing him, once more tasting of Yuuri, causing the omega to hum. Victor turned to the wall, bracing himself as he took himself in hand only to feel Yuuri’s hand curl around him. Soon his own release was washing down the drain and the water was turning cold.

They dried one another off, stealing kisses, Yuuri letting Victor dress him. They were facing one another as they brushed their teeth, Yuuri sitting on the counter, his legs swinging back and forth. They finally slipped into a casual intimacy that would allow them to face the day. They had a busy day ahead and Yuuri knew the schedule as well as Victor.

Breakfast had to be quick, too much time lingering in one another’s embrace catching up to them. Then there were quick kisses and Yuuri was headed off to class, Victor to the rink for early ice.

  
  


Yuuri sat at lunch with Phichit and Jules. Both could tell something was different about their friend, the way he kept shifting. Then it clicked with Phichit, “Oh my god, you two finally fucked!”

Yuuri’s eyes widened, his cheeks crimsoning in response. “N-not exactly,” he protested, looking around to see if anyone was listening. He spotted a few smirks and felt the heat growing.  _ God it’s hot in here _ .

“What do you mean...not exactly?” Jules asked knowingly.

“We just...it was just handjobs and blowjobs,” he hissed, ducking his head.

Jules was never one to let something go, leaning in to suggest, “But you want something more.”

He wasn’t sure he liked that knowing smirk on her face. “Maybe...tonight?” he squeaked.

“Look at our Yuuri finally losing his V-card!” Phichit cheered.

“God, you’re loud,” Yuuri stated, now beyond embarrassed as he ducked down and covered his face. He peeked out to see the smug expression on his best friend’s face. 

The youngest omega shrugged. “You’ve always known I’m  _ that  _ friend.”

“I know...but stop!”

Phichit chuckled but laid off at that point. He knew from experience one could push Yuuri too far.

Jules, however, very practically asked, “Do you have what you need?”

Yuuri shrugged hating that he was having this conversation but glad he had friends enough to ask. “Victor’s getting it today.”

“You should stop at the free-clinic after lunch to pick up some yourself,” she determined.

“Juuuules,” he whined.

Phichit nodded, patting Yuuri’s shoulder, “I agree...you can’t always count on the alpha to take care of things.”

“But...it’s just backup.”

“I know it’s a secondary precaution against pregnancy, but it’s the only protection against anything he brings into the relationship,” Jules pointed out. “You never know if the other person has social diseases.”

“God, have you been talking to Mari?”

“If you’re big sister isn’t here, then I’m happy to fill her shoes temporarily,” she stated. Yuuri at that moment regretted that he ever introduced the two of them. “And speaking of, have you...have you contacted her?”

“Oh, can we go back to the embarrassing sex talk please?” Yuuri whined but saw that even Phichit had turned serious. Defeated, Yuuri shrugged, this conversation going somewhere he didn’t want to deal with real quick. “I will.”

Jules heard the lie in his voice, “She’s worried. She texted me to see if you were okay. I told her that you were but that you were upset.”

Yuuri felt bad. It wasn’t Jules’ job to play mediator for his family. Nor was it Mari’s fault for the rift, something Victor reminded him about regularly. He could feel a part of himself giving way. “I’ll call. I promise.” 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri unlocked the door to their apartment, the lingering after-sex scent hitting him like it had been closed up in a jar causing him to take a deep intake of breath. He closed his eyes and focused on their mingling scents. It was better than any heat he had, and they hadn’t even really done anything.  _ Yet. _

Opening his eyes, he spied the pharmacy bag waiting on the counter. Victor was out, would be out until after seven. Coach was recording the program Victor was developing for Yakov to tear apart. Yakov would look it over first thing in the morning when he arrived at his office.

Yuuri closed the door, seeing the dogs curled up together. Victor must have walked them before heading back out to the rink. They seemed content to sleep. He approached the counter, laying his keys down while he eyed the paper bag. It was white. Innocuous if you knew nothing about the contents. Yuuri huffed out a breath.  _ He’s already touched me, seen what a mess I am. Why am I like this? _

Choosing to ignore the bag, he moved into the kitchen and took out his skillet to prepare the chicken for the  [ salad ](https://www.jessicagavin.com/chicken-salad-ginger-sesame-dressing/) they would eat that night. Seasoning the chicken, he put it on to cook, sauteing it to hold the flavors. He then prepared the other ingredients of the salad, arranging them into the bowl so they would form a spiral of color. He followed using the blender to prepare the dressing. He was pouring it over the chicken when Victor walked through the door.

The alpha breathed in as he entered the space, the warmth of the meal mixed with their own scents causing him to settle, the tension relaxing off of his shoulders. He only spared a small glance towards the bag that remained untouched before focusing on his omega. “That smells amazing. What have you made for us?”

“Just a small salad. I’m picking up a few pounds so I knew I needed to watch my carbs.”

Victor understood. Yuuri’s weight tended to fluctuate up as they drew closer to his heat. He’d seen it in the pictures. The natural instinct was to gain before heat to prepare for time spent otherwise. Humming as he wrapped his arms around Yuuri from behind, he murmured in his ear, “You’re beautiful with or without those few extra pounds.”

Yuuri relaxed into him, closing his eyes as he considered his gains and losses over the years, evidenced by the stretchmarks on his body. “I’m the current world champion; I don’t want to lose my edge.”

“You’ve tasted gold, I understand. It was the best competition of my life.”

Yuuri smiled, turning to capture his lips in a kiss. “Thank you,” he murmured, his hand still cupping Victor’s cheek. “Mine, too.”

Yuuri picked up the bowl holding their meal and they moved to the table, sitting close and not bothering with individual dishes, they used their chopsticks and picked through the salad, building their bites from the variety before them. The icey goblets of water with lemon and basil refreshed their pallets as they continued to enjoy the food, sometimes feeding the other. It was intimate and they both loved it.

After, Victor offered to clean up and Yuuri slipped away to shower. He wanted to be clean...for later. Entering into the bedroom, he paused to look at the black box sitting on the dresser. Yuuri had tried to stash it under the bed but Victor wanted it proudly on display. Tipping up the lid, he reached in to grab his favorite plug. He wanted Victor to know he was ready even if he was nervous.

In the shower, he took his time, the soap gliding over his body, complementing his scent. Reaching for a small bottle of lube he began working himself open. He knew how much prepwork he needed for the purple plug. Smiling to himself, he felt the plug settle into place. The perfect color. Victor loved pinks and purples. Their room was becoming a combination of those pinks and purples along with Yuuri’s favorite blues.

He reached for the loose a-line tank that fell down past his hips and swung out with a handkerchief hemline. He sometimes wore it for dance, or stretching in the living room. But Victor loved the way it looked on him, the smokey blue-gray against his skin. He reached for the oatmeal colored over-the-knee socks to follow up, small stitches of blue and red showing up in its heathered pattern. He knew Victor loved this look on him and he wanted to look beautiful for his alpha. He followed up with black lycra and lace panties in the boycut he preferred. They were made for male omegas and contained him well enough while showing off his assets.

Satisfied with his appearance, he moved to their bedroom, fingers finding the warm walnut that made up the chest of drawers. Yuuri loved to show his appreciation through touch and he loved the way this room suited them. Yuuri’s hand slid over the edge of the bed framing up his nest. It was an extravagance, one Victor eagerly encouraged. The beds were switched out within a day’s time and Yuuri took his time and built a fresh nest, winding together the fabric and cushions that would one day become the nest of their family. He couldn’t believe Victor had talked him into a more permanent nesting solution. He’d always used a service, worried that he wouldn’t be able to get the worry and stress scents out if they settled too long. His Victor told him that he loved all parts of Yuuri, even the anxious parts.

Reaching up, he straightened the crystal beads he had strung across the front of the canopy, the old chandelier pieces dropping down at intervals to catch the setting sun and cast rainbows across the surface. The walls were a combination of blues, pinks, and purples, but the bed was layers of white in the softest cottons. It was the best nest he had ever made and Yuuri was proud of it.

Crawling across the bed, he turned, settling against the upholstered back of the nest waiting for Victor to join him. He heard when the alpha entered the bathroom from the outer entrance and could hear the shower come on, the warm hum of his mate’s voice. Yuuri closed his eyes and remembered the program that particular song came from. He knew music soothed Victor, like ice, like touch. Victor needed touch, craved touch, and only recently was able to indulge in it.  _ I want to take care of you...to remove the pain from my absence. _

Victor came out of the bathroom, shirtless, his pajama pants riding low on his hips revealing the black Calvin Klein elastic  [ waistband ](https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-ultra-soft-modal-trunks?ID=3260383&CategoryID=1006225) . Yuuri loved that brand as well, the fit and the softness suiting his omega. Of course, the pajamas were Ralph Lauren, the pair he wore in an ad the previous season, and Yuuri couldn’t help but tease him. “You’re mixing brands.”

Victor’s eyes crinkled. “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.” His hands were behind his back and Yuuri could smell the hint of nervousness in his scent. “Can I...may I enter your nest?”

“ _ Our _ nest,” Yuuri corrected. “And you never have to ask.”

Victor nodded, his nerves showing up as he strode across the room and climbed into the soft fabric. “I just… tonight is different. I want...I need you to know that I put you first.”

Yuuri put two fingers over his lips. “I know.”

He nodded once more, taking a shaky breath turning to settle in next to Yuuri, head on his shoulder, then awkwardly didn’t know where to put the bag. Yuuri took it from his hand, removed the box from within, pulled out what they needed and stashed the rest under a pillow. “We may need more later,” he teased, a wink belying his own nerves.

Victor swallowed, agreeing, his hands trembling as they moved up and down Yuuri’s back. “I-I’m a mess,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to do this.”

Yuuri smiled, his hand sliding up Victor’s neck and face, cupping his cheek. “I don’t either but I know I want this. I-I’m nervous. I don’t want to mess up.”

“Y-you can’t. Even if you change your mind and decide you aren’t ready, you can’t. Because...because I’ve always wanted you. But I want you to want me more.”

“I want you,” Yuuri whispered, lowering his lips to Victor. He felt Victor’s arms tighten around him. As they parted, he murmured, “What is it...how do you need me to love you?”

Victor’s eyes widened. “I should...I’m supposed to take care of you.”

Yuuri shook his head, his hands smoothing Victor’s hair. “No, we take care of each other, we meet each other where we need. And...as angry as I am for what my mother did to me, I’m more upset about how you were hurt in all of this, how you didn’t get the love you needed. How...can I love you?”

Victor’s breath hitched and suddenly he was overwhelmed with emotion, a hand reaching up to thumb away tears that jumped to the surface unbidden. He’d buried tears for so long and Yuuri could unstopper them with just a phrase. “I, uh...I, uh, I like to...let go, to be...taken care of. You do that so well in so many aspects. It’s just...I...ummm…”

“You want me to take the lead,” Yuuri surmised, understanding what Victor was saying.

The alpha nodded. “But I shouldn’t...you...you…”

Once more, Yuuri put his fingers over Victor’s lips to hush his protests. “I come from a long line of dominant omegas. My mother, sister, Minako, and Yuuko have all influenced me. I  _ can  _ take the lead if that’s what you need, Vitya.”

Victor sniffed, unsure of himself. “But...is this okay? I’m supposed to be the alpha.”

“We make the rules in here.” Yuuri hugged him closer, pressing a kiss into his hair before whispering, “You are an alpha. And that doesn’t have to mean you’re in charge all of the time. If you need to let go, then let go...let  _ me  _ take care of  _ you _ .” Somehow, taking the focus off of himself, Yuuri felt his own nerves dissipate. He only wanted to ensure Victor was safe and in a good place.

He watched as Victor nodded, relaxing into his arms. “I’m yours,” he submitted, blue eyes looking up to him with total trust.

Yuuri felt the power vibrate through him at that much faith. He shifted them in the bed, Victor rolling fully onto his back, Yuuri’s leg stretching over him as he moved to straddle the alpha beneath him. He felt Victor’s hands run up that leg with a soft groan.

Sitting in Victor’s lap, feeling Victor’s hands on his hips, Yuuri felt both powerful and beautiful. His tank puddled around his thighs and Yuuri could feel the squeeze of the hands that slipped beneath him, fingers sliding around to massage into his ass, tracing the lace framing his cheeks. Reaching down, he pulled the shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor beyond the nest. Victor’s eyelids lowered, desire flashing in them on the display.

“Beautiful,” he praised, fingers working up Yuuri’s side even as the omega ground his ass into him. “I’m feeling overdressed.”

Yuuri smirked, scooting down Victor’s legs, hands finding the waistband. “Let me take care of that for you.” He slipped his fingers along the elastic giving Victor time to protest as he held the alpha’s eyes, before he began easing the fabric down, underwear and pajamas together. Dropping them over the edge, Yuuri started climbing back up his body, fingers tracing up his thighs.

“Can we take these off as well?” Victor asked, his fingers sliding along the elastic of the panty legs.

“Mmmm...allow me,” Yuuri offered, turning to lower those underpants and show off his ass as well as the plug within.

Victor’s fingers stroked over the plug getting a hum of pleasure from Yuuri. “You’re full of surprises.”

“I know how you love them,” Yuuri returned over his shoulder, grinding against the hands now spreading and exploring Yuuri’s cheeks.

“Is this from the box or something new?”

Yuuri laughed softly, “It was in the box but something I added later. Because I knew you loved the color purple.” He blushed with the admission but didn’t run from it. Victor made him feel bold, especially caught under his gaze.

“I do,” he agreed softly. “You didn’t...even when you didn’t know about us, you wanted me.” It was as if at that moment he just now realized that he’d been wanted all along.

Yuuri turned, moving further into Victor’s embrace, feeling that finger slide over the end of that plug, holding Victor’s eyes fiercely answering, “I’ve  _ always only  _ wanted you.”

Victor sniffed, and he offered a watery smile. “God, I’m such a mess tonight.”

“It’s okay. I’m a mess most of the time,” Yuuri answered, thumbing away the tears that were slipping out of the creases of his eyes.

Victor hugged him closer, and their lips found one another, slipping into each other as they opened up further. Victor’s hands were now squeezing the globes of Yuuri’s ass while Yuuri held onto his shoulder, his lips moving down along Victor’s chin, legs once more moving to either side of the alpha. A shuddering moan slipped out of his lips as their lengths caught alongside one another, the friction sending a shiver up Yuuri’s back. 

He felt Victor’s fingers back at the plug. “Can I take this out?” he asked, and Yuuri lifted his head enough to nod before returning to nibbling along Victor’s collarbone. As he felt the plug slide out of him, his own slick ran down his leg and dripped, pooling on the body beneath him. Yuuri reached down, sliding his hand through it and wrapping around Victor’s length who shuddered at the touch. Yuuri may not have much experience, but he knew what he liked and his instinct drove him otherwise. So far they hadn’t steered him wrong.

Victor’s fingers were playing with his entrance, barely slipping inside, circling the rim and slipping out. Yuuri frowned in frustration pushing back into that hand, needing more. He heard the chuckle beneath him and was glad they had moved from the heavy to the playful side. He wanted Victor to be happy, more than anything, he wanted that happiness. However, that was forgotten as those long fingers found their way inside, Victor’s other hand squeezing Yuuri’s cheek. It was nothing for three to make their way in, the plug and prepwork ahead of time having done their job. But the fourth made Yuuri groan, enjoying the extra stretch. Reaching over, he grabbed the condom and began ripping it open.

“My Yuuri, so impatient.”

Yuuri huffed in response. He always had been impatient. Impatient as he climbed the ranks in figure skating. Impatient as he reached for Victor. And now what he wanted was within his reach, he wasn’t about to delay. As Victor’s fingers pulled out of him, he scooted back, wrinkling his brow as he pinched the tip before rolling it onto Victor’s length. He glanced up to catch a raised eyebrow before saying, “Sex-ed class...bananas. And then Phichit and I practiced on dildos with flavored condoms.”

Victor smirked at that. “And how did they taste?”

Yuuri’s cheeks darkened to a lovely shade of crimson. “I guess...I’ll get some for you to try.”

It was Victor’s turn to blush but he wanted to just the same. “Definitely,” he breathed, the idea of Yuuri on his tongue once more something he wanted to explore.

The omega shifted over him, and Victor reached down to help line up with Yuuri’s entrance. Yuuri began breathing through the feeling of Victor’s girth pressing against his rim. Victor’s free hand rested on Yuuri’s hip grounding him as he held the omega’s eyes. “Take your time,” he breathed, and Yuuri nodded in agreement, slowly sinking down and then groaning as the head slipped inside.

Yuuri took several quick breaths, blowing them out through his lips before easing further down. He moaned as he felt his walls stretch like no toy had ever done for him. He hummed at the warmth inside of him, so much better than silicon covered vibrators and dildos. He groaned at the fullness inside of him, knowing no one else would ever be able to fill this void within him. He was made for this man, and as he searched out those eyes, he could see the adoration looking up at him. They were made for each other. The words came out in a whisper full of wonder, unbidden, “I love you.”

Victor sniffed, swallowing, nodding in response. “I know...I...I feel it. It’s overwhelming. I can’t imagine how it will be when we bond.”

Yuuri hummed at that. “ _ When _ we bond.”

“I...I hope…”

Fingers cut off his words before he backtracked and took them back. “ _ When _ we bond,” Yuuri repeated, holding his eyes, his own burning with determination. “I want that...I want that so much.”

Victor flushed in happiness, pulling Yuuri down into a kiss. Yuuri moaned at the feel of that length pulling out of him in the movement but god, he felt the demand in that kiss and loved it.  _ Take, Vitya, take what you need from me.  _ Yuuri responded with equal desperation as if he couldn’t get enough of him, dying of thirst and needing him so much, feeling arms so tight around him and then feeling Victor shifting and coming over the top of Yuuri. Looking up, breathless, Yuuri blinked, feeling flushed and breathless. “Make me yours.”

Victor’s eyes widened. “Yuuuriiii,” he murmured, long and drawn out.

“Now...no more doubts. I’m yours.”

Victor’s breath caught and he nodded. “And I’m yours.” He leaned in and nuzzled Yuuri’s scent gland, his tongue licking over the surface before he started a gentle sucking motion. Yuuri responded in kind, teeth nipping at Victor’s, incisors pressing into the skin. A soft growl began building at the back of his throat and he felt Yuuri’s answering chur. They were rocking into one another, their climax building but sitting low in their bellies. Yuuri broke free taking a breath before sucking the gland once more, his teeth slowly sinking into Victor’s flesh. He could feel Victor responding similarly and it was almost intoxicating the way they needed each other. It would be visible for both of them. Yuuri was tired of secrets and lies, however, and wanted his love to be in the open, undeniable. No one would be able to lie this story away. It was his and Victor’s. Then with a sharp tightening of their body, they released the bonding chemical into the other’s body.

Everything stopped and yet was so much, the sense of the other even more so than before. Yuuri could feel Victor’s love for him, his confidence in their bond, their relationship. Victor could feel Yuuri’s answer, his need and desire for him, his relaxing into the relationship. Every raw nerve in their bodies seemed to reach out for the other, finding solace in the other’s presence. They belonged.

Victor reached between them, stroking Yuuri’s length. Yuuri shifted, pressing his forehead to Victor’s, wrapping his leg around him as he flipped them once more. Victor gasped watching Yuuri take what he wanted from him, feeling Yuuri give what Victor needed as he rode the alpha hard. Everything was so much more, the echoing along the bond, the scent of the other filling the room. Yuuri’s gaze pinned Victor more than his hands on his shoulders. Victor felt Yuuri’s possession, his claim, and he gave himself over willingly. He never belonged to anyone else. He never would.

They knew when the other was building up, could feel the tightening coil rising up in the other matched by their own. Yuuri’s breathing quickened and Victor’s answered, his grounding hand sliding up Yuuri’s side. They held each other’s gaze through their release, and even as their breath settled. Then Yuuri only knew one answer, a kiss, demanding and claiming, breaking to the word, “mine”, sliding from Yuuri’s breath.

“Always yours,” Victor answered, his hand stroking up and down Yuuri’s back.

Yuuri pressed kisses onto Victor’s cheeks nose and then forehead, resting his cheek against that last kiss. “And I’m yours.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


NOTE: I was torn about what my boys would eat.  [ This ](https://thebetteredblondie.com/chicken-cabbage-slaw-with-asian-vinaigrette/) was the other option I was considering. I went with the former because I have a real apple craving of late. 

Yuuri will reach out to Mari next chapter. No, the call wasn’t forgotten. Yuuri’s just been...busy.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what thoughts are buzzing around in your heads? I know some are wondering why Victor is pushing a reconciliation. Because he lost his parents and he doesn't want to come between Yuuri and his. It's as simple as that. He feels a bit guilty but then again, he wants to take care of his Yuuri.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We plan, the Universe laughs...or, Yuuri thinks he has plenty of time before his heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello...I'm on break and working to finish Sirin before heading off to visit my mom for a holiday. We'll see how it goes. I've got like ten chapters to write and plan to leave on Wednesday. So go big or go home, right? (I am going home...so there is that.) 
> 
> A big thanks to BluSkates for her edits. 
> 
> Also, there is some NSFW scenes in this one.

* * *

Yuuri stared at his phone, he knew he needed to make the call. He also knew Victor was by his side, his comforting hand resting on Yuuri’s hip even as Yuuri rested back against his chest. Music played from the speakers, it was a soft and ethereal ballad on piano, something soothing. Victor’s pheromones were calming, the alpha scented the room but not pushing. Vicchan lay in his lap, Makka curled up at the opposite end of the couch enjoying foot pets from two pairs of feet.

“You’ll feel better once it’s done.”

He rubbed the back of his head into the firm chest behind him, “I know...but...what if she did know?”

Viktor responded by tucking his nose into the inky black hair, “Do you really believe that?”

Yuuri paused, allowing Viktor to sit back then shook his head. He knew his sister. She was blunt to the point of weaponized, secrecy was not in her nature. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, he sent the call through. He closed his eyes, counting the seconds until she answered.

“Yuuri,” she greeted, relief evident in her voice. “I found out,” she followed in a rush. “Oh, my god! I couldn’t believe it.”

There was a mix of relief and anger in him. “They...told  _ you _ ?” Yuuri asked quietly, feeling hurt that they told his sister something they should have told him long ago. He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly reminding himself that he wasn’t mad at his sister.

She huffed, he could hear her smoking, “I dragged it out of them. Mom was acting all guilty, Dad all protective, and Minako...well, I could tell she was hiding something. I can’t believe...they all lied to you. Each and everyone of them. All of these years!”

“I know,” Yuuri whispered. “I kept doubting myself.”

“What that must’ve done to your anxiety! Sometimes I wonder who is the parent here.” Her last words were bitter. Mari had taken on a lot in her early years, working at the inn, babysitting her brother, making sure he got to the rink, to the lessons, to the competitions. All this was done without complaint but the betrayal she saw in her parents changed something in her relationship with them. They didn’t feel like the team they had been.

Yuuri smiled briefly at those words. He always felt that combination of parental and sisterly vibe from her. “So...did you find out...why they lied?”

She paused on the line, he heard her suck in a gasp. “Fuuuuuck! You still don’t know.” He could hear her irritated hiss on the other end of the call, the phone dropping as she talked in rushed Japanese to another person. Yuuri strained to hear but then she was back. “Yuuri…”

“I only know they tried to keep Victor and me apart.” He laughed looking at the pair of feet running toes through the curly fur of their now-shared dog. “They failed at that. He’s...well, we bonded. He’s my mate.”

Mari’s voice softened. “Congratulations. I’m glad you worked it out with him at least.” Her tone changed back to business. “I’m out. I don’t know if you knew that. I moved out after I found out. I still work there but at the end of the day, I walk away.”

Yuuri’s lips parted in surprise, shaking his head before answering, “No, Yuuko didn’t say anything and well, she’s the only one I’ve talked to since...since I found out.”

“Yeah, after shit hit the fan, I packed my shit and moved out. I’m...well, I’m living with Aiko.”

“Oh, the boyfriend,” Yuuri answered leaning forward. “Are you...is it okay?”

Mari laughed and it felt warm. “He’s good to me, if that’s what you are asking. We’re still learning to live together but...I think in the long run, we’ll be good. He has the cutest Akita and we both spoil him relentlessly. I didn’t realize how much I missed your dog until I started playing with his.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to meet him!” Yuuri squealed.

“The dog or the man?” his sister asked, her wry voice coming through.

Yuuri giggled. “Honestly, I meant the dog but yeah, I’d like to meet your boyfriend, too.”

“You’d have to come home to do that,” she pointed out. “What’s the chance of that happening?”

Yuuri sighed, a frown back on his face. “Their reason...or reasons…”

Mari’s was clearly uncomfortable. She was never one to keep things, but at the same time, “I won’t tell you. I think...it’s not my place unless they refuse to tell you. It’s...worth listening to. I’m not saying it excuses their behavior, but...hell, I don’t know what to say about it all...but at least you will know. Then you can decide from there where you want to go with it.”

“Vitya...he said that he thought Okaasan looked scared when...when they separated us.”

She hissed. “I think...that would be a reasonable assessment. I know you. You’re still mad. Hell, I am, too. This family never talks shit out. But...give them a chance. When you’re ready.”

Yuuri leaned back, looking up to Victor who watched him with concern, only hearing one side of the conversation. He may understand Japanese but not as fluently as Yuuri spoke when with his sister. He nodded. “I will. I...I need to finish my semester. And I really want my heat out of the way. But after.”

Mari sighed, “And you won’t call?”

“I think it’s something I need to handle face-to-face.” He was firm. He needed to be able to see his parents, read their body language to understand their supposed motives.

Mari hummed, both understanding and agreeing. “Then let me know when you’re coming. I’m assuming you might not want to stay there right away.”

“Do you have space?”

“We have a guest room. Although if you bring Vicchan, it might be interesting.”

“Well, we have two dogs between us. Vicchan and Makkachin. But they do well with other dogs.”

“Good. We’ll have a nice family reunion. Introduce the kids.”

Yuuri smiled at that thought. “Okay...until then.”

“Bye Yuuri.”

He turned to curl into Victor. The alpha waited, letting Yuuri figure out his words. “I think...maybe you were right. My mom was scared.”

Victor put his arms around the small form of the man, “So...what do you want to do about it?”

“I...want to go home after the semester. Do you think we can work together on our programs in Japan while I work through this with my family?”

“Absolutely. As long as there is ice.”

“I probably have access to both ice and a studio.”

* * *

  
  
  


Yuuri stretched out in bed, warm and satisfied. Victor had been seeing that he was satisfied for the last five days. And he found himself growing very bold and satisfying Victor several times as well. Still, he sometimes found himself not quite believing the hand fate had dealt him. He hugged himself, and then giggled when a pair of arms snaked around his waist. Well, maybe he’ll be a little late for practice that morning. It’s not like they had a competition coming up.

An hour later Yuuri sat at the bar, indulging in a bowl of cereal. Victor looked at his choice critically but Yuuri smirked his direction. It’s not like the alpha wouldn’t indulge his every desire and this was such a small thing.

“I’ll be late again,” Victor stated as he reached for his keys.

“Yakov?”

He hummed in agreement. “I need to work through what he sent back. I’m still not happy with the result.”

“Maybe it’s not the right program,” Yuuri suggested. He was very aware that Victor had given away two perfectly good programs, one to himself and one to the Russian Yuri. He was looking forward to skating against that one. Victor talked about the potential talent in him. He knew he’d watched his programs himself but his mate said he was holding back. The deal was he had to win a Junior World gold without quads. 

“Maybe but it’s what I got at the moment.”

“What story do you want to tell?”

Victor shrugged. Even with Yuuri in his life, he still struggled telling his own story. Pulling on his jacket, he said, “I’ve still got time.”

Yuuri could tell the man was avoiding the question. He hummed thoughtfully, before suggesting, “Come by the studio after you’re finished for the day.”

“It’ll be late,” Victor pointed out.

Yuuri shrugged, “Maybe we’ll have a cheat night. The pizza place next door is amazing. Stop in and grab us a pie.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been...indulging in quite a few carbs lately.” Victor bit his tongue, he didn’t like talking about diet and bodies, but figure skating was a difficult sport. And he suspected it wasn’t an idle indulgence but something else coming up.

Yuuri huffed. “Let’s just say with my new...aerobic activities and cross-training...I feel okay with it.”

Victor hummed thoughtfully, moving in to kiss him good-bye. As they parted, he rested his forehead against Yuuri’s. “Are you sure it isn’t something more?”

“No, it’s not. My heat should move closer to your rut, not further,” he stated adamantly.

Victor hummed noncommittally before stepping back and waving. “I’ll see you at seven at the studio.”

* * *

  
  


Yuuri had Victor’s  [ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX11yw6YL1w) on loop, he lived with the man so it wasn’t a secret. He’d run through the choreography several times, he wasn’t sure how Victor would respond. He didn’t even know if he was right to suggest something.  _ I’m just me. _

Victor walked in, and stilled, finding a table to set down the box, lest he drop it. He watched Yuuri capture the music with his body, and Victor suddenly could see the program as it was meant to be. He felt Yuuri’s heart beating within his own. They were both shaken through this entire experience, it was their story, their lives, their love. And so many well-meaning adults nearly destroyed this beauty. But here they were climbing out of the ruins that were their lives, restoring the tatters left behind by lies, healing each of their souls.

But it was also something for Victor to have as his own. His life had been a struggle to find happiness and meaning with another. And twice that was ripped from him. The first when his parents died, second when Hiroko rejected him and practically pushed hope out of him. This song was his survival through the darkness, his loneliness, the bad nights, the empty bed, the loveless sex. He was shifting through his own ashes and now able to let his love show confident that it will never be taken away again.

Yuuri came to the closing pose, finally letting his eyes rest on his partner, his mate. The low light and shadows only added to the mood with the black tights and shirt. Yuuri came forward, reaching for Victor. “Are you mad?”

Victor quickly shook his head but struggled to find words.

“I wasn’t sure if this was okay, but you were fighting to get it right and I thought...if you don’t like it, I understand...”

A teary chuckle slipped from his lips as he pressed his fingers to Yuuri’s lips for a change. “It was...perfect.”

Yuuri shook his head, taking his hand and guiding him into the room. “It’s not...it needs work. But I know it is something you can make beautiful.”

“Like...the song.”

Yuuri nodded, happiness slipping from him. “It’s just, Ketty finally finished my song and...I really wanted you to have this.”

The alpha paused, blinking, “Wait...she finished?”

Yuuri nodded. “Would you like to hear it?”

“Yes! How could you make this about me when you have this?”

Yuuri laughed, leaning in to press his lips to Victor’s repeatedly. “Because...it’s always...about  _ us _ .” He then switched the track, settling into the new  [ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7btsuRT3M1Q&t=28s) . Victor gasped as it seemed to flutter out of the speakers, Yuuri’s laughter, the way Yuuri’s heart beat, it was all there. He could see the beautiful program in his thoughts already. He was stuck on his own program but with Yuuri, it came easy. 

He knew he wouldn’t tell Yuuri. Not yet. But he knew...this was his final year. He would skate the program as Yuuri redeveloped it, the fresh choreography made for him. But he was finished. He wanted to devote his time to his mate, he wanted to focus on them. He had spent too many years pushing emotions away, and now he wanted to embrace them, enjoy them.

They spent the evening working on the choreography for the new program, pizza being consumed intermittently. And every time Yuuri came near him, he knew by the sharpness of the omega’s scent...he would be in heat sooner rather than later.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuuri woke feeling hot and sweaty, moving out of the nest to take a shower. He groaned as he stood up. He knew this feeling well. “It’s early. Why is it early?”

Victor shifted up, his hand running his hand up and down the omega’s back. “Perhaps it was the bond.”

The omega hadn’t thought about that but hummed in agreement. “Keep me company? I need to cool off.”

“Of course.” He followed Yuuri into the bathroom and the omega was surprised when he followed him on into the shower. Victor took the washcloth and began to thoroughly wash away the sweat even as he kept an even flow of conversation going. Yuuri leaned into him and Victor could feel Yuuri giving into his care. “We should go ahead and stock up on extra quick meals and water.”

“I don’t eat much but I don’t know what you need. Do you think your rut will hit?”

Victor hummed as he thought about it. “It’s possible. Mated pairs typically sync up fairly quickly. Should I get some condoms?”

“You can but we are beyond the month timeframe. I...I also picked some up at the free clinic on campus.”

Victor blinked in surprise. “Oh...okay.”

“They said...have you been tested?”

Victor wrapped his arms around him pressing a kiss into the bondmark. “Long time ago and many times since. I would never put you in jeopardy.”

“I thought so, it's just...we never really talked about it. I guess...we can skip the condoms.” Victor helped him out of the shower and dried him off, the younger man looking weary but relieved from the shower. Yuuri groaned as they crawled back in bed, preheat cramps making it undeniable. Ever the attentive mate, Victor found his heating pad. Yuuri raised an eyebrow as Victor tended to him, “How did you know?”

“The signs were there, you just didn’t want to talk about it.” He settled back into the nest, opening up to welcome his mate.

Yuuri rested back into Victor’s embrace, only underwear covering their bodies for the moment. “I...I suppose we should go through the toybox tomorrow. Maybe talk about what we like?”

“Yuuri, this is about you,” Victor argued. “I need to know what  _ you  _ like.”

The omega huffed at that, turning to look back at him. “It’s about  _ us  _ and what  _ we  _ like. Besides, we’ll likely get into your rut before it’s all said and done.”

* * *

  
  


Yuuri sat in the middle of the nest, the lid of the black box set aside, checking on the different toys to see if they were in good working order when Victor walked in. He wasn’t quite sure how he was meant to respond walking in on his mate surrounded by sex toys. A mixture of embarrassment and curiosity seemed to be what was on order.

Yuuri looked up and hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t know how much of this I’ll need, since I’m not wholly dependent upon them this time.”

Victor blushed at the compliment. “With your stamina, I’m sure there will be some that we make use of,” Victor responded, moving towards the bed and cautiously climbing into the nest. “Which ones are your favorite?”

Yuuri looked at the different items, separated by type then ordered by size. “Well, this is my favorite  [ plug ](https://loveplugs.co/collections/anal-sex-toys/products/s-m-l-purple-silicone-butt-plug-3pcs-set) as you well know,” he answered, motioning towards the purple one from before. “It’s simple and keeps me feeling stretched for some time.” He then reached for a long black dildo. “This one is probably my go to for feeling full. It has a nice curve to it.” He then picked up a couple of vibrators. “I like this ringy  [ one ](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/male-masturbators/p/hot-octopuss-pulse-solo-essential-vibrating-male-masturbator-/a42912g78182.html) but not when I’m over sensitive. This other  [ one ](https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/prostate-toys/sp-adam-eve-silicone-warming-prostate-massager-105134.aspx) , it hits just right against my p-spot.” He then spread his hands towards the others. “Of course, I have the others in case one dies on me. So really, anything I’ve kept is open for use.”

Victor swallowed as he took in the collection. Chris would be proud if he knew someone had a sex toy collection that would rival his own. Although, Chris’ included kinkier options. “Did all of this come in the starter kit?”

Yuuri snorted. “Of course not. That was like...seven years ago. I’ve picked up a few things. Although my favorite dildo is from that original set.” He then cocked his head and asked, “Do you have toys?”

Victor all of the sudden felt very prudish as he murmured, “A few.”

“Show me what you like,” Yuuri prompted, tilting his head to one side curious about Victor’s embarrassment.

The alpha moved to the closet and pulled out a small box containing a cock sleeve and a smaller dildo and vibrator. He looked down as if they were the wrong things to have, unsure how Yuuri would respond.

The omega’s eyes were wide as he took in the tiny collection. “Oh, god...I didn’t realize. You...you like to be penetrated.”

He shrugged, looking away. “Not all of the time.”

Yuuri could read his mate very well and he knew that Victor liked it when Yuuri was in charge. “As much as we talked about how you don’t fit the mould...and I am guilty of stereotyping you. I think...I’d like to try switching. Is that...do you want…”

Victor shrugged. “Only if you really want to.”

“I’ve wanted to try it,” Yuuri confessed. “I just didn’t think you’d want to. I guess...I wasn’t listening well enough.”

Victor tucked away his little box of toys. “I also really like the way you ride me.”

Yuuri went up on his knees and leaned towards him, pulling him into a kiss. As they parted, he huffed. “Never be afraid to tell me what you like. I’m willing to try. I might find it is something I like as well.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

Toys cleaned, charged, and tucked away, they found themselves in bed once more, Yuuri teasing Victor relentlessly with his tongue, sucking on ice and sliding the cold appendage over sensitive nipples. Victor’s hands remained fisted in the sheets, his body tightly strung from the teasing. He was so focused on what Yuuri was doing with his tongue that he gasped in surprise when he felt a finger sliding down the cleft of his ass. 

“Y-yuuri.”

“Color, Vitya,” the omega demanded.

“G-green.”

“You’re so good for me.” Yuuri’s voice was like honey.

“Y-you’re relentless.”

Yuuri smirked in response, rubbing against that ring of muscles causing Victor to close his eyes. Yuuri immediately withdrew his touch. “Uh-uh-uuuuh,” he chastised. “Eyes on me, Vitya.”

Those blue eyes snapped open as he muttered, “Relentless,” only to gasp as that finger breached his entrance. “Wh-when did you get lube?”

Yuuri snorted. “You have been very distracted.”

The alpha couldn’t believe that Yuuri wanted to switch that night. They talked about it extensively throughout the evening. Yuuri made a good point in saying it was something they should try before their heat and rut set in.

Victor hissed as he felt that finger sink inside. Yuuri’s eyes were sharp as they took in his reaction. “Are you okay, Vitya? Still green?”

The alpha nodded but hearing Yuuri’s disapproving click of the tongue, he quickly answered, “Y-yess, green.”

Yuuri hummed with approval and began a steady exploration, soon adding a second finger. He watched Victor’s eyes narrow as he sank deeper into the third, checking once more, “Color, sweetheart.”

The response was slow but as Yuuri slowed the stretching movements, “Green”, made it to the surface.

Yuuri’s eyes widened as he saw how quickly Victor went down. It was one of the things the alpha had talked to him about that afternoon, what to expect. However, seeing it, he realized how vulnerable Victor was to someone who didn’t have his best interests at heart. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I’m going to take the best of care of you,” he murmured. Victor hummed in response, reaching down to squeeze Yuuri’s free hand.

Yuuri finally withdrew his fingers, cleaning up on the towel he set aside for the activity. “Do you still want me to…”

Victor groaned out a “please” as he stared at Yuuri languidly. The omega blushed but nodded. God, he was amazing. Yuuri reached for the lube and made sure to slick up his own length to prepare for the alpha. He was adamant he didn’t want to hurt the man.

Raising one leg over his shoulder, the other hooked loosely around him, he lined up and slowly pushed in, watching Victor’s expression, listening to the moan that escaped those lovely pink lips. “God, you’re perfect,” he whispered. He was in and sinking slowly deeper. Victor groaned as he pushed deeper inside until finally, he was settled. Pausing, letting himself and Victor adjust, he asked, “Color.”

“Green. Definitely green,” Victor responded.

Yuuri smiled at the eagerness of those words. Interesting that Victor started to surface during this part, as if the true submission was letting go to begin with.

Yuuri slowly began to rock into Victor and smiled as Victor made such beautiful sounds, loving that this was his, that Victor was his. He could feel the alpha through the bond, knew he was at ease although he could see that Victor was floating once more. He let him drift, calling for a response every so often. He then felt Victor’s hand grasping for his own. “What is it, love?”

“C-close…”

Yuuri smiled, letting the control he held so tightly over himself until this moment slip just enough. And then he felt Victor’s body shudder and tighten around him, the waves of orgasm wrapping around his own length.  _ Oh, wow!  _ Yuuri’s movements stuttered a moment, before resuming, pushing through his own orgasm.

Yuuri collapsed across Victor’s chest and felt those arms wrap around him. They were still tightly bound together, Yuuri still inside him for the moment although he knew he’d slip out eventually, he couldn’t knot the alpha. He felt such a rush, though. Pushing up as he eased out of Victor, making a face at the mess he made of his lover, he studied his partner.

Victor rubbed his arms, hugged his body. He shivered and Yuuri quickly reached for blankets to pull over the two of them, moving up Victor’s body to wrap him up in his arms. Clean up could come later. At this moment, he needed to hold his alpha, his Vitya. He felt Victor rub his cheek into his chest. Yuuri pressed a kiss into the alpha’s tangled hair. He loved seeing Victor’s hair all mussed, either with sleep or sex. Sometimes both. It was just another part of him that was real, reserved for only Yuuri to see.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


NOTE: I know, Yuuri is only 22, Victor 26. I scooted Yura up a year. So he is 15 in this one. Not that he really makes an appearance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the heat chapter...I think. It has to be. Truly, it took me forever to write that chapter. After this one, I told Blu, I've written all the sex. There is no more in me. lol...and so here we are. I did threaten to just post a blank chapter with the following...
> 
> [Insert heat chapter here.]
> 
> But there is truly a chapter written...I think. I guess we'll find out next week. Enjoy the holiday. Also, I think I've caught up to Blu's edits on Sirin and I'm not sure what their holiday plans are, so we'll see if another goes up or not. If not, that's cool...it'll go up eventually.
> 
> Be safe and if you are traveling, safe travels! Let me know how you are doing!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it to Yuuri's heat and hopefully, Victor's rut. My goal for this chapter is for it to show character growth and understanding of our characters during this full chapter of something that can only be categorized as porn. ;) Enjoy the sexy times and the way they love one another.
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for all of your TLC to this chapter and story.

Yuuri stretched out with a groan, the fingers of heat digging into his skin. He felt cool water and opened his eyes, looking up into the tender concern of his partner. “I don’t think that’s going to cool me off this time,” he whispered, his voice scratchy. He soon had a water bottle and drank it greedily. Handing it over, he heard it drop into the trash can with Victor’s assist. As soon as his alpha returned, he leaned into that chest, hungry for connection, even at this early stage of his first shared heat. They had dealt with the beginning stages, Victor wiping the feverish sweat away from his brow. He wanted to use this time to dig deeper into reaffirming their relationship with more contact.

Yuuri twisted in his arms, seeking Victor’s kiss. “Take care of me, Vitya,” he whispered as their lips parted. He felt Victor’s fingers slide up his bare skin, that fire blooming along its path. “Fuck,” he breathed. He was already so sensitive.  _ God, heat had never been this intense. Is it him? Is it us?  _ Victor laid him back into the mattress, drawing off the one piece of fabric covering his body, his underwear, Yuuri lifting his hips to accommodate. He ached, his cock already so sensitive he swore he could see Viktor just looking at him. “Vitya,” he begged.

Victor returned to attend his mate, moving up his body, fingers dancing along the surface even as Yuuri squirmed in response. He stopped at Yuuri’s waist, his fingers playing with those hip bones. A whine rose from his mate, silenced to a whimper as Victor nuzzled the nest of hair holding his length, hard and leaking already. A pink tongue darted out of the alpha’s lips, tasting the precum as he teased the head, giving extra attention to the slit.

The sensation of Victor’s tongue, the subtle feel of his breath on his skin left the omega reeling for more.

“Don’t tease, don’t tease,” Yuuri begged, arching his back. “I need...I need...to feel you.”

Victor chuckled, pushing those hips back down. He sucked on the tip before slowly sinking deeper. The groan from Yuuri’s lips was completely sinful and worked on Victor as no orchestra ever had. His own body responded as if in a mating call. Victor went to work, bobbing his head up and down, long pulls and then a tease of the tongue over the glans before sinking back down. Yuuri shifted, groaning as he aborted an upward thrust.

“P-please,” the omega begged, his eyes closed, his body tense and tight, needing that first release.

Victor’s tongue traced up the underside, wrapping his lips around Yuuri once more, before hollowing his cheeks while he resumed bobbing. He could hear Yuuri’s breathing change, he could smell the sharp scent of heat and arousal filling the room, he could feel Yuuri’s fingers tightening in his hair and then releasing, having abandoned the sheets with that action.

“I’m...I’m….going to…” Yuuri’s body went rigid in his arms as the man released into Victor’s mouth, the alpha humming as he swallowed, savoring the salty taste of his lover before coming off of him.

The alpha crawled the rest of the way up Yuuri’s body, seeking a kiss and Yuuri eagerly moving up into his arms looking for the same. The omega hummed appreciatively. “Still...need you,” he hissed.

Victor well knew he hadn’t even taken the edge off of the omega’s need, his hand reaching down to work another orgasm from his mate’s still hard length. “I’ve got you,” he promised between kisses.

Yuuri grew quickly impatient and was soon thrusting into Victor’s hand, his own fingers tangled back into the sheets. “Need...need...please…”

“Take whatever you need, love. Whatever you need.”

Yuuri groaned, twisting, reaching behind him. Victor followed the action his hand sliding over the top of Yuuri’s and sinking down into the omega’s entrance along with Yuuri’s finger. They both continued to work his hole open, Yuuri lost into his pants as the wave of heat enveloped him, Victor stretching Yuuri while thrusting into Yuuri, fingers finding those sensitive nerves. Yuuri came quickly to that touch, his body shaking and curling up in response.

Victor reached over and grabbed a wet wipe, quickly cleaning his omega up and tossing the evidence into the trash outside the nest. Yuuri shivered and Victor reached for the comforter to cover them both up. The body remained still in the alpha’s arm for mere minutes before he started squirming restlessly.

Yuuri thrashed a bit, wanting something else, something more. “Need your cock,” he demanded. He felt Victor behind him, pressing a kiss into his neck, sucking on the gland. He swatted at him. “No...no...in me...now.” He then rolled over, shifting, the blanket falling away as he stretched and presented his ass on full display, preening at the gasp that emitted from his mate.

Yuuri could be bold in bed. They both knew it. Even when Victor would grow shy, Yuuri could seduce him back into the moment with the greatest sensitivity. This was on the next level, though, blatant, demanding. Victor shifted, knowing his lover was well stretched and ready to receive him. Moving behind Yuuri, he traced his finger down Yuuri’s spine, watching that form arch beautifully in the way only Yuuri could.

Victor’s own cock had been waiting, ready but holding back for Yuuri. While he wanted this experience to be good for his partner, he knew that Yuuri would insist that it be good for both of them. Fortunately, working together the men would make it bliss for both. Guiding himself into position, he slowly sank into the omega, blushing at the sound that came from his lover as he accepted the intrusion. The moans of ecstacy only served to increase his desire. Yuuri would certainly be the death of him, but what a way to go.

“Yeeeeessss,” Yuuri groaned, even as Victor settled deep inside him. Yuuri was aware of their differences. However, whereas his shorter length was perfect for Victor, Yuuri reveled in the longer length of his lover and how full it made him feel. Victor was battling with his own feelings at the moment, the tightness of his lover, the gorgeous newness of this shared heat, and the feeling of finally connecting completely. Then there was the amazing feeling of every pulse of Yuuri’s body, the very motion of his blood, sending little shockwaves up Victor’s already hard cock. It was a battle of staying perfectly still to savor the torturous perfection of the moment, and the greedy need to tear into the other man like a meal to the starving. Yuuri ended his indecision with a simple order, grinding his hips back into his lover. “Move, Vitya...now.” Okay, Yuuri was also very impatient. Especially during his heat.

Victor groaned as he answered that grind with an easy thrust deeper into his lover, listening to Yuuri’s hiss in response. He eased out and heard Yuuri’s huff of frustration even as Victor laughed warmly, thrusting back in hard.

“Yes!” Yuuri cried out. 

He lowered his head to Yuuri’s back, knowing the skin was sensitive. He blew a cold breath on the shoulder then teased, “You want it hard?”

Yuuri glared back over his shoulder. Victor gulped at the look from his lover. He had thought of Yuuri as the meal only to now see he was on the plate himself and ready to be devoured by this man. “And fast, please...I’m not some porcelain doll you’re going to break.”

Victor smirked before pulling out once more, slamming back into his lover. He knew he wouldn’t be able to do this through the entirety of Yuuri’s heat but he could do this for now, setting a steady pace to Yuuri’s encouraging “yes” and “please” and “harder”, some of which came out in Japanese. 

Victor was close and he was holding back with everything he had. He may need to invest in a cockring to keep up with his lover. However, with Yuuri’s heat, he didn’t seem interested in holding back, crying out as he started tensing up.

Yuuri released hard into the sheets and Victor couldn’t hold back any longer as he felt Yuuri’s orgasm vibrate through his walls and echo through their bond. Yuuri called out, “knot”, even as he felt his body start to unfurl and he nodded, thrusting harder to push past Yuuri’s rim. As he settled in, feeling himself inflate, he felt the omega’s body shake through another orgasm. Victor felt his own release overwhelming him, folding his body around Yuuri. He remained like that for some time, holding Yuuri wrapped in his arms as he covered the omega’s body with his own.

“I love you,” he whispered, his cheek turning to rest in the center of Yuuri’s back.

“Mmmm….love you, too,” Yuuri answered.

Victor didn’t need to hear the words. They paled in comparison to the emotions wrapping around him through the bond. “My beautiful mate,” he whispered, turning to press a kiss on Yuuri’s spine. He knew they had some time before his knot went down. Especially during Yuuri’s heat and his own rut pending. He carefully turned them, hearing Yuuri’s cries, his rim sensitive. Reaching for the blanket, he settled in for them to sleep.

* * *

  
  


He knew Yuuri would be demanding during his heat. He was a relentless force without the urgency of biological demand. However, Victor wasn’t sure if he had another orgasm in him after the third day. He needed his rut to kick in soon or he would actually die. He could feel it start to pool in his stomach but it hung back and that only served to frustrate the alpha. The fact that Yuuri was doing everything possible on an instinctive level to edge that rut into gear only made it worse.

“I think...we need to break out the toys,” he finally announced.

Yuuri blinked in surprise before nodding. He crawled over Victor causing the alpha to groan, reaching down over the wall of the nest to pull off the lid and rummage through, picking out his favorite dildo. He wanted to feel full. He then hummed as he reached for a vibrating sleeve.

Victor was rewarded with the view of Yuuri’s ass in all of this. His hand went down to cup one cheek, squeezing it and enjoying the firmness that answered back to his touch. He loved Yuuri’s body, the way Yuuri would work it into submission to get ready for the season, the places where he would gain in the offseason, putting the softness in just the right places. He could even imagine Yuuri round with pregnancy. He smiled at the idea of creating a family with Yuuri. Not that they didn’t already have one. Between the dogs, their coaches, their rinkmates...and hopefully Yuuri’s family. He felt himself pause for a moment. Hiroko’s face, a look of utter distrust, and something more...something so much darker.  _ Pain? Would she accept me? Would she like me? Would any of them ever welcome me in? What if it was me all along? What does she see in me that is so horrible? _

He didn’t realize Yuuri had returned until he felt a hand on his cheek, the omega pushing aside his heat to study him with concern. “Sorry...I got lost in my head.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Yuuri answered. “Do we need to talk?”

“Your heat,” he protested.

He sat back on his feet, making it clear this was a time out from that. Their emotional stability always came first. “It’s there...but you’re more important.”

Victor swallowed, hating this becoming about him. Yet he knew Yuuri would always come back to that. Yuuri always made it about them, not himself. He also knew Yuuri would wait for him to talk. Talking was better than other things. Bottling things up always made things worse for him, made things...harder to work through. “I don’t want them to hate me,” he whispered finally.

Yuuri’s hand tightened on his cheek. “I...don’t think they hate you, sweetheart. How could they?”

“I’m just scared that...for some reason it was about me. Maybe I’m a bad alpha and your mom could see it. I...I can’t even keep up with your heat.”

Yuuri chuckled with that, soft and warm like honey. “Darling, it isn’t a race. I want you here, with me...any way that you can be with me. But I want you to be comfortable in who you are while here. You...are an amazing alpha. You take such good care of me...you always have, even when I didn’t know it. And these toys...they only work as an extension of you. They aren’t replacing you. But...if they upset you, we can put them away, take things slow and easy, talk as needed, and love one another.”

Victor thought about it, and the toys really did bother him. Just like his own toys bothered him, they were a reminder of his time alone. He spent so long without anyone. “I...I don’t want the toys. M-maybe we try outside of heat first? Like the other?”

Yuuri hummed at that, an idea coming to mind. “Like the other, huh...Vitya, will you let me fuck you? Do you feel comfortable switching with me during my heat?”

Victor blinked up at him. “But...don’t you have to...don’t you need me to be…” He flailed, not sure how to express himself.

“You’re right...I need you.” Yuuri leaned down, pushing Victor back into the pillows he could see his mate excited at the prospect of being fucked and wanted to play into that seductive side. “Anyway I can have you. That need to be filled, though...it’s strongest in the beginning. Now...now, I just need us to be together. I need you to be honest with me, though.”

Victor nodded, opening his mouth, knowing it wouldn’t be enough. “I...I need you, too. I think...I may need it to start my rut.”

Yuuri’s eyes widened, realizing the strain on his partner. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you. You took such care of me...it’s time for us to trade places for a bit. Okay?”

Victor nodded, watching Yuuri reach over and drop the toys back into the box. “Can I...I want to see you.”

Yuuri’s expression grew tender and Victor felt those emotions echo through the bond. “Of course, love...anything for you.” He reached for the nightstand and opened it up, pulling out the lube. “I’m going to take my time opening you up because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“‘Kay,” Victor answered, already feeling himself sinking. He swallowed, and soon had a bottle of water in his hands.

“Drink that up for me first. I’ll finish one off as well.” They both downed the liquid and then Yuuri took them both and chunked them into the now overflowing trash can.

Victor eased back down, feeling more alert as Yuuri began to gently tease him, he shifted as Yuuri’s hand wrapped around his length, he groaned under Yuuri’s ministrations. This was what he needed. Now that they’d opened the door to this, Victor knew some part of him had been begging for it.

Yuuri’s touch was firm and Victor once more was surprised when a lubed finger stealthily found its way to his hole. He would have to find out how Yuuri did that, not that the omega didn’t produce more than enough slick. Yuuri kissed his inner thigh and then Victor hissed as he felt Yuuri suck marks into the flesh. That finger slowly sank into him and he realized all of these things were to help him relax.

He felt his eyelids droop, opening and closing slowly as the second finger sank in. But then Yuuri stilled much to his frustration. He forced those eyes open with a huff.

“How are you doing, love?”

Those words came at him slowly although he was sure Yuuri said them at a normal speed. “It’s...like...before,” he answered, forcing those words out one at a time.

Yuuri nodded. “I thought so. You seem to be sinking. Color?”

“Green. You...take care...of me.”

“Always. I’m going to add a third. Are you okay with that?”

Victor nodded then switched to words, “Y-yes, green.”

“So good for me,” Yuuri praised and watched Victor’s expression relax into a smile.

That third finger joined the others and Victor groaned at the stretch. He needed this, needed Yuuri to be in control, he’d spent three days in control and it was so hard. He knew he didn’t like being in charge all the time, and he really loved Yuuri taking care of him, letting him sink into a place of pleasure without words or thought, just sensation. They would need to talk about this...after.

Yuuri’s fingers pulled out and Victor pouted. Chuckling, he promised, “I have something better for you, sweetheart.” Reaching above Victor’s head, he grabbed a pillow. “I’m going to tuck this under your hips to help you hold your position, love. Okay?”

Victor nodded but noticed Yuuri didn’t move so he added, “Yes. ‘s fine.”

A smile quirked one side of Yuuri’s lip even as he tapped Victor’s hip. “Up for me, please.”

Victor lifted his hips and the pillow slid into place. Yuuri kept one hand on his hip as he adjusted with the other. Once satisfied, he moved into position. “Color, Vitya.”

“G-green. ‘Ank you…”

Yuuri smiled, his expression soft. “You’re very welcome. Are you ready for me?”

He nodded, lifting his hips. “Want you,” he answered.

Yuuri slipped his fingers back in just to be sure before lining up to his lover. He pushed in slowly watching Victor’s eyes and facial expressions for any sign of hesitance. He was amazed at how well Victor accepted him. He loved the feeling of Victor wrapped around his own length. “God, you feel amazing, Vitya,” he groaned even as he settled.

“You do, too,” he answered, his voice still holding onto that distant quality.

Yuuri smiled even as he began to slowly rock into him. “Talk to me, Vitya.”

Victor blinked before saying, “Not...doll...harder...faster.”

Yuuri snorted, getting the message quickly. “Yes, love...I hear you loud and clear.” He edged up his speed, moving more quickly into his partner, until he had a steady pace, slamming into his partner. Victor’s head fell back, mouth open as he answered those movements with groans.

Yuuri continued to watch and then he smiled as Victor began to meet his thrusts. Those eyes were clearer, as Victor reached out a hand, taking his. “Are you with me?”

“Yes...yes...I think...I needed this…” 

“Good...I always want to give you what you need.”

“Love you,” he answered, followed by a hiss.

Yuuri stilled. “Are you okay?”

Victor nodded. “Need...more. Want...more….”

Yuuri listened to the change in Victor’s voice. “You’re rut?”

“Close...please...keep going…” Victor could feel a power growing in his abdomen, something almost primal coming up, surging to the skin, waiting for break through.

Yuuri nodded, resuming his movement. “Whatever you want…” He thrust harder into Victor, his partner crying out in response. Victor was tight and although Yuuri fit well in him, he could feel his control slipping. “Vitya...I’m close.”

“M-me too,” he answered, reaching down to pull at his own length. A long groan released from Victor and Yuuri watched the color spill over his skin. 

“Oh,” Yuuri whispered.

He watched as Victor continued to pull out his release. God, he was beautiful laid out before Yuuri like that. He shook himself back to the task at hand and resumed his own actions, filling Victor repeatedly.

A groan from the other man was followed by his release, hard and strong as that body tightened around Yuuri. The omega couldn’t hold back any longer, releasing hard into him. And for once, he was jealous of alphas, wanting to knot his mate and hold him tight to him, buried deep inside of him.

* * *

  
  


The next two days were filled with them switching back and forth. Yuuri also rode him hard into the sheets. Twice. Victor had never imagined a rut so perfect as the one he shared with Yuuri. On the sixth day, they woke up sore and feeling gross, because sex in all of its glory is also rather sticky and disgusting. They showered. Wandered through the house picking up trash and laundry. Yuuri let Victor order delivery.

As the evening approached, they curled up on the couch, the dogs back home and happy to be back with their owners. Victor held onto Yuuri and the omega could feel the worry drumming into his skin.

“Talk to me.”

Victor huffed, half laughing. “I guess...I’m just scared to meet the parents.”

Yuuri nodded, understanding. “Let’s...look at it this way. This fight is about me. The choices they made that hurt me.”

“And you’re telling me that you won’t be bringing up what went on between your mother and me, between Minako and me? You say everything is about us.”

Yuuri groaned, leaning back to look up at him. “It is...you’re right.”

“So...this is your fight, I agree. I will be there to back you up. But...this is about us.”

“Us,” Yuuri echoed, leaning up to kiss him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters left! Yes, we are headed to Japan.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now in Japan, Yuuri has to face the lies of his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a day later posting than planned. But here we are. My tree is up and after three trips to Walmart, lit up properly. It's a wee thing but I don't have my life together. Let's just call it a pandemic.
> 
> Anyway, I think you are all anxious and eager to get into this chapter. 
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates for your editing! Much appreciated!

* * *

Yuuri scratched at his arm, anxious for the trip ahead of them. In truth, he had avoided thinking of it so well that in the end, he was forced to let Victor take care of the whole thing, making the flight arrangements, making sure their dogs had what was needed. They would be staying with his sister at first while he “got things settled with Mom”. Victor was silently confident that Yuuri and his parents would reconcile, but he had the names of a few hotels they could stay in as insurance. Until then he focused on helping the omega stay calm. Yuuri felt hands smoothing down his arms, pulling his fingernails away from tearing at his skin. Yuuri merely huffed, now fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

Victor now knew why there were so many frays on Yuuri’s shirts and had slowly started working in better quality pieces that could take Yuuri’s worry a little better. This was one of them, the soft material drawing the omega to it more often than others. Victor took note of that and had five more on the way.

The alpha hoped to pull Yuuri from his thoughts, and fortunately had a topic, “Have you contacted your friend so that we can practice at their rink?”

Yuuri nodded, his eyes wide as nerves held on. He felt Victor’s hands squeezing his upper arms, and then the calming pheromones caused him to relax his neck. “Cheating,” he murmured as he leaned back into the alpha.

“I call it...using my resources.”

The omega rolled his eyes but he found himself relaxing into Victor’s arms. “Did you contact Minako?”

“No, you forbade me from talking to her,” Victor pointed out.

He huffed at that. Pulling out his phone, he opened up his text messages and scrolled through to Minako’s messages.  _ Might as well start here. _

**Yuuri/ I know you’ve talked to Mari and know I’m coming in for probably a month. Can I use the studio?**

There was a pause and then he watched the three dots pop on and off as she prepared her response.

**Minako/ Of course. AFTER you talk to your mother.**

Yuuri huffed at that.  _ She hardly has the right to make ultimatums.  _ But then again, part of him worried. Everyone was looking after his mother, even his sister who definitely took his side in the matter.  _ There is something else going on here. And whatever it is, it’s buried deep. _ He turned a worried glance up at his mate. “I don’t know if I’m more angry right now...or worried.”

Victor smoothed some hair on the inky head, “You can be both. I want you to talk to your mother with an open heart, though...you need to hear what she says.”

Yuuri nodded. After talking to his sister, he knew he needed to do this. Mari would only back down for good reason.

* * *

  
  


The plane ride had been daunting, and Yuuri was his typical grouchy self. Victor settled him into a chair while he dealt with the oncoming baggage and pet claim. It took another two hours to sort everything out including customs. Both were glad to see Mari waiting for them.

Still, Yuuri protested, albeit half-heartedly. “You didn’t have to come.”

Victor’s eyes went wide, he couldn’t possibly disagree more. Mari was a welcomed sight, anyone able to navigate the city and take some of the pressure of luggage, two dogs, and a cranky Yuuri was welcome.

“It’s a long trip and you have dogs. Aiko is waiting for us at the car.” Turning to Victor, she took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “It’s nice to meet you in person, finally. I’m Mari.”

Victor smiled, feeling the weariness creep into him now that he knew he didn’t have to take Yuuri that last leg. “Victor, the pleasure is all mine.”

With a motion, she grabbed the handle of one of the bags. “Well, come on.”

At the car, which was really a black, full-sized SUV, they made further introductions. Aiko seemed warm and steady, comfortable enough in his own skin that he gave Mari the space she needed. Yuuri could appreciate that. “Thank you for letting us stay with you,” he stated anyway.

The mild-mannered alpha waved away his concerns. “You are always welcome. Mari talks quite fondly of you.”

A blush dusted Yuuri’s cheeks but then Victor was tucking him inside before loading up the car. Just a short while longer, but Victor didn’t have to worry about renting a car and driving and for that he was grateful.

He knew Yuuri felt comfortable and safe when he finally dozed off, leaning against Victor’s shoulder for the last leg of the trip. Mari looked back, a warm smile on her lips.

“He always travels poorly, never enough rest.”

“Even though he sleeps most of it,” Victor pointed out.

She hummed with a shrug. “Half-sleep. He’s not secure enough to totally become oblivious to his surroundings.”

Victor nodded in acknowledgement. That explained a lot, actually.

* * *

As they finally pulled to a stop, Yuuri snuggled closer, protesting as Victor pressed a kiss into his forehead and worked on waking him up enough to get him inside. “Just a little further, darling, then you can sleep through until morning.”

“Probably should eat first,” Mari pointed out. She smirked at the huff that came from her little brother. “No arguments.”

As they opened the door, the dogs barked excitedly greeting a new friend. Yuuri roused up enough for that, squatting down to pet the new puppy. His name was Koro and he lived up to it as roly-poly as he was. Yuuri shed some of his exhaustion with the dogs all in his lap, and both Victor and Mari snapped pictures.

Aiko went out to pick up dinner while Yuuri and Victor settled into the guest room and took quick showers to wash away the trip, Mari leaned against the door facing to talk with them once they opened the door.

As they sat around the table, Mari began with the important stuff. “So, are you going over tomorrow? Mom’s going to want to know.”

“I am...but maybe not until later. I...want to be rested and in the right mental state.”

She nodded approvingly, turning to Victor with a raised eyebrow. “And what about you?”

“What...would be best?”

She scrunched up one side of her mouth thoughtfully. “Mom will want to talk to Yuuri alone. But Dad will want to meet you...properly. So come on over with him and then Mom can separate Yuuri away from the group.”

“I want to talk to both of them,” Yuuri protested.

“Talk with Mom first...then Dad. Okay?”

Yuuri nodded, not sure how this was going to go but knowing they needed to get all of the secrets out in the open. “Are you...okay?”

She sighed and nodded. “I think this was the push I needed to leave the house. And it’s been good. Aiko and I, we’re finding our couple feet. We still fight from time to time. He says I’m stubborn.”

Yuuri snorted and Victor raised an eyebrow, responding, “It must run in the family.”

“Very much so,” Aiko answered. “I hope you’re ready.”

Victor looked towards his mate, a soft smile on his lips. He’s been waiting for this for so long. “I’m more than ready.”

* * *

  
  


Yuuri turned again, feeling fitful and unsettled. Warm arms wrapped around him, pulling him close to his heart. “It’s going to be okay,” Victor murmured.

“How do you know?” Yuuri fussed.

He squeezed the omega tighter. “I know...because your family loves you. They’ve made some mistakes but they love you. That’s what tells me this will work out.”

Yuuri sighed, turning into Victor’s embrace but burying his face in the chest. “I’m still angry.”

“I’m sure you will be...for as long as it takes to work through your emotions. And that’s okay, too.”

“I may need counseling after this.” He pulled back, brown eyes looking up at Victor’s blue.

The pale face seemed to float on the pillow, his eyes told Yuuri that he had already had this idea. “It will probably be good for both of us to go through some form of counseling to deal with the emotional backlog. Honestly, I think I should have been for a while. Maybe when we return to Detroit, we can find someone.”

Yuuri nodded, snuggling into his chest. “Just stay with me.”

“Always.”

Yuuri closed his eyes and listened to the steady beating of Victor’s heart. Just before he finally settled into sleep, he whispered, “I love you.”

Victor’s arms tightened around him and he pressed a kiss into Yuuri’s hair. “I love you, too.”

* * *

  
  


Yuuri woke up to find his sister gone. Victor was sitting outside the apartment watching the dogs play in a small dog park. Looking up, he smiled, waving at Yuuri. “We’re dogsitting today because I can’t put one dog in a kennel and not the others.”

Yuuri came down the stairs and sat next to him, his frame tense. “Th-that’s fine.”

Victor bumped his shoulder against Yuuri’s. “Do you want to go and get it over with, find some breakfast, or…”

Yuuri pushed up, and reached for his hand. “Let’s get this over with. I won’t be able to eat until then and it will just grow bigger and bigger in my head if I try to do anything else.”

Victor nodded, standing up to join Yuuri. They walked, hand in hand, dog leads in their outer hand. Koro settled in with the other dogs, familiar with the walk to the inn. 

As they reached the gate, Yuuri stilled, pushing and pulling his breath to calm his nerves. Finally, he nodded. “Let’s go.”

They entered through the family entrance, needing the privacy. It would be quiet. Mornings were quiet, only dealing with guests from the inn at that time. Townsfolk would start showing up for lunch and stay until the outer doors closed. Then the only entrance would be to guests who rang the bell.

Yuuri removed his shoes even as Koro took off to search for Mari or treats or both. Makka looked from the retreating dog to her master, waiting for permission to jog off. Victor commanded her to “stay” and she plopped her rear down, her tail swishing back and forth impatiently. Vicchan was struggling against his instincts. This place smelled familiar and he wanted to reacquaint himself with the spaces. However, he was in work mode and stayed close. Yuuri’s energy was anxious and needed the puppy nearby.

Finally, taking a deep breath, he took Victor’s hand and they walked on into the inn, Victor giving a quiet command to heel. Makka walked close to her master, well behaved like the lady she could be. Perhaps she also sensed the tension in the room and wanted to stay close and take care of her master as well.

Yuuri avoided the dining room, entering into the reception space. His father spotted him first, the man rose quickly, then seemed to remember the awkwardness that now plagued their family. He froze, uncertain and walked slowly towards the couple, murmuring an uncertain greeting, “Ohayō gozaimasu, Yuu-chan.”

Yuuri swallowed, holding his father’s face in his gaze. He couldn’t find the words to greet his father, afraid his voice would break. The other man had aged, more so than Yuuri had realized.  _ This has hurt you as well. I never thought of how this would hurt you. _ Yuuri chewed his lip, nervously, fighting back the tears. It was a losing battle, and soon they slid down his face. He remained silent and let his eyes fall from his father’s face.

His father’s expression gentled. Looking up at Victor, he greeted kindly, “You are Yuu-chan’s young man?”

“V-victor, sir,” the alpha responded, suddenly nervous with the focus shifting to him. He held out his hand. “We have met.”

Toshiya looked at it thoughtfully before taking it and giving it a squeeze as he shook it. Recognition crossed his face, mixed with shame. “You...you are the one from before.”

“Y-yes, sir.” Victor wasn’t sure how to talk to this man. This was his father-in-law and he knew that their first meeting was horrible. Would he ever make Yuuri’s family happy? Would this horrible discomfort plague their interactions forever?

“Life has a way of bringing together those who truly belong together.” He then stepped back and guided them through the room and into a garden. “I’ll go find Hi-chan.”

The couple stood nervously, a water fountain babbling behind them, koi fish gaping up at them.

The door burst open, Hiroko coming through with wide eyes and then more tears, both from mother and son. Hiroko stood back nervously, wringing her hands, her eyes peeking towards Victor every so often. Toshiya huffed, taking at least one matter in hand. “Victoru, come. Let us find a drink while these two talk.”

Yuuri shot him a look and Victor said, “Sure...but only a little. I haven’t had breakfast.”

The old man huffed at that, saying as they walked through the door, “I thought you were Russian.”

Victor laughed, feeling a little of his fear melt away. “Yuuri doesn’t really like it if I drink. Not too much, anyway.”

Taking Victor to a private family space, he pulled out the bottle and served up the drink. “Are you a mean drunk?”

Following his father-in-law’s direction, he swallowed down the small cup’s worth. “I’m...a sad drunk.”

“I’m a fun drunk.” He chuckled at that. “I suppose there are worse things. Very well, we’ll be good. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“Thank you.” Victor smiled at the empty glass. He was hoping he could bond with Yuuri’s father but had no idea what to say.

The old man was quiet for a moment before asking, “What do you think about all of this?”

Shrugging he offered, “I’ve made my peace a while ago. I just want to give Yuuri what he needs to mend things.”

“So you want them to reconcile?”

Victor looked up, he saw the unabashed hope in Toshiya’s face. “I haven’t kept him from you.”

The father held up his hands, “No, I know that. I’m sorry. We’re off to a horrible start.” He poured himself another drink, offering some to Victor who declined. “I had hoped Yuuri would bring back some nice person, and we would all get to watch them grow into a relationship. Hiroko offering Yuuri pep talks, and me hiding with the boy, talking soccer and politics.”

Victor sat silent for a moment, it was an olive branch. It was late and broken, but it was an olive branch and he reached for it. “I like soccer. But I’m not really smart about politics.”

Toshiya smiled. “Me neither.”

“I...lost my parents a long time ago.” Victor said quietly. He seldom opened up about his parents to others, but he wanted...he needed this man to like him, to be that father-in-law he wanted. “I miss them, and I think I’ve been looking for family ever since. I know how important family is. I would never wish to separate Yuuri from the ones who loved and raised him.”

The old man smiled approvingly. “Then, let’s drink to the two of them working things out.”

* * *

  
  


Hiroko shifted back and forth on her feet, avoiding eye-contact. Yuuri huffed and walked over to the stone table with two benches, taking one side. He looked towards her and then nodded to the opposite side. She moved hesitantly to the other bench, sitting down across from her son.

She shifted, fidgeting and Yuuri could see so many of his mannerisms in his mother. “We should have tea,” she said finally.

“No.” He could tell she was avoiding the topic and he charged straight at it. “Why?”

She sounded like the breath had been knocked out of her. She shrugged, spreading her hands wide, palms towards the table as if smoothing away a wrinkle. “You were too young.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Yuuri cocked an eyebrow, challenging her. “It was more than that. It has to be more than that.”

Hiroko slapped away some dust, huffing, “He’s an alpha.”

Yuuri was incredulous, his mother had never shown any such prejudice. “So? So is Aiko, and your father. D-did Grandfather do something to you?”

Her eyes flew open wide. “No, of course not!” she rushed.

Yuuri thought back to his childhood. Had there been little moments where his mother did exhibit prejudices of alphas? Were there little stereotypes that he inherited from her? Yes, to both. He even had to admit he walked into his relationship with Victor holding onto some stereotypes that the alpha destroyed. “But there has always been tension between you and them.”

She looked away, collecting her thoughts. “It wasn’t...my father. It was...something else.”

Yuuri started to worry, what was his mother holding onto? What pain was she hiding? “Then tell me, there has to be a reason for you to hold onto that lie for so long.”

“I...wasn’t trying to hurt you, you know. I only wanted to keep you safe.” Her tone was self righteous and Yuuri was only annoyed further.

“Vitya was never a threat, Mom.” He rose, angered that even now he had to justify Victor.

She drew her lips together, the wrinkles settling in to reveal her age and a past habit of smoking. Yuuri saw the wrinkles, remembering when he was five and watched his mother throw away the entire pack because he asked. She had been a lifelong smoker. And one day at the ripe old age of five Yuuri knew it was bad, how he didn’t know, but he had learned in school it was bad. He told his mother, and she threw them out that moment. She never smoked again. She loved him, he knew that. She loved him unconditionally. He just needed to understand.

She tapped the table, her eyes focused on nothing in the center of the table. Another thing he got from her. “I...I could never marry an alpha,” she said finally.

He sat back down, “I’m listening.” It may not have been a strong beginning but he knew sometimes it was easier to start in the middle. He did that sometimes. So he waited.

“I dated alphas. I was...considering one for a mate.” She stopped, then reached in the pocket of her workshirt, pulling out her small wallet. Inside, she pulled free a picture. As she slid it across to him, he recalled seeing it before. It was with others from her childhood. Pictures of a pretty girl, resembling his mother but younger, would sometimes appear in a photo album. But she was never named, never identified, never talked about. She was a ghost of a memory haunting his mother. “This...was my sister.”

Yuuri’s eyes looked sharply up at her then back down to the picture, drawing it closer.  _ Was _ . Not  _ is _ . “Wh-what happened?” The photo was old, and worn. His mother had carried it as a token for years.

“She...she went through a lot.” Hiroko’s voice was choking out the words.

Yuuri was piecing together the horrible narrative his mother was laying before him, “Because...of an alpha?”

Her mother nodded, sniffing back, her eyes welling up with tears. “It was my fault,” she whispered.

Yuuri wrinkled his brow as he tried to puzzle that out. “How?”

“She came to see me. Minako and me, really. We were in college. Living in Fukuoka.” She paused, her eyes looking distant, lost in the memory. A soft laugh slipped out her lips. “She...she was having fun. I enjoyed having my sister around and showed her some of my favorite places. We were showing her the city, getting her ready to join us in a few short years. She was so full of life and ready to move in right away. She was like you, an explorer, brave without knowing it. Sometimes I see so much of her in you. When you went off to America, I thought of her and how she would have loved that courage. She would have loved living in the city. But...then it all went wrong.”

She started tapping again, and Yuuri realized it was a grounding technique. He snapped his fingers and Vicchan came over, the omega lifting him up to the table. He knew something bad was about to come out. He knew it in his bones. And he was as afraid to hear it as she was to tell it.

“I-I left her alone in my apartment. Running out for some stupid errand that I don’t even remember, one of those things people do every day without thinking about it. Just for a short time. I was going to be right back. I was dating this man, this...this alpha. He had always been a little overbearing, but back then I was stupid and thought I liked it. H-he came over and...I was only gone for a short time. H-he...he hurt my baby sister...he took her away from me.”

Yuuri was around the table in a moment, Vicchan crawling into her arms trying to comfort her even as Yuuri’s arms went around her. She shook as she sobbed. They remained like that for a long time. Finally, she calmed, Yuuri sitting down next to her this time. His hand went down her arm, wrapping around her hand.

Finally, she found her voice again. “He...didn’t kill her. Not directly. In the time that I had been out, he raped her, and forced a bond on her, then he took off. We got her to the emergency room, and filed a police report, but there was something broken in her that she couldn’t repair. Maybe, if things had been different back then, if I had been stronger...it doesn’t matter. Nothing we did mattered. She just sort of disappeared over time. Slowly she withered from the inside, dying a little each day until finally with a blade, she let out what little life was left in her form.” She paused thinking of that horrid time. Waking to see her sister walking blindly around the house, her neck red from where she picked at the bond, not letting it heal. Her body demanded she mourn the loss of her mate, someone she never wanted. Then the worst day of her life, finding the blood and the body. Her mother’s wailing and then the screaming and condemning. “When we found her, my mother blamed me. Called me all sort of names, whore, murderer. She told me that this was entirely my fault. I hadn’t protected my sister, I had invited the man that would kill her into her life. She wanted to make me feel all the pain of my sister’s tortured end. She didn’t have to. Not really. I already blamed myself. It wasn’t fair that I got to survive, to live, and she...was gone...like that.”

Yuuri processed that information. He knew there were a lot of details gone from that story. He wasn’t sure if it was important that he knew them. Instead he asked, “Did you ever...seek counseling for...your loss?”

She laughed bitterly. “No, I don’t deserve solace for what I allowed to happen. But I knew I could at least make sure it never happened again. So when that boy showed up I knew I could keep you safe. I could keep it from happening again.”

Yuuri frowned. “Mom, that’s not Victor at all.”

She shook her head, “He was an alpha. You were my baby. I wasn’t going to let him force a bond on you. I certainly wasn’t going to let him steal you away.”

Yuuri thought about that, opening his mouth to start saying something twice before responding, “I think I could make sense if you had just kept us apart. But you...why did you lie? Why did you force me for years to second guess myself? To think I was going crazy?” He heard his voice break and could feel the bile coming back up.

She squeezed her lips together, looking towards the sky. It was such a big question. “I...panicked. I was desperate to keep you away from that boy. It seemed...like the right thing at the time. I kept thinking, ‘he’s so young, he’ll forget soon.’ But you kept on insisting. It had gone too far and I couldn’t turn back and admit the truth and risk losing you. I was afraid for when you learned the truth. I knew you would. But...I knew when it came out, you would push us all away.”

Yuuri processed that for a moment before spilling out his own heart. “You know, all of those times you denied that memory, it made me feel like...something was wrong with me. I began...doubting myself more and more. I even second guessed my own instincts.” He closed his eyes as he found the words to continue. “Mom, I’m on anxiety meds. My therapist said that I had all of the symptoms of a rejected omega. She said she only ever saw these things in divorce and abuse and abandonment cases. Except...I didn’t know there was someone. I had rejected the doctor’s help because I couldn’t accept their diagnosis. Because your lie, I spent years without the help that I needed, badly. It made my anxiety worse. But...I trusted you. Because you are my parent and that means you are supposed to look out for me. Every adult watching out for me has lied to me about all of this. And now I have to repair myself, my instincts, my memory, and my trust.”

Hiroko hung her head, “Don’t blame the others. Minako wanted to tell you. She thought it would be better to tell you, everything. To let you talk to the boy and understand things for yourself. But I wouldn’t let her. Y-your father tried to get me to fix it early on. He knew this would end badly. I-I told him to let me handle omega matters. So really...it was me.”

Yuuri shook his head. “You may have influenced their decisions but they complied with them. Neither stepped in to make it right. And I wasn’t the only one hurt by this. Vitya...he was just a child himself. He only wanted a family. He was reaching out and where you could have chosen compassion, you pushed him away, punishing him for taking care of me. Because that’s what he did. He took care of me when I was most vulnerable. He...he suffers from depression. Not all of that is because of this, but the loneliness that aggravated that depression can be directly tied to this. I think he may have considered suicide. A lot of harm was created by that lie.”

She sat staring at her hands in her lap, feeling the weight of her choices. “I knew I was doing the wrong thing, but I thought it would keep you safe. I was willing to do wrong to keep you safe. I couldn’t lose you...like I lost her.”

Yuuri sat there for a moment. He was stunned into silence, part of him was still furious but he also understood his mother was acting out of an instinct, and worse out of pain that she wasn’t recovering from. “The moment you realized it was not the right thing, you should have corrected it. Definitely when I became an adult. I...understand that you were afraid. I spend most of my life afraid of something...and I have learned it’s better to face that fear and push through rather than let it hold me back.”

He could see her face was red and blotchy, the pain and guilt in her expression. He could still feel his own anger, although it bore down on him less with the sharing. Looking away, across the garden, he considered his next words. “You need to go to counseling.”

She looked at him sharply, eyes wide. “Why?”

Taking a deep breath and letting it out, he continued, “You held onto this guilt regarding your sister for a long time. It explains so much about how you never got along with your own parents. I...don’t want that between us. But you can’t compare my life to hers. I am my own person, I make my own decisions. I think you need to learn how to let go of the guilt that’s tying you to your past.”

“Y-you’re not mad?”

He turned his eyes sharply towards her. “I am furious...I have been since I learned about your lie. And I suspect I will continue to be furious for a long time. But I’m working through it. And will continue working through it with counselors. Victor will be joining me.”

Her eyes rested on the bondmark. “I see he wasted no time marking you.” One last dig into the relationship.

“Don’t talk about him that way.” Yuuri frowned at those bitter words and set a hard boundary. “We wasted  _ so  _ much time because of the interference of that lie. We were already scent-bonded. That held on through years of separation. My choosing to bond with him, however, was my decision. I expect you to respect that and to accept and respect my mate. If...you cannot, then I leave here and you won’t be bothered by us again.”

Her eyes grew wide with panic. “N-no, I-I-I don’t want that.”

“Then take time to get to know him. He is kind and warm and forgiving. Trust me, he is a lot more ready to forgive you than I am. He’s nothing like the monster you built him into in your mind. I don’t know that I would be here so soon without his encouragement. It is important to him that we repair this rift between us. He knows the importance of family and the pain of its loss.”

Hiroko listened, a little shocked to hear that this man was as giving as her son was saying. “I...will try.”

Yuuri thinned his lips. “Well, that’s a start. But you will do more than try, you will succeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we are down to the last chapter and it will go up sometime next week. Yuuri's faced off with his mother but there are other matters to tie up. Let me hear from you! And take care of yourselves out there.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiroko and Victor talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! Last chapter! I can't believe it! You're probably wondering what's next. More on that later...I want you to soak into this ending!

* * *

Yuuri held Victor’s hand as he introduced his mother, someone Victor had talked to on several occasions but the narrative had changed. “Vitya, this is my mother Hiroko. She would like to properly welcome you to the family.” He held her eyes steadily, brooking no dissent.

She stepped forward, a pained smile upon her lips. “It seems...we’ve come full circle.”

“Hopefully this cycle will not repeat the events of the last,” Victor stated, his eyes straying to his partner.

“Perhaps...I was rash in the manner in which I handled things.”

Victor thinned his lips. “Perhaps I was too young to understand the implications of my decisions. However, looking back, I know I would still protect Yuuri.”

“My...experience with alphas in my life may have clouded my judgment.”

“And my lack of family possibly caused me to try and push myself into a space that wasn’t...quite ready for me yet.”

“Shall we...begin again?”

Victor nodded, feeling Yuuri squeeze his hand as he released a sigh. “I would like that. It was never my desire for Yuuri to be separated from his family.”

Pausing, she used that as an opening, “What... _ is  _ your intention?”

“To build a family. To support Yuuri. And to grow as a person for knowing him.”

She twisted one corner of her mouth up thoughtfully, a mannerism he noticed in Mari. “Perhaps...you and I can have tea.”

“Oh, okay...I’d like that.” He then let go of Yuuri’s hand and glanced back at his partner before being led away.

It wasn’t a ceremony. It looked more like a western tea service, Hiroko preparing the tea for her new son-in-law. “You...are already bonded.”

“Yuuri didn’t want to wait. I...didn’t want to wait, either. I’ve known for a long time that I would never settle for another.”

She brought over a kettle, setting it between the two and offering him a cup. “You don’t really know him.”

Victor shook his head. “I can’t agree with that. I felt every flash of anxiety, every elation, every laugh, every tear for the last thirteen years. I wasn’t in the scenario with him, but I was there for the emotions. My viewpoint may be different from anyone else, but that doesn’t mean I know him any less.”

She took a drink from her cup, studying him over the rim. “You didn’t contact him at eighteen.”

He toyed with the cup in front of him, “No...I didn’t want to get in the way of his dreams, his college. I chose to let our reacquaintance come naturally.”

She hummed thoughtfully. Then she tilted her head. “When you stopped calling…”

“You demanded I stopped...and I knew I wasn’t welcome,” he answered quietly.

She thinned her lips before answering, “Yuuri said you have depression.”

He kept his eyes locked on the cup, the swirling dark liquid. “I’m getting help for that,” he rushed, worried about her seeing his inadequacy, seeing him as a weak alpha.

She shook her head. “Please...let me finish. Yuuri said that you have depression, that perhaps my...treatment of you aggravated that depression and may have pushed you towards unfortunate choices.” She was quiet for a moment before adding, “I lost my sister due to...unfortunate choices. I would hate to be responsible for another.”

Victor considered her words before stating, “I fought counselors for a long time, not thinking I was worth their attention. I didn’t value myself and because of that I couldn’t really see the family around me trying to take care of me. I only saw the loss of my own parents...and then the loss of Yuuri. But you were right. I should not have put the weight of my own needs for a family onto the shoulders of a child.”

She thought about those words, taking a drink from her cup. “I panicked that night. I have not had good relationships with alphas. I...did not give you a chance.”

Victor shrugged, studying his own cup. “I mean, I didn’t have much to offer.”

She huffed at that. “You were a boy! What could I have expected you to offer?” Victor lifted his eyes, looking at her with surprise. She continued, “The point is, I never got to know you. I was blinded by...events in my past.”

He nodded, tightening his lips around his own hurt. “I could see you were afraid. Not right away, not at the moment, but as I looked back and replayed that scene in my head. I knew there had to be a reason...and I’m not saying I have any right to know that reason, but...part of me wondered if you thought I wasn’t good enough.”

She closed her eyes before admitting, “No alpha would have been good enough.” She paused, considering how her words sounded. “I want someone who would keep him safe, protect him from the evils of this world. I saw alphas, all alphas, as unsafe. It...is something I must work on.”

“I would never intentionally hurt Yuuri,” Victor stated quietly. “Nor does Yuuri necessarily need my protection. He is a strong omega, a strong person. We want to take care of each other. We know there will be times that my depression or Yuuri’s anxiety will cause difficulties but it is something we are willing to work on.”

“Yuuri says I have to accept you or lose him. I do not want to lose my son. This is difficult for me. I will try, though.” It was an off hand comment to her, she never heard the horrible insult in her words but they fell on Victor’s ear heavily.

Victor felt the sting of those words, a painful reminder that he would never find love in this house for himself. “I’ll try as well. I do not want to be the reason Yuuri’s family breaks up.”

She studied him, her eyes worn from carrying years of worry and guilt. “Yuuri has worked hard to get to the level he’s at.”

Victor smiled, finally on a subject he loved to talk about, “I know. I’ve watched him grow as well. I want to encourage him to continue to grow.”

“And his college?” She eyed him suspiciously. “I see you wasted no time in claiming him.” Hiroko’s bitter words were grating on him.

“I don’t like that term, please don’t use it.” Victor’s words were tight, controlled. “I tossed away my entire life just to follow him to Detroit.” Victor wasn’t showing his anger, but she certainly was starting to feel it. “I left my rink, my life, my friends, my job, my coach, everything to move to Detroit to be with Yuuri. And not to  _ let _ him finish college but because we both know it’s important for him. I value his goals because he values them.”

She was incredulous, “What do you know of his goals?”

“I know he wants to finish college, and possibly go to graduate school. I know he wants to coach professionally. Beyond that I know that we will support each other as our goals develop and change. Just like any other healthy relationship.”

Hiroko frowned, she wanted to believe his words. Everything he was saying felt sincere, and he was so open she could read him, but each time she looked at him those memories of a little girl smiling at her from her apartment as Hiroko closed the door peeked out. Little brown eyes, and cheeks round like Yuuri’s smiling that last smile. And then the memory flashed to something else, the blood stained tiles of a bathroom and that horrible smell of death.

“And how long will that last? These grand schemes of ‘what Yuuri wants’ will disappear once you decide it’s been enough. My son might not be able to see you for what you are, but I do. He doesn’t see the world like I do. He can’t see danger or keep himself safe, but I do. He can’t protect himself from alphas, he’s not strong…” The word slipped out of her mouth so quickly she could have slapped it back in. Did she just call her son weak? Coming from anyone else she would have laughed at their stupidity. How could she do it? But she wouldn’t be granted the time to consider it.

“Stop talking about Yuuri like he’s some weakling!” Victor rose so quickly he upset the table slightly. Not enough to upend it or spill the tea, but enough to catch Hiroko’s attention. “You sit there and talk about him like he’s a child. He’s not. He’s brilliant, and giving, and kind, and he’s the strongest man I’ve ever known.”

She blinked, outraged. This foul alpha coming into her home and lecturing her on her son. “Don’t you dare speak to me that way!”

“Don’t you dare talk about Yuuri that way.” Victor heard how like a petulant child he sounded but he didn’t care, he even jutted his chin in defiance. It only made him look foolish.

The mother narrowed her eyes, an alpha was standing having just shouted at her, yet this was nothing like she recalled. There were no pheromones choking the room, he wasn’t standing over her, using his body to intimidate her. In fact he was standing respectfully far from her having backed away from the table. And he seemed...fragile.

What was worse, she knew he was right. She had no right to talk about Yuuri as though he were weak. Her son was strong, capable, intelligent… he was remarkable. And this young man saw all of it. Taking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes, and exhaled two words she never thought she would say with sincerity to an alpha, “I’m sorry.”

Viktor was taken aback, he shifted from one foot to the other and nodded sharply. “Thank you.”

“Won’t you please sit back down?” She indicated to the seat in front of him. She smiled as he moved into the seat, “You are a most peculiar alpha.”

“Not really. At the rink there are several other alphas, none of whom act all macho and gruff.” He toyed with the handle of the mug, as if testing the boundaries to which he could move. “It is against the rules to push out pheromones or act aggressively. It’s rude and it teaches a bad influence to the kids.”

“You work with children?” Her ears perked up.

Victor smiled, happy to discuss a fond memory, “Yakov, my coach, put me in charge of the younger children when I was only a teen. I love teaching them.”

“So you like children?”

“Very much.” Victor settled into his chair a little more comfortably.

“I need to hear your story. I’ve spent too long with very wrong ideas that have clouded my judgment. Tell me everything, and I’ll listen.” Hiroko looked at the pale man sitting before her, toying with his tea but not drinking it. “What are you afraid of?”

“What am I not afraid of?” He kept his eyes on the swirling mist of the cup, as if reading the future. A horrible destiny arose before him. “You’ll never love me, I know that. But I’m scared you’ll never even like me. And I can tolerate that, for Yuuri. For Yuuri I’d put up with anything. But that’s not a life I’d choose for myself, for anyone. I want to be loved. I’ve been lonely for so long, I lost my whole family, and I hope...hoped that I could build one with Yuuri. And we will, but there will always be this. Your hatred for me, for all alphas. Everytime we get together as a family it will be here, waiting for me like a spider ready to pounce. Any mistake I make, and trust me I make plenty, will be judged against a stereotype. Will Yuuri grow to hate me? Will you hate my children? Will you teach my children to hate me?” He was crying before her now.

Across the table was an ocean of time, she longed to tell him he was wrong, she didn’t hate him. She was a foolish woman who, locked in a nightmare of a memory made a horrible, unforgivable choice. And in doing so she thought she was protecting her child by callously throwing aside another. Now, sitting here, seeing the man melt away into the scared, fragile thirteen year old she had met years ago, she would scream at that woman, tear her hair, and protect that boy like he was her own. Because he was. He was the love of her son’s life, and in that, he was part of her.

She rose slowly moving over to him, unable to keep her silence any longer. Without his permission she wrapped him in her arms, even as he tried, weakly without heart, to move away from her, she hugged harder. “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” She wept with him, pouring out her heart. “I could kill that woman that tossed you out. I’m so ashamed to be her, to wear her face.” She pulled back, moving her chair next to him and taking his hands.

His eyes, blue and clear, stared out from behind a wall of tears, “Victor, I should have seen the good in you. Had I not been blinded by my own prejudices I would have, anyone can see it. It was only a blind foolish old woman that couldn’t. And I have to beg your forgiveness for that. I have to live on eggshells, not you.”

“I don’t want that.”

“And that’s what makes you strong. You are so much stronger than I am. You bravely stood by my Yuuri and came here to face the monster that tossed you aside.”

He chuckled, and swiped at the tears drying on his cheek, “You’re not a monster.”

“I’m getting better, but I have a long way to go. I need strength like you have.”

“Well, Yuuri is my rock, so…”

“Perhaps we can both lean on my son.”

Victor sniffled a little, calmer now. The good cry getting out the emotional baggage he hadn’t realized he had carried from Russia to Detroit and now to Japan. She sat next to him, still holding his hands and waiting for him to make a move. Slowly his head drooped, the fatigue of the travel, of the years he missed, of the lonely taking hold and his body screamed his exhaustion

In a move that shocked even her, Hiroko touched lightly the silver hair, feeling the silken threads in her fingers and navigated it to rest on her shoulder. Victor sighed happily to be held and she rocked slowly, releasing a calming pheromone to settle him further.

“I hope this is alright? I didn’t ask permission.”

Victor hummed lightly, “I didn’t know how badly I needed this.”

She let him sit, side by side with her, enjoying the slow rock. The mother stretched out and arm to pull his small form to her, noticing how slight he was.  _ I’ll have to fatten this one up or my Yuuri will break him _ . Softly she hummed a song she used on her children when they were sad, or woke from a nightmare.

_ Is this how it would have been? This boy, growing with my son, coming to me with his problems and worries. I could have been a mother to him, and he a son to me. _

She banished that from her mind. Hell is a truth learned too late. Better to walk forward into a future while learning from the past then the walk through it and torture yourself daily.

“Victor. If I am ever lucky enough to win a spot in your heart, I will guard it with a fierceness you’ve never known. But until then, I will stand by you and my son with loyalty and honesty.”

The alpha sat up, much better for her love, “Thank you.”

“You won’t keep him away from us?”

“Never! I want him, all of you, to make peace. But in a healthy way. Not sweeping it under the carpet.”

“His father and I are very dedicated to our son.”

“I know. I could tell every time we talked. I never wanted to come between you.”

She shook her head. “No, you didn’t come between us. I...made bad choices. I thought...bad things happened and I thought they were happening again. I reacted harshly. We will work through them. I will get to know you. And Yuuri...wants me to see a counselor. I don’t even know where to start with that.”

“Perhaps talk to Yuuri...he’s been to a few. I have as well but...I don’t think I was ready to receive help. I’m better now. I think you have to be ready in order for it to work.”

“I don’t know...but I have to try.”

* * *

  
  


After so much tension, Yuuri needed to burn off some of his energy. They returned to Mari and Aiko’s apartment and gathered their things for skating. “I warn you, Yuuko is a huge fan.”

Victor chuckled at that. “I’m not surprised your best friend is a huge fan. I found the posters.”

Yuuri stilled at that. He had given strict instructions for Phichit to hide them well. “I...they aren’t as nicely kept as yours.”

Victor shrugged. “I do have originals for the official posters. Perhaps we can frame them and hang them together with yours. Matching year by year.”

Yuuri snorted at that as he lifted his bag and swung it over his shoulder. “I don’t know if we have enough wall space for that. You have twelve posters. And they are all in St. Petersburg.”

“They are...you wouldn’t let me bring them. Why?”

He shrugged. “It’s weird to look up and see myself on that wall. I don’t...feel like I belong.”

Victor wrapped Yuuri in his arms, pulling him close and murmured in his ear. “Yuuri, you are the reigning World Champion. You very much belong in the spotlight.”

Yuuri shrugged but rested on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. “It still feels surreal. Like at times I do believe it...but then I don’t. Like, it must be someone else.”

“It is your time. It may surprise you but in the world of figure skating, I’m starting to get...old.”

Yuuri smirked at how his voice almost broke to say that. “It hurts to admit that, doesn’t it?”

He chuckled. “No...and yes. I feel every fall that much more keenly these days. I’m not sure how much longer I have on the ice as a competitor. I’d like to leave on my terms, not declining and certainly not injured.”

Yuuri was still, his expression pensive as he listened hard to Victor’s words. “You’re retiring, aren’t you?” he asked cautiously, knowing Victor hated it when reporters asked that question.

The alpha sighed heavily. “Not...immediately. I do want this season, I want to skate the program you developed for me. But...yes.”

“I’m not ready yet,” Yuuri whispered.

Victor chuckled. “You’ve got at least a good four years more, maybe five or six. Each body is different.”

“Th-that’s not what I mean. I’m not ready...to not see you compete. I will respect your decision when it comes but I know I will be sad that day.”

Victor smiled, pulling the man close to him. “Honestly, me, too...but I think I know where I want to go next. I’ve been talking to Coach Celestino about it.”

Yuuri chuckled. “Are you going to join the DSC staff as a coach?”

“Kind of...I want to be a dedicated coach to my Yuuri. We work well together, read each other well. I want to support you until you retire, Yuuri. And then...maybe we can partner up to take on students together.”

Yuuri hummed at that. It sounded like a future. “And when I’m ready to stay home?”

Victor smiled against his cheek. “I want to be with our children as much as you. We will figure out what works best for us as a family.”

“Family...sounds kind of nice.”

“Yes, it does, my Yuuri.”

They broke away, if they were going to skate, they needed to get moving. After school classes will arrive eventually.

* * *

  
  


Yuuri came through the doors, smiling as he saw Yuuko working behind the counter putting rental skates away. “We’re closed right now,” she sang without turning around.

“Even for your best friend?”

She turned, her eyes wide. “Yuuri?!!” She was quickly around the counter and ran to hug him close. “I can’t believe you’re finally here!”

“For about a month,” he answered as he hugged her back.

She squealed, then settled long enough to ask, “Where is he?”

“Wow, am I loved for myself or my partner?” He laughed at her as she smirked. Yuuri grinned before turning, “Vitya, do you have the dogs settled? He’s been cleaning their paws.”

His mate came around the corner, three dogs following him, looking around in excitement at the new space. “I hope you don’t mind that we brought our kids. And Koro is our nephew.”

She gasped, her hands going up to her face. “Dog babies! You two are so adorable together!”

Victor grinned as he came forward. “You must be Yuuko. Phichit told me to let you know that  _ he  _ is the best friend.”

She waved off that statement. “He hasn’t put in the time to make that claim yet. I can’t believe...you’re really here. We spent so much time growing up talking about you.”

“Really?” Victor asked, laughing and interested eyes looking over to his mate who now covered his face. “Do tell.”

“Yuuri has always had a bit of a crush on you,” she spilled, laughing at her friend’s groan. “We would spend hours breaking down your skate programs and practicing them.”

Yuuri peeked out between his fingers. “I’m going to go die now.”

“I know!” Victor answered. “You were so prolific about putting up Yuuri content! To be honest, I considered you my best friend for it!”

The sound that came from Yuuko could not be heard on a human register although the dogs barked in response. She turned to Yuuri. “Did you hear that?!! He thinks we’re best friends. Phichit can have you!”

Yuuri snorted, his hands now down. “Well, I suppose you can have more than one. And Victor’s a good friend to have.”

She turned back to face both of them. “Thank you. This means so much to me. We should trade numbers.” Spying over at Yuuri, she added, “Sometimes this one can be stubborn about communication.”

Victor chuckled. “I know about that stubbornness. I’d be happy to trade numbers.” They were soon sharing contacts and then he glanced towards the ice. “I suppose Yuuri told you that we would need ice?”

“Yes! You are here to practice. Are you okay if I watch?”

Victor shrugged. “I don’t mind. Yuuri and I are building our next season’s programs. We would prefer to control their release onto the internet.”

“Of course!” She turned to Yuuri excitedly. “I can’t believe I get to watch THE Victor Nikiforov practice. Live! At my home rink!”

Yuuri laughed softly. “You’re going to have to let us go if that’s to happen.”

“Oh, of course! Of course! Go get ready...make yourself at home.”

Yuuri smiled as he pulled Victor back to the small locker room. “Sorry, my friends can be a bit much.”

“Yuuri, I’ve spent the last two months around Phichit and Jules. I know this.”

He laughed in response, changing out of his street clothes and getting ready for practice. “Well, let’s give her a show.”

Victor loved watching Yuuri on the ice he grew up on. It wasn’t a bad facility, and having private ice had its advantages. They both warmed up together and then he had Yuuri run through  _ Eros _ . It was the first time anyone outside of Detroit had seen it. He smirked as he heard another of Yuuri’s friend, Takeshi if he remembered correctly, tease as he returned for a drink.

“Oh, so sexy, Yuuri.”

Yuuri’s eyes widened. “Nishigori!”

He laughed. “I just wanted to come down and say ‘hi’. Is this next season’s program?”

“Yes, my short. I’m not sure I am pulling it off but Vitya is insistent.”

“You perform it beautifully,” Victor reassured him. “We still have work to do but I’m certain that you will have the audience eating from your hand.”

If it hadn’t been for their ‘no lies’ policy, Yuuri would have decided Victor was at least fibbing. Yuuri didn’t think it sounded like him to have an audience at their feet thirsting for him. But Victor insisted he could do this. And he’d looked up to Victor his entire life. Yuuri was just going to have to have faith in the other man, and in himself. “Okay...your turn.”

Victor took a few laps while Yuuri set up the music. The omega looked up and smiled as his friend joined him by the rail. “Couldn’t resist seeing him skate, huh?”

Yuuko chuckled warmly, “I watched you, too...I love this new direction you are taking.”

“Victor choreographed it. He also helped me work out the choreography for my freeskate.”

“I can’t wait to see it!”

Victor took his position as  [ _ Ashes _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK31B6zkGec) began to play. Yuuko’s breath caught as the emotional piece was performed before her, still a little rough around the edges, but still beautiful. Yuuri smiled as he watched Victor shine, and if a tear broke loose and slid down his cheek, so be it. If this would be his last year, he would finish his reign well.  _ I love you. One day I’m going to marry you. _

* * *

  
  


Yuuri worked through the choreography he and Victor had built together in the studio. He could hear  _ Yuri on Ice _ , the song he commissioned, playing in his thoughts. He heard the door open and close, announcing Minako’s entrance, but continued through his program. She came around to study him. He finished and drew still, “What?”

She was clearly shamed and awkward. “No what...you actually look really good. You’ve been working on this.” It pained her, as his first coach and choreographer, to have this between them, keeping her from just enjoying his growth as an artist.

He huffed at that. “Not for long. My heat came early.”

“Those things always have the worst timing,” she clucked.

He drew in his breath and let it out. “You never said anything.” He needed to say this to her. It was a fight worth having.

She turned away, studying her reflection in the mirror, watching just Yuuri beyond her shoulder. “I wanted to, so many times. I tried to. But...I was there when your mother found her sister. Yuuri...it haunted my own nightmares. The horror of that moment stayed with me…” She stopped, shuddering. “It’s here to this day. I can’t imagine what your mother went through. So every time I opened my mouth to speak, I would get a flash of Hi-chan’s little sister.”

So many people were hurt in that one moment, his aunt, his mother, his coach...but then the damage kept on happening, himself, Victor...“But you talked to Victor.”

She shrugged. “I knew he was just a lonely boy. I wanted to help. And I felt really bad about what happened. He was crushed when Hiroko had to turn him away. I did speak up for him on several occasions with your mother. And sometimes...I may have overcompensated for that day.”

“You shared pictures and videos with him. You usurped the friendship I should have been building. We should have been allowed to know one another.”

“I agreed...I  _ do  _ agree. It’s just...you were  _ her  _ son. Not mine.” She shrugged, spreading her hands out before her. “I’m sorry. I hate that I was part of what hurt you. I knew that boy would never hurt you. Goodness, he was so precious. He just wanted to take care of you. But I didn’t know how to undo what was done. And then...it became habit, not telling you.”

Yuuri sniffed, turning away. He crossed the room, and picked up his water bottle. “He’s a good alpha, different from most but...I think I like that.”

She smiled, remembering the boy that she had met that day, “He...was different then. You could tell he treasured you. Even later when we reconnected...he wanted to do everything to take care of you. It took time to get it through to him that for the time, it wasn’t his place. That belonged to your parents. And then, when it could be his, he held back. He was so afraid he wasn’t good enough, he would mess things up for you.”

“He still feels that way,” Yuuri answered quietly. It was painful to know that Victor’s depression and self doubt came from the same well as his greatest love. “I want to make things better...but I think it’s also important for me to accept him the way he is. He says we’re supposed to love each other in our worst places. I hope it works like that because I know we both have work to do. But...I can’t  _ not  _ love him.”

He set down the bottle, returning to her side, his hand now on the bar as he began to work through an old warmup. She joined in with him, a habit from his childhood. “Did you know? Did you see how it was affecting my anxiety? The lies, that is?”

She nodded. “I suspected. It was like watching you hunt for a missing piece. I argued with your mother so many times when it became more apparent. I honestly didn’t know what to do. I...I should have gone with my instincts even if I would have lost a friend.”

Yuuri shrugged, thinking about his mother without her best friend, “I don’t know...I think Mom needed a friend then, and she really needs one now. She doesn’t have many that have stuck around through the years, no one really that she will open up to.”

“But it shouldn’t have come at your expense,” she argued.

He shook his head, “I...I don’t think that it did. I’ll work my way through this. But honestly, it is reassuring that you tried to talk to her, tried to be a moral compass in this.”

“I failed miserably,” she groaned.

He laughed, finally able to laugh at something about all of this, “You did...but there was no way to win in this. I’m still angry with you. You shared things with Victor you never should have shared...but I’m also kind of glad you were there for him. I’m not sure where he would be if you hadn’t been there.”

“I worried about him, too.”

He smiled at that. “It’s hard not to.”

She laughed tearily. “It really is.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuuri sagged against Victor. It had been a long week. “Family is exhausting.”

Victor hummed in agreement. They had decided to continue their visit at the inn, moving into Yuuri’s room. Sitting on the bed in the small space, he pointed out, “It’s going to be tight to sleep in here.”

Yuuri chuckled. “I thought you liked being squished up against me.”

“Yes...but it’s not like we can do anything. These walls are paper thin!” Victor snuck a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Literally,” Yuuri answered, snorting at Victor’s struggle. Turning, he placed his fingers over Victor’s lips. “Do you think you could be quiet?”

The alpha swallowed, hearing the shift in Yuuri’s tone. “For you...I can do anything for you.”

Yuuri leaned in and captured his lips in a kiss, parting with a nibble on the lower lip. “Undress while I lock the door,” he whispered.

Victor looked to the door and nodded. Yuuri rose from the bed and crossed the room, securing the door. His family were busy with customers and wouldn’t be over in the family space for some time but Victor didn’t need to know that. There was something very alluring in Victor’s desire to please him, he wanted to play with that. He turned to find his lover naked and lying back in the bed, a vulnerable expression on his face. “How do I get to have this?” he murmured, undressing as he crossed the room.

“I only want you, my Yuuri,” he answered in a hushed voice.

Yuuri’s knee came up on the bed, glad for the trust they had between them. The omega would do anything for this man, to protect this man, to not hurt this man. “My sweet alpha,” he praised softly, watching Victor slip further under, relaxing in the sheets.

Yuuri made love to him tenderly, starting with another kiss, trailing them back to Victor’s ear, nibbling on the lobe before moving down his neck. He could hear the controlled breaths as his mate fought against the instinct to moan, as he abandoned a groan. The almost breathless response seemed to heighten everything for them. Yuuri knew they wouldn’t last long. He reached back and gathered some of his slick, using it to stroke Victor’s length.

The alpha almost broke at that point, biting his lip to keep control. Yuuri returned to those lips, kissing him, deepening it as he steadily stroked his lover. As they parted, he whispered, “What do you want?”

“I want...I need you...will you ride me?”

Yuuri nuzzled his nose against Victor’s. “Whatever you want, love.” He shifted, reaching back to stretch himself, feeling Victor’s hands on his hips, watching him. They hadn’t had sex since coming to Hasetsu and they needed the release. Reaching for Victor’s length he lined himself up and slowly eased down over his lover. He watched Victor swallow, taking measured breaths as Yuuri settled astride his body.

“Fuck,” Victor whispered.

“You’re doing so well,” Yuuri reassured him, his voice so very soft. He slowly rose and then let himself drop, wincing at the noise of their hips meeting. He would need to exhibit his own control of the situation. Another rise, and the next fall was controlled, settling down without a sound. He looked up at Victor and saw him nod. This was good. Yuuri began to move at a rhythm, Victor understanding, meeting him halfway. They were quick, too many days without, the tension of having to be quiet. Yuuri gasped with his release, spilling over Victor’s chest, and then he felt warmth fill him with a hitch of his lover’s breath. Leaning forward, he stretched his body over Victor’s. The other held him close. “I love you,” he murmured against the alpha’s ear.

“I love you, too...and I’m so glad you are so perfect for me.”

“We waited for each other for so long...I don’t know that we could be anything else.”

Slowly parting, Yuuri cleaned him up before pulling the quilt over the two of them, snuggling in together. Things were going to be fine. His mother had started talking about counseling and Yuuri suggested they work together through their own conflict. They had a counseling appointment in the morning. He hoped she would be comfortable with this one. He wasn’t sure if he’d get her to another. But maybe together, they could get her the help she needed...and work through their own struggles.

A month didn’t seem long enough to do all that needed to be done. Victor suggested they return at the end of July. A conversation with Celestino and the coach offered to come to Japan to work with them. Phichit was in Thailand with Satsuki. He had the time to spare. Things might be awkward between him and Minako but perhaps they had their own business to work through. But Yuuri had hope. Victor had hope. And that was everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! What an ending! I had one more NSFW scene left in me. ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this. As for what's next, I was digging through my unfinished stories and uncovered something I began just before COVID set in, a little harlequin romance. There are two chapters up. The third is now in the works. It is perfect for the holidays.
> 
> I was inspired to do a holiday write by Linisen's advent story (the Dirty Dancing story I hoped someone would write). No, I won't be putting up a daily chapter. I am involved with several community service projects. However, I do hope to have Winter's Promise wrapped up by January.

**Author's Note:**

> Everything is done for a reason. Please comment! I love to hear from you!


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